Not sure if I have a problem or just think I do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3
Not sure if I have a problem or just think I do.
So, I've felt embarrassed over my drinking lately, but I'm not sure it's a legit problem... Wondering if I could get anyone's 2 cents on this:
So, I'm 25 and am in my first year of law school, I'm an honor student near the top of my class at a prestigious school; no criminal record, no DUIs, no alcohol related health or legal issues. I've never been told I've had a drinking problem by a professional and I've never had it affect my work (Well, one time I had to leave work early due to a hangover setting in, but that was a party with friends). I've never gone to work or class drunk or any of the other real identifiers of alcoholism.
However, since I turned 21 (didn't really drink before that because it was just too much of a hassle to acquire) I really haven't gone more than a week without drinking. I'm not sure if this is me merely being in my early 20s or if it's an indicator of something more insidious. I drank quite often in college, like any other college student, except I didn't party like everyone else. I'd sit down with a six pack or more and hang out online or watch TV, etc. finish off the drinks and head to bed; I would do this like a couple times a week or so.
After I graduated, I moved back in with my dad who died shortly thereafter and that's when my drinking actually picked up steam. For 4 months after that I would get drunk or smoke pot (Have never done anything more devious than those two nor do I ever plan to) 4-5 nights a week. Eventually it tapered down and I got engaged to my longtime gf, we moved in and things were good. I still drank about 2 times a week, getting drunk maybe every 3 or 4 times drinking, so maybe 2-3 times a month of heavy drinking.
After a year of mild/moderate social drinking, I went to law school 5 hours away from my fiancee as she finished up her Masters, so I live alone now. I failed pretty hard at integrating and making friends here, so after I get all of my work out of the way, I usually have WAY too much free time and spend a lot of time alone. Which turned into me drinking heavily about 4 nights a week. I saw my tolerance grow considerably in this time, I used to be quite gone with a six pack but now I can drink 12 or more (I'm 5'8", 165lbs btw) and still be pretty capable. It's been pretty regular and I've felt really embarrassed about how much I drink; especially when I finished a 5L box of wine in 2 nights. I know in comparison to a lot of others on here, this is nothing, but I feel guilty.
The hard part is that I actually ENJOY drinking, it makes life interesting and helps me cope with depression. It's never obstructed my work in law school and I'm not hung over too terribly often. I'm not sure if this is simple self-medicating for depression or me entertaining myself, or if it's the beginning stages of a serious issue. When I do drink, I drink to excess quite often; it is my intention to get quite wobbly on my feet and slur words, however most all of the time is spent by myself playing video games or browsing Reddit or some such. It has not affected any of my relationships other than possibly hindering me making new ones (But I think that's more depression than drinking).
Because of my mounting worry and diminishing funds, I've decided to cut drinking out for a while until I can integrate it back in with moderation; but since I've done so, I spend most nights bored out of my mind and really wanting to drink to make things more lively and interesting. It's like life has this dull pallor and booze makes it technicolor. It's such an insurmountable desire to drink, like today I got in my car to run to the liquor store, but talked myself out of it a few blocks from my place and turned around. My mind and focus has also been muddy since I've slowed my drinking, not sure if that's related or if it's the Depression coupled with law school stress. Can anