Need some responses - 30 day treatment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 18
Need some responses - 30 day treatment
Hey everyone! My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is supposed to go to 30 day treatment facility tomorrow. I am wondering what to expect and what the general rules in those situations????
SOBERWRLDRCDPOWER
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wesley Chapel, Florida
Posts: 42
Is he going cause he really wants to go or is he going cause he wants to really get sober. In all reality if he is serious about quitting they're gonna ask a lot of questions about the relationahip with you. Do you drink? Are you respectful enough not to drink around himfor a while. Are you a threat to his sobriety. EVEN THOUGH the relationship has already been established they might have you come in if it's close or have a three way call with you and go over what everyone thinks is in his best interest and right now nothing and I mean absolutely nothing should be more important than him wanting to get sober and stay sober. So be prepared because there's going to be a lot of changes in it for you as well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 696
This is NOT to sound harsh, but this what I learned and this is what I wish I had known one year ago.
1. 28/30 day rehab is NOT a miracle cure. It's NOT a guarnatee he will get or stay sober.
2. Wheter he is paying for rehab or wheter it is court ordered, that is his deal. NOT yours!
3. Your deal is: To learn and educate yourself what alcoholism is. How it has changed or effected you. Why do you stay with an alcoholic. Why do you think you can change him. Why do you continue to live the way you do with him. Why do you love someone that is so mean to you. Why do you want to continue to be unhappy. Why do you live in denial, fear and guilt.
*ALL OF THIS: is what I read out of your previous post*
4. How to work on you? Find a Alanon Class, Find a Codependcy Class, Counseling *(Counselor w/ background of addiction, Read Codependent No More, Keep Posting On This Site
When mine went in for 28 days. He came home with changes and I stayed the same.
It was a train wreck.........I had big hopes and dreams, he was going to come home
and be "CURED". ~~ BOOM! BABY reality hit me like a train! - He was not cured
and I was more of mess than when he went in....
Soon as he got out, the "sneaking" drinks/ bottles drinking began all over again
A couple of months later, he admitted he went there to save our marriage - FAIL
A year later, he is back into another one, has been there for almost 90 days -
GONNA SAY THIS ONE IS A FAIL TOO! *Why? Because he went there because
that's what he family wanted him to do....
It's like, me buying you a membership to the gym, so you can lose some weight
If you dont go to the gym and exercise, your not going to lose weight, just because
I bought you a membership doesnt mean your going to lose weight...YOUR the only one that can go there and exercise to lose your own weight. I cant do it for you...
Just like him going to rehab, doesnt mean he's going to get sober and stay sober.
It's just a beginning and it's just for today.
HE WILL BE AN ALCOHOLIC his ENTIRE life....Wheter he stays sober, that is his choice, not yours...
So the best advice I can give you is: Who gives a ratsass what he is doing...
Isnt it time, you start taking care of you..........
Why do you stay in that relationship??? That is what you need to figure out...
Alanon and the list that I wrote above is a place for you to begin to get your life
back....
Step back and take care of you for 30 days...Get with the program...
It's the best thing you can do for your entire life!!!
Hope this helps
and YES, we all want to know what to expect when they are in rehab centers....
They study, read, listen to lectures, watch educational videos, pray, share thoughts and fears, cry, scream, kick their feet, soul search, dig up pains and throw out skeltons...TRYING TO GET HEALED
....Just like what we do in Alanon classes - It's all about ME getting healed
1. 28/30 day rehab is NOT a miracle cure. It's NOT a guarnatee he will get or stay sober.
2. Wheter he is paying for rehab or wheter it is court ordered, that is his deal. NOT yours!
3. Your deal is: To learn and educate yourself what alcoholism is. How it has changed or effected you. Why do you stay with an alcoholic. Why do you think you can change him. Why do you continue to live the way you do with him. Why do you love someone that is so mean to you. Why do you want to continue to be unhappy. Why do you live in denial, fear and guilt.
*ALL OF THIS: is what I read out of your previous post*
4. How to work on you? Find a Alanon Class, Find a Codependcy Class, Counseling *(Counselor w/ background of addiction, Read Codependent No More, Keep Posting On This Site
When mine went in for 28 days. He came home with changes and I stayed the same.
It was a train wreck.........I had big hopes and dreams, he was going to come home
and be "CURED". ~~ BOOM! BABY reality hit me like a train! - He was not cured
and I was more of mess than when he went in....
Soon as he got out, the "sneaking" drinks/ bottles drinking began all over again
A couple of months later, he admitted he went there to save our marriage - FAIL
A year later, he is back into another one, has been there for almost 90 days -
GONNA SAY THIS ONE IS A FAIL TOO! *Why? Because he went there because
that's what he family wanted him to do....
It's like, me buying you a membership to the gym, so you can lose some weight
If you dont go to the gym and exercise, your not going to lose weight, just because
I bought you a membership doesnt mean your going to lose weight...YOUR the only one that can go there and exercise to lose your own weight. I cant do it for you...
Just like him going to rehab, doesnt mean he's going to get sober and stay sober.
It's just a beginning and it's just for today.
HE WILL BE AN ALCOHOLIC his ENTIRE life....Wheter he stays sober, that is his choice, not yours...
So the best advice I can give you is: Who gives a ratsass what he is doing...
Isnt it time, you start taking care of you..........
Why do you stay in that relationship??? That is what you need to figure out...
Alanon and the list that I wrote above is a place for you to begin to get your life
back....
Step back and take care of you for 30 days...Get with the program...
It's the best thing you can do for your entire life!!!
Hope this helpsand YES, we all want to know what to expect when they are in rehab centers....
They study, read, listen to lectures, watch educational videos, pray, share thoughts and fears, cry, scream, kick their feet, soul search, dig up pains and throw out skeltons...TRYING TO GET HEALED
....Just like what we do in Alanon classes - It's all about ME getting healed
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Between Tampa and Orlando, FL
Posts: 48
Most programs have somewhat different rules and "what to expect". I went to a great 30 day program and while it was somewhat restrictive, it was also, the one of the best experiences of my life. There should be a prospectus that outlines pretty much everything for him and you. All the best.
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