bayliss

Hello everyone!

Okay...so I know that I have said I am done drinking in the past but this time I am d.o.n.e. After another fight about my drinking with the bf last night I couldn't seem to sleep and had a lot of time to just lay there and think of all the messed up crap I have done while drinking - how many people I have disappointed and let down (particularly the bf and my family).

But here is my issue...I am afraid of withdrawal. I know that this shouldn't keep me from quitting and trust me, it isn't an excuse because I am quitting regardless but I keep hearing all these detox stories which freaked me out. In the past I have detoxed on my own (just realized this isn't the smartest idea) and really didn't have any issues other then feeling "dopey", tired all the time, etc...I really don't think my doctor has a concern about this and when I went to see an addictions counsellor she didn't mention anything about a medical detox so I was just looking for some thoughts on this? Should I go back to my doc and express my concern? My other issue is that he books a few weeks ahead so it MIGHT take a bit to see him unless he takes me in sooner.
I am 25, pretty healthy I would say (minus some extra weight that I would like to lose), despite the drinking...which has been an everyday thing for the last 2-3 years...the past 6 months or so I have drank in the mornings, sometimes all day.
I was away on vacation recently and did go 2 days without alcohol, no problem...longest I have been sober has been 2.5 weeks.

I have anxiety issues already and am prescribed ativan (which I hear helps with detox) and have OCD and am a hypochondriac to boot so this anxiety I am feeling is freaking me out. And with the OCD I just sit there and ruminate over all these withdrawal symptoms and am hyper aware of what my body is doing.
My last drink was last night at around 9pm I believe...the past 3 weeks I have cut down quite a bit as well since I was at home for some time and my parents obviously wouldn't let me drink a litre of wine in one night (which I did/do -- well not anymore...not starting today...).

Just was wondering for some opinions on the matter.
The boyfriend stopped a few weeks ago and seemed to have NO withdrawal symptoms at all. :/

Sorry this was so long-winded. Thanks for listening...and I do know that we can't give out medical advice! Not asking for that! Just for some thoughts and opinions!

Thanks everyone.

jobei

Go to your Doctor... he/she will help you out big time. I'm so happy to hear that you want to quit... I was drinking in a very similar way to you and I quit about a month ago... feel so much better!

bayliss

Congratulations Jobei! Good job! I'll be so happy when I get to one month. I am just afraid of feeling sick (sounds a bit silly, I know)...and also hope that the Doc knows a little bit about alcohol withdrawal then some.
I shall make an appointment this AM.

Dee74

Making an appointment really is the best thing bayliss - let them know you're really concerned about this

D

langkah

Great you're still trying, keep going.

eJoshua

No advice, but glad you made the decision, Bayliss.

2granddaughters

bayless, are you determined enough to go to AA?

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

bayliss

Hey Bob. AA isn't for me. I did go once last year...I am going to focus more on AVRT this time I think. Also, I don't want to go through the whole withdrawal thing again so that'll help me stay away from the boozin'.

2granddaughters

I understand....

All the best. AA will be there if you need it later.

Wishing you good luck in your recovery.

Bob R

instant

Great decision. It,s the best move I ever made. Mynonlybregret is not doing it sooner. All the fears about forever etc are a product of the addiction. If you think you are up for a bad withdrawal get advice.

bayliss

I am way more optimistic this time around then I have in the past. The thing is that I never had bad withdrawal's in the past at all. My anxiety and OCD get the better of me and I panic into thinking that I will have a really bad withdrawal...if that makes sense.

So it is a bit of a struggle because I sit there and think if I have a couple drinks later I will be alright and not have to worry - not going to happen.

Just waiting for my Doc office to open up so I can call and make an appointment.

langkah

'I am going to focus more on AVRT this time I think. Also, I don't want to go through the whole withdrawal thing again so that'll help me stay away from the boozin'.'

I'm very glad to hear this. Do you think you'll begin to read the book this week, or next?

bayliss

Definitely this week. Also will check out the site.


