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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 3
Hello
Hi! Im new to this forum page, and I am glad that i found this page.
In my immediate family, nobody has mental illness, but i have a cousin who is suffering from depression. His father (my uncle) abandoned him and his 2 older brothers when they were very young, and my aunt did everything she could for their sake. He has suffered since then and recovered during his early 20s, but his depression came back after his 3rd child was born. I really feel helpless because i wanted to be able to change him, but i know that it's impossible, otherwise nobody would have MI at all.
i am currently employed in a mental b/c and one of our residents was assaulted by his neighbor on his head when he was 8, and that triggered his schizoaffective d/o, and also because he came from a broken family, so that added to it. he is now 30 yrs old.
i am in a complicated situation, and i am glad that i found this forum page. one of the residents at the board and care where i work at likes me. he's been asking me out on a date, giving me nice things and is really a funny and charming guy. the thing is, he is the resident i was talking about. and i hate to admit it, but i think im falling for him too. whenever we talk, he would crack jokes, and whenever i ask him serious questions, he seems to be sound in mind and will tell me the answers im expecting. he told me that he sees himself on his own in 5 months from now, with a job and married to me haha...i really wish i can tell him to move out so i wont get into trouble at my job, or change the situation i am in. im also glad that im not the only one who is involved with someone who has a mental disorder. gladly, he never had a history of violent behaviour towards anyone, esp women that he dated, so i guess i'll be safe if i choose to give him a chance. on the other end, if i say no, im afraid that will trigger an episode, and im afraid that he will turn against me and complain to my boss.
i may be criticized by this post, but that's why i did it, i need advices and helpful tips on how to handle my situation. thank you all very much!!
In my immediate family, nobody has mental illness, but i have a cousin who is suffering from depression. His father (my uncle) abandoned him and his 2 older brothers when they were very young, and my aunt did everything she could for their sake. He has suffered since then and recovered during his early 20s, but his depression came back after his 3rd child was born. I really feel helpless because i wanted to be able to change him, but i know that it's impossible, otherwise nobody would have MI at all.
i am currently employed in a mental b/c and one of our residents was assaulted by his neighbor on his head when he was 8, and that triggered his schizoaffective d/o, and also because he came from a broken family, so that added to it. he is now 30 yrs old.
i am in a complicated situation, and i am glad that i found this forum page. one of the residents at the board and care where i work at likes me. he's been asking me out on a date, giving me nice things and is really a funny and charming guy. the thing is, he is the resident i was talking about. and i hate to admit it, but i think im falling for him too. whenever we talk, he would crack jokes, and whenever i ask him serious questions, he seems to be sound in mind and will tell me the answers im expecting. he told me that he sees himself on his own in 5 months from now, with a job and married to me haha...i really wish i can tell him to move out so i wont get into trouble at my job, or change the situation i am in. im also glad that im not the only one who is involved with someone who has a mental disorder. gladly, he never had a history of violent behaviour towards anyone, esp women that he dated, so i guess i'll be safe if i choose to give him a chance. on the other end, if i say no, im afraid that will trigger an episode, and im afraid that he will turn against me and complain to my boss.
i may be criticized by this post, but that's why i did it, i need advices and helpful tips on how to handle my situation. thank you all very much!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi inlovewithkb - welcome 
I'm not a relationships expert by any means, and I'm not familiar with board and care - are the reisdents there on a voluntary basis?
I think, if you think this is love, then nothing will stop you anyway
on the other hand if this is something less than that, you probably need to weigh up all the pragmatic factors like how will this impact on your job, whats it's going to be like to see this guy everyday, especially if things don't work out etc...
I wish you well with whatever you decide
D
I'm not a relationships expert by any means, and I'm not familiar with board and care - are the reisdents there on a voluntary basis?
I think, if you think this is love, then nothing will stop you anyway
on the other hand if this is something less than that, you probably need to weigh up all the pragmatic factors like how will this impact on your job, whats it's going to be like to see this guy everyday, especially if things don't work out etc...
I wish you well with whatever you decide
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 3
thanks for the reply...
a board and care has levels; we are a level 1 care which means we are licensed to have residents from 18-59 yrs old, with mild mental illness; they are considered mentally ill but harmless to anyone around them, and our license specifies that they should be ambulatory. they are also there because their own families have no time or place for them; consider it a nursing home, but they are independent, that's why they don't have a personal lvn or caregivers.
the guy i talked about has schizo affective, i think it's under the bipolar category. correct me if im wrong, im still kind of confused. honestly, we went to a coffee shop last night and talked about what he sees himself in a few months from now. he has been adamant about moving out on his own, have a job. ive read his history and he's had decent jobs in the past, had his own place and has been compliant with his meds since the beginning of his diagnosis. when i listened to him talking, he sounds so normal. i have yet to see him having episodes, and since he has been compliant, i hope that it continues like that.
re my situation, i really wish i can tell him to move out now haha, but the decision will rely on him. i told him to prove himself to his mom and his social worker that he can be independent and be out of conservatorship. we've been discreet, we act normal when im there. the boss knows that i am close to him only because i told her we are the same age, so we relate to each other. ugh! if only i can change the whole situation right now... i guess he was right about what he said: he was sent there by God to meet me. OMG i hate it when my heart wins...
thanks very much for all your advices. God bless y'all
a board and care has levels; we are a level 1 care which means we are licensed to have residents from 18-59 yrs old, with mild mental illness; they are considered mentally ill but harmless to anyone around them, and our license specifies that they should be ambulatory. they are also there because their own families have no time or place for them; consider it a nursing home, but they are independent, that's why they don't have a personal lvn or caregivers.
the guy i talked about has schizo affective, i think it's under the bipolar category. correct me if im wrong, im still kind of confused. honestly, we went to a coffee shop last night and talked about what he sees himself in a few months from now. he has been adamant about moving out on his own, have a job. ive read his history and he's had decent jobs in the past, had his own place and has been compliant with his meds since the beginning of his diagnosis. when i listened to him talking, he sounds so normal. i have yet to see him having episodes, and since he has been compliant, i hope that it continues like that.
re my situation, i really wish i can tell him to move out now haha, but the decision will rely on him. i told him to prove himself to his mom and his social worker that he can be independent and be out of conservatorship. we've been discreet, we act normal when im there. the boss knows that i am close to him only because i told her we are the same age, so we relate to each other. ugh! if only i can change the whole situation right now... i guess he was right about what he said: he was sent there by God to meet me. OMG i hate it when my heart wins...
thanks very much for all your advices. God bless y'all
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