jolinda

I found out late last night, from my oldest son, my A/H was at a friend of boths. About a month an half ago my husband was at this friends house, had a girl with him (ABOUT 16 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HE) TRYING TO BUY METH. It really hurt me, because he told me he hasnt seen this girl in months. Not only the meth i have to deal with but this too. Im sooooooooo sick of thiBut problem is i texted him out of anger, told him never come home and never contact me. I know i shouldnt have contacted him and it should not make ant difference , but it does. Losing all self esteem. Hes 48, Im almost 57. Its like a punch in the stomach

Ann

I know this hurts terribly, Jolinda. Sadly, it is a common part of addiction and what you may want to think about is how long you want to live like this.

I found it very hard to keep my sanity while living with the insanity of addiction, in my case it was my son. But there came a time when I realized that it wasn't going to end any time soon and I just could not live one more day like that.

That was my bottom or turning point. It hurt terribly, but it was the beginning of recovery for me, before I went down with him.

Hugs

dollydo

I am sorry that you are in pain, however, you do understand that you are doing this to yourself, might be time to bite the bullet and go No Contact.

He has moved on, sometimes acceptance needs to be our watch word.

Keep those meetings up, read CoDependent No More.

jolinda

Thanks Ann and Dolly, I needed to hear that! Im really trying. Going to get the book today. Cant wait, Need to get all the help i can find

Kindeyes

Jolinda
I'm sorry you are suffering. Sometimes the pain of staying with someone becomes greater than the pain of living without them. I've gotten to that point twice in my life. Once with my XAH and once with my AS.

I have found that my suffering was a choice. I have chosen not to suffer needlessly and I feel much better.

You are not alone.

gentle hugs
ke

MsPINKAcres

((Jolinda))

Hate so much you are dealing with this pain and heartache. . .

I would like to share something with you that was asked of me many years ago. . .

At that time I was living with my now exah, we have 5 daughters ~ my then ah was active in his addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, etc. . . . A good friend/sponsor asked me a question. . .
She said " Please take a good look at your relationship right now, as it is, no maybes, no going to change, no anything ~ just as it is today. The way that your ah views you and your marriage, the way that things are in your relationship ~ NOW imagine that this is the relationship that one of your daughters are in ~ what would you want for them? Would this be good enough for them? Would all of this be acceptable behavior for someone to give to your precious daughters? Probably not. SO why my dear friend is it acceptable to allow yourself to be in this unhealthy situation?"

Never had I thought of things that way ~ Never did I imagine that I was teaching my daughters that it was OK to be treated this way, to not be given respect by your partner, to not be in a mutually beneficial relationship.

By allowing these things, we are allowing our sons & daughters to know it is OK to treat people this way or to accept this type of behaviors from others. . . FOR ME, this is NOT something I wanted to be my legacy to my daughters and grandchildren.

This is what motivated me to seek a better, healthier life ~ it wasn't easy or painless but I learned that if my daughters were worth it ~ so was I!

Wishing you the very best on your path to recovery,
PINK HUGS,
Rita

Freedom1990

I am so sorry for your pain. I know well the brutal sting of betrayal. Before I left my EXAH, he had hooked up with a 17-year-old, whose dad was a doctor (talk about a relationship of opportunity).

It's never too late to start your life over, I promise.

Sending you hugs of support.