I called my Doc office...they need to page him to see if he can take me in today - what if he doesn't? Should I just keep on going with not drinking?

jobei

Keep calling If your regular doctor can't see you just go to the office and someone there will consult you! Trust me it will really help once you tell them about what you're going through... quitting on your own is really hard to do!

bayliss

My Doc knows that I have problems with drinking and it's easy for me to talk to because he went through substance abuse issues in his lifetime as well. I know that I can't just walk into my doc office without an appointment (very strict).
I am still waiting for a call back. So we shall see. Fingers crossed. I need to put my mind at ease. I don't feel too bad today. Just a bit tired and have anxiety. Going to keep myself busy and tidy up around the house and go for a walk afterwards.

When people describe their withdrawals and say "Day 1" does that mean their actual first day? Like what I am doing here? Since I drank last night is today my day 1 if I don't drink until midnight or something? Just keep comparing my symptoms to others. I know I shouldn't since we are all different...

seethefuture

Take care of yourself - do something nice for yourself every day! Congrats on your decision.

desertsong

You've made a very wise decision for your life. Good job! I'm also on Ativan ... I did do a 3 day detox in the hospital because I was in a very bad way this last time, and being there did a lot to clean out my body and help with the the withdrawals. When I came home, they sent me with a prescription for Ativan to take as needed for anxiety/withdrawal symptoms but I didn't really need it by that point - I went through the worst of it in the hospital. Previously when I had detoxed though, my doctor had put me on a short course of Librium and it worked wonders, although it did leave me rather sleepy and unambitious for a few days.

Definitely see your doctor ASAP and ask for that help. No sense waiting. If he can't see you today, maybe you can go to an urgent care? I did that the first time I detoxed ... went in and was completely honest ... said my regular doctor couldn't see me right away and that I needed help NOW. They gave me some meds, I took them and was just fine (until I went back to drinking, of course, lol).

This is Day 1 ... you don't have to overthink whether it should be or not ... just DECIDE.

bayliss

Thanks DesertSong - I'm not feeling too bad at the moment, just a bit anxious...I have no shakes or anything like that at all...but it has only been 15 hours.
I am hungry but just don't want to eat - no appetite...although I know I should try to at least eat something...

I would prefer to see my doc since I have seen him for years and years now and he understands me.
I just really hope I can get in with him today.

I have detoxed before...well, have gone a few days without drinking and nothing really out of the ordinary other then feeling like a space cadet in the beginning and being always tired.

What if I go to see him and he still sends me home? What if that paranoid feeling doesn't go away. I am just afraid of seizures and DTs...
I guess he is the doctor though and would know best.
I wonder if a lot of people detox at home. I read on a drug rehab site (in my province) that most of the time the people that go through medical detox has underlying health problems.

Sorry. Lots of question's here.
I guess I am just scared. I'm scared to keep drinking and now I am scared to quit. :/

desertsong

If you have been drinking more this time around than last time around, it's POSSIBLE (not PROBABLE) that you will have more difficult withdrawals this time. Feeling spacy and tired is normal, and if you don't feel any worse than that, you're probably okay but I think medical attention is a must regardless. I hope you can see your doc today. Just be very honest about the amounts of alcohol you've been drinking and for how long so that he knows the best way to treat you. Your being on the Ativan is probably already helping you through the early hours of detox, so that's a good thing.

bayliss

I actually haven't taken ativan...I don't like pills in general...but will take it if I HAVE to...or if I am about to have a panic attack. I am trying to just stay as calm as possible...relax...although I have lots to clean. :/
I also don't think the fight with the bf is helping the anxiety either.

I do agree with you that this time around I should see my Doc. In the past he has told me to cut down or just stop drinking and has never mentioned a detox or anything to me...maybe I just didn't ask.
I am also afraid of getting tested. I really do not want to know how badly in shape my liver is. I know that I haven't drank for that long...but I really need to get my butt in gear this time.

Been drinking lots of water today. B vitamins. Milk Thistle.
I might take an ativan later on tonight to help me sleep...but usually I can fall asleep no problem.