aeo1313

That is the first time in well over a month. I did not intend for it to be that way, but I felt really good about it. My pills have been dwindling and have only been taking maybe one a day for a while. I am tired of spending energy thinking about how to get them. I did get some pot though and I know that's not good, but it did help with withdrawl.

My daughter's Bat Mitzvah is 3 weeks away and I knew I didn't want to be in withdrawl that weekend. She has worked so hard for this day and I need to be healthy and clean for her.

I don't know why I am even posting this. Not sure I want to fully be in recovery with everything, yet I felt so proud of myself yesterday. Very confusing.

Relayer

Good start!! I weaned myself off of oxy's slowly by reducing what I needed every day to just enough to not wanna jump out of my skin, but not enough to really get high. Worked like a charm!! You do need to be well for your daughter and for yourself! Keep up the good work and don't stop trying. Hey... weed can be a decent way to get through detox of something worse. then it's easier to get off weed... if you want to. Been there, done that. I had to finally quit weed, because of screening while job hunting. It wasn't too hard, not at all compared to opiates or benzos.

bayliss

Great job Aeo! Your daughter would be so proud. Actually everyone should be so proud! Keep on going!

And ps...I do understand what you mean about not want to "fully be in recovery"...I think that is our addictive voice talking. But it was great regardless that you want to bed sober. Hope you feel fantastic today.

2granddaughters

aeo, are you attending AA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

a day clean and sober is a good start aeo

I'm afraid I can't agree with relayers advice tho - I wrecked my life as much on pot as I did anything else, and I'm not the only one here who'll tell you that story.

The problem was not the drugs I got hooked on, but the reasons in me why I got hooked on the drugs, y'know?

D

IndaMiricale

Glad your doing it again aero

aeo1313

Right now I am high, took Xanax, and only one 5mg Vicodin. And I shot of vodka. Took a hit of pot first and set the rest in motiOn. This is a new realization to me. Figured I could quit drugs but maintain 1 day week drinking. But one drink got me wanting a pill and with no more access to them will have to turn to pot. I think I might me powerless. I don't want that. Want to go back 2 years ago and

aeo1313

The bat mitzvah in 3 weeks. Better to stop now or after so stressed with the planning.

Dee74

Ok the thing is aeo - you're doing what I used to do - have one night off then 'make up for it' the next day.

Think about it - is it really a step forward if we take 3 steps back after that?
Pills weed and booze are not going to help you get to where you want to be, aeo....not for this bat mitvah or anything else.

Isn't it time to give recovery a real go?

We can't turn the clock back - wherever you were 2 years ago it's gone. It;s not coming back. We have to work with what we have today.

We can make tomorrow better tho - based on what we decide to do today.

Commit yourself to working for recovery aeo - it's the best decision you'll ever make - seriously

D

OCDDan

aeo, Is boating season coming up for you or is that just a nice avitar?

sugarbear1

are you trying to hurt yourself with that mix? respiratory distress, heart palpitations, not a great thing to do.

Please see your doctor and detox off the meds, then leave the pot alone. You're just hurting yourself.

Peace & love,

aeo1313

Yes it is!! It is my folks' boat but we gather up the kids and dog and head to the lake a few times a summer. That is a picture of the docks from a restaurant we were eating at.