Eliasson

I have 5 days sober this time, before this slip I had 7 months. I've had to be really honest with my drinking friends, who have always been drinking in my house with my husband while I'm trying to stay sober, and tell them I can't do it that way anymore or basically I will die. I've asked them to please include me in activities that don't involve drinking, but the problem is, there just aren't any. They drink all the time, like I used to. So now I barely hear from them, I'm losing them, and I miss them. They've been my best friends for so long. What do I do? Even my husband is a drinker, as most of you know. I feel pretty alone. Thanks for letting me vent.

Anna

I know it's hard that we have to make so many changes when we are in recovery.

Maybe it's time to try to find some new friends. I started doing some volunteer work in early recovery and I met some of the greatest people ever.

awuh1

You mentioned before that you had “issues with AA”. Perhaps if these were resolved you might be able to get involved with a group of sober folks. Any chance of that?

janiebluebird

This has been my biggest problem in recovery, also. I made it a little over a month before relapsing 10 days ago, and now I am back on the wagon. I missed my friends and it saddens me to think that I have to leave them behind and/or not be involved in so many activities because most of them include drinking. I am trying to figure out how I am going to go about finding new friends. I have been wanting to start AA meetings but I freeze up when I get near them and don't go in. I'm not sure where else to meet friends who don't drink, and I also have time restraints as I work and I go to school. I'm not sure that I can squeeze in volunteer work when I could be making money. I hope that I can suck it up and go to a meeting, though, I think that is going to be the best bet for both of us to find sober friends.

2granddaughters

Pretty well all my friends are AA folks now.
It takes a while to change as Anna said, there is a grieving time for our old lives but soon we embrace our new sober lives and friends.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

I had a whole group of friends too - not all of them were drinkers like me - but they all liked to drink...I think I made them uncomfortable not drinking....whatever the cause the calls stopped coming...

I knew I was doing what was best for me...I spent 40 years of my life trying to make myself fit in, often to my detriment - I decided: no more.

I resolved to look for friends who better reflected the person I was becoming.

Anna makes some great suggestions that worked for me too

D

Amy2011

I found out early on social situations were very difficult for me. I decided I would rather be sober at home then drunk with my friends. We have to make difficult choices in early recovery. I knew I could not get sober if my social life stayed in full swing. After a year I accept that I made the choice to get sober and had to change how I was living my life. Personally, I would rather not hang out with people who are drinking anyway. I found other things to do besides drink and hanging out with my friends such as : AA, couponing, hanging out with my kids, reading, and going back to school. Hang in there it will get easier, but it takes time.

eJoshua

I miss a lot of my old friends too, but I had to get away from them for my own sanity. There's no easy solution, especially if these are friends you have had for a long time. For me, I couldn't deal with the stress of having drinking friends around any more. A bunch of my friends lost interest in me once they found out I was serious about my sobriety, too.

No solutions for you though, there's no quick fix to making friends. AA is a good place for a lot of people to start though. Personally, I'm working on getting more plugged in and involved at my church. We'll see how it goes.