melissa86

I quit drinking nearly a month ago (very heavy drinker I was aswell) and last friday I decided to quit smoking, mainly because I can't afford to keep smoking like a chimney....... and health ofcourse!
This is my 4th attempt to quit smoking and I have found it incredibly easy compared to previous times. For 1 alcohol was a huge trigger to smoke, well that's gone now and also my cravings for cigs have been amazingly minor. Very brief.
I am confused however as since I have quit drinking I have broke out in real bad excema on my face and since last friday quitting smoking its got even worse! Typical I was expecting the opposite to happen. So I am currently sat with my face plastered in bright white paint like cream actually enjoying another night sober and also another night smoke free.
I hope this feeling lasts! The first time I am happy and content with not having a drink....or a cig!

melissa86

I think I've posted this in wrong place... Oops!

IndaMiricale

Your are in the right place

I am glad to hear about you quitting and being content already. But be careful dont let yourself get to comfortable so early.

Keep posting.

melissa86

Yes this Is what I'm worried about!! I heard somewhere I think I stumbled across it on an addiction site different to this that many people go through what they call 'a pink cloud'? I'm not even sure now if that was the term for it, but basically it was saying people recovering from addiction feel this sense of euphoria, contentment etc. This is a vague despcription as this was a while ago and I can't quite remember what the 'pink cloud' entailed. But anyway I am worried I'm going through the pink cloud phase! That's even if that was the term of name for it lol.
Goodness its times like this when I'm trying my hardest to remember something that I realise how much I frazzled my brain with all that drink!!! maybe someone out there knows what I'm waffling on about X

sugarbear1

First, the eczema is probably toxins leaving your body. You are healing!

Second, the pink cloud is a feeling of euphoria many recovering alcoholics feel when they are alcohol free and maybe feeling proud of their accomplishment. Mine never truly left as I worked the steps rather early (days 14 & 15) in my recovery and the contentment is still with me. Sometimes that "pink cloud" of euphoria gets real big and when a person's feelings change (as they do in recovery) it's a big blow and the pink cloud can become real dark again.

Relax. Just stay stopped and work whatever recovery program you are doing!

Peace,

melissa86

Hmm well now I am confused. After a quick look I've found that there is a pink cloud indeed and I didn't just dream that up! And also some people are positive about and other people are negative about it. Seems like different meanings for pink cloud aswell. I know when I first came across this pink cloud that it meant your feeling good and content and that's bad because its easy to relapse at this point because you forget why you gave up in first place.
I hope this isn't happening to me... Even though I'm feeling more happy and less cravings, content etc with each sober day that passes I still remember why I gave up, how bad my addiction is, how I surely cannot pick up another drink again or I'll end up back at square one and all my hard work this month and emotions and cravings I've worked through will all be ruined if I was to drink again.
I don't know now wether to enjoy this feeling of no cravings for drink or to be scared of it!

sugarbear1

Are you working a program of recovery? This can make a difference!

melissa86

Thanks sugarbear I didn't see your post there until I posted my last (panicky) post! Well you've reassured me hopefully I am just blumin well pleased with myself and its out weighing any craving for drink!
I will go to sleep now a lot calmer about this.. And probly dream about 'pink clouds'! X oh and that's another thing I can sleep again finally! X

melissa86

No I have no recovery program, I just woke up one morning and decided I've got to stop now! I wasn't hungover that morning either so its not like it was because I felt sick and ill.
You know the famous hangover words 'I'm never drinking again!' Well it wasn't like that. I just thought enoughs enough now, you got to stop. And so I did just that. First week was tough! I have no idea how I got through that first week. But I did somehow and been fine ever since that 1st week was over.
I've had cravings real bad in the beginning but they seem to have gone now. And I just don't want a drink no more because I'll end up back at square 1. I've always known I was an alcoholic but always been to scared to stop. But I'm not scared anymore, also had really stressful day today, before I'd be like drink!!! I need a drink!! But today I thought breathe I need to breathe!!! X

Dee74

I think it's fine to enjoy that feeling melissa - as long as you stay firm on the idea that you can never go back again...you're a non smoker and non drinker now - and it's better!

