Nine44

Hi everyone,
Well I was out drinking Friday night and normally I make an honest effort not to be driving but I have no idea what I was thinking and got nailed. I can only describe the last 2 days as the worst in my life and I don't see any relief in sight. I'm in my mid 20s and have struggled with a drinking problem for several years now that has effected my relationships and school work. I've felt regret over decisions in the past, but never this intense shame and embarassment I'm struggling with now. It's unfortunate I couldn't have found my way to recovery sooner and by different means but I know dwelling on mistakes won't help and I'm trying to focus on any positives. Has anyone else here been in my shoes? When does it start to get better? Any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you for reading.

InsertNameHere

I haven't personaly but I know a lot of people here have had at least one if not 3-5 DUI's. Not that I am saying you shouldn't take the one you got seriously, I am just saying that you are sure to get someone here that will understand your situation. Personaly I am VERY much against drinking and driving having been pretty sure I was going to die multiple times with my mom behind the wheel. So I would say the positive is that you didn't kill someone or yourself, and you have the ability to please learn from this. It only takes one more time for the "worst day of your life" to be the last day of your life or the life of someone else.

Nine44

Rest assured I will never put myself in that situation again. I am very thankful that my reckless behavior didn't cause anyone else to suffer.

langkah

Yeah, and bad shoes they are. Getting popped and feeling bad and dealing with that crap and trying to appear properly remorseful then getting popped again...wash and repeat.

Goes with the drinking for some of us, and continues for as long as we drink.

In other words, stop or expect more and worse grief. I couldn't stand the trouble by age 28 and being periodically on the hot seat and unable to function normally for long got way old.

You've probably made some trial runs at AA like I did for 6 years. Might be time to get serious. After doing the stuff that works I've not drank or drugged or piled on any new drinking crap.

You might be ready for some smooth water too. Another week + will be 30 years for me. Found that staying sober requires next to nothing effort-wise compared to drinking.

If not, then look for more of what you don't want as part of your life. That's not going to end just because you want it to stop. Sure you didn't want this one either.

ovrock

Best of luck mate

eJoshua

I'm assuming nailed means DUI?

When I got sober I hadn't gotten a DUI, yet, but I can tell you that much of the guilt and shame you have now can be improved if you were to make a decision to get sober for good and stick with it.

Welcome to SR, stick around and read some stories, you'll learn a lot of stuff here.

InsertNameHere

Glad to hear.

keithj

I've been in your shoes. Unfortunately, a number of times. By the time I started to experience the natural legal consequences, my alcoholism had progressed to the point where 'wake up calls' were a delusion. Every time I experienced one of those events that should have been a wake up call to recovery, I got scared into staying sober for a little while, and then returned to drinking exactly as I had done before.

Things got better when I took AA's 12 Steps and recovered.

Spawn

LDT

Been there, done that.....and it was horrible! Unfortunately that was not the turning point for me. I had to go on to create and endure much more havoc, shame and guilt before I finally turned my life around. Logically, and in my sober mind I am totally against drinking and driving. Who really isn't?....but as you know, alcohol is a strange bed fellow.....Nine, you are so young...... learn from this. Use this experience. After you get sober, maybe you could be a role model for others that are struggling.

2granddaughters

It started getting better for me when I joined AA and committed to the program.

I stood where you are in 1989. (Actually I stood where you are in 1960 but continued to drink until 1989. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THAT... neither does my wife and son)

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

jobei

Good thing you didn't hurt anyone or yourself with your car! I would count that as a blessing if I was you! Also-- now you can see the error of your ways and that can be a strong motivator to stop drinking! Making a plan about how to stop drinking is a good idea in my opinion... try to include other people (Loved ones, Doctors, AA, SR etc etc) as much as you can. I've found that letting people know what I'm going through helps a lot!

Nine44

Thank you everyone for your feedback. It helps just hearing that others have been where I am. I was considering AA and located the classes but wasn't sure I needed it. Based on everything I've read on this forum, it won't do anything but help. Plus, even though just the thought of a drink makes me upset, that feeling will surely pass and I need to be sure my life is rid of it.

flutter

I still get pretty anxious and upset when I think of a lot of the things I did when I was actively drinking. All I can do now is life my life in such a way that prevents anything like that from ever happening again.