Question about addicts.....What have you learned?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: mission viejo, ca
Posts: 134
Question about addicts.....What have you learned?
What is your piece of advice to pass down?
I have been reading a lot of post lately on this site and I am amazed on all the really great advice people have on everything from how to leave your addict, how to live with your addict, how to understand your addict and how to get over you addict.
Out of all the advice from just living with your situation and reading all the forms, what is the biggest lesions you have learned the most or words of wisdom do you have for people going through all this?
I have been reading a lot of post lately on this site and I am amazed on all the really great advice people have on everything from how to leave your addict, how to live with your addict, how to understand your addict and how to get over you addict.
Out of all the advice from just living with your situation and reading all the forms, what is the biggest lesions you have learned the most or words of wisdom do you have for people going through all this?
The biggest thing I learned had nothing to do with my AW, it had to do with me.
That was, I don't need anyone else to complete me, to make me whole or anything else. I have learned to love me, to respect me and to take care of me.
Your friend,
That was, I don't need anyone else to complete me, to make me whole or anything else. I have learned to love me, to respect me and to take care of me.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
- Addiction expands into the tolerance that surrounds it.
- Addiction is a black hole that consumes all of a family's financial and emotional resources, and then still demands more.
- Addicted people will maintain their addiction until they can no longer get away with it, down to the wire.
— From a PhD (Phormer Drunk)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 25
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: SERENITY
Posts: 58
Ive learn all of this:
Cant play the piano (me) when the lid is down.
I'm responsible for my own life.
Detachment is not detaching from the person whom we care about, but the agony of involvement.
Whose problem is it?
This is my life, is this where I want to be?
I was more alone with the alcoholic, than when I am without him.
Dont expect anything more out of the alcoholic than he is capable of, and he is not capable of anything.
Learning to forgive and let go or it will eat me up inside.
My sponsor told me to "Give the alcoholic the dignity to go to hell if they chose to and that is the only place they will go if they continue to drink. Alcoholism can take you places (hell) that you would never dream you'd go"
Cant play the piano (me) when the lid is down.
I'm responsible for my own life.
Detachment is not detaching from the person whom we care about, but the agony of involvement.
Whose problem is it?
This is my life, is this where I want to be?
I was more alone with the alcoholic, than when I am without him.
Dont expect anything more out of the alcoholic than he is capable of, and he is not capable of anything.
Learning to forgive and let go or it will eat me up inside.
My sponsor told me to "Give the alcoholic the dignity to go to hell if they chose to and that is the only place they will go if they continue to drink. Alcoholism can take you places (hell) that you would never dream you'd go"
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 16
The biggest thing I learned was about myself, and not about the addict. I learned that I've spent my life looking to others for happiness by seeking their neverending adoration and love. It wasn't until that got me in a relationship with someone who could never offer it that I learned I will be much happier if I stop thinking I need it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 146
I'll third the response on expect lies.
I learned to believe the actions and not the promises, apologies, and excuses.
When they say you are too good for them and that they don't deserve you -BELIEVE THEM!- it may be the only time they're telling the truth.
I also learned: That I had an addiction to damaged men
That I confused compassion and pity for real and healthy love
That I will run like hell if a man ever tells me he ever had a
long term addiction to anything.
I learned to believe the actions and not the promises, apologies, and excuses.
When they say you are too good for them and that they don't deserve you -BELIEVE THEM!- it may be the only time they're telling the truth.
I also learned: That I had an addiction to damaged men
That I confused compassion and pity for real and healthy love
That I will run like hell if a man ever tells me he ever had a
long term addiction to anything.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)