D

melissa86

Thankyou dee, I'm absolutely never going to drink again there is no way I'm going through all that again ever. No way. And I'm not bothered about never having 1 either, before I was grieving I could never drink again, like grieving the death of a loved one if that makes sense.
Now I just don't care that I can't have one, it doesn't bother me. And that's what I'm loving right now that feeling right there of not caring for drink no more. X. Its making my life easier to live anyway so much easier now them annoying cravings have gone! X

Hevyn

Hi melissa. Thanks for an uplifting post. It's wonderful to hear how good you're feeling. (I personally never had the pink cloud thing - so can't add anything.)

It's hard to not fall back on our old ways when we're stressed. Glad to see you didn't cave, even though you had a challenging day. Maybe you're realizing having a drink never really solves anything. You're growing stronger every day - very proud of you.

melissa86

Thankyou hevyn for your kind words, makes me feel so good, especially as I have no praise from my family as they refuse to accept I have a drink problem! They just think I enjoy a drink and I say to them I'm an alcoholic!!! And all I get is 'no you're not you don't drink in the mornings' I love my family to bits I really do but they are so much in denial about my drink problem, atleast I'm not though. My grandma is the worse out of all of them, bless her, she won't hear of it, even though I'm brutally honest with her. She'll offer me a drink when I go to visit,usually a beer, and I'll say no I don't want one and she's like ' it won't hurt you have a beer!' Argh!! I tell her if I have 1 beer here I can guarentee I will go to the shop on my way home, buy bottles and bottles of wine, go home and drink my self into oblivian! To which she replies 'don't be so dramatic melissa, I have to see the funny side of it or I'd go mad.
So its nice to have people say I'm doing good and they are proud.
My family are so drink orientated, they aren't alcoholics like me but they have a drink when we all go visit grandma.but they'll stop at a couple round grandmas, I'll go home and carry on drinking where as they'll go home and get on with what they got to do. There's the difference between me and them.
Anyway I go prepared to grandmas with a box of fruit tea lol. X

instant

Melissa when I quit 10 months ago my emotions were unstable for about six months on and off. I did have panic like periods, short periods of euphoria etc, my sleep was all over the place as well. Things settled down but I still feel sobriety has released me from my prison.

What has replaced the above experiences is being more in-tune with my sensory experience. I feel "in the world more". I think I am still noticing changes because I still find my mind dwells on my 'recovery' etc and I think this will change in time.

BillyPilgrim

Melissa you are doing great, you are right to be happy and optimistic. Being sober is so much better than being drunk. You also realise that you have to be careful around triggers in your life. I am lucky as I avoid social gatherings where drink is involved. However, I do know that I have to be on guard all the time, so living a sober life positively helps me. This means I am aware all the time that I am a non drinker. I tell people where necessary that I have a problem, but the big shock for me is that people arent bothered if I dont want a drink. I thought it was everyones motiviation, it was just me!!

melissa86

Instant I am so glad to hear you feel more settled and 10 months sober that's great!!! I can't wait to say I'm 10 months sober. You're doing so well.
Its just so crazy how alcohol can ruin everything. 1 drink and everything comes crashing down.
I have felt panic over the last month, and now I'm feeling content that made me panic because I had heard of this pink cloud thing.
Well done instant I love hearing peoples stories of how they felt, how they feel now and coping methods etc. You are amazing, seriously I know how hard it is X

melissa86

Billypilgrim you are lucky you can avoid situations where drink is involved, I can't avoid my grandma lol, I care for her aswell as she is quite poorly so she always trying to give me bottles of wine as presents! Doesn't matter how much I tell her or how firm I am! She'll shove em in my bag! I actually sneak round her neighbours house on way home and give her the bottle of wine or whatever as I couldn't bring it home with me, no way!
Sober is better than being drunk! The amount of times I have woke up where I have fell down the stairs, finding bruises all over me that I can't remember how I done it. Also broken ribs from falling. what a state I'd get myself into I'm so embarrassed. I lived on my own then and in a way I'm glad because I don't think anybody deserved to have to put up with me like that!!
Just the sheer embarrasment of how I must have been when I was so drunk falling everywhere makes me feel so sick. sick enough to turn me tee total!!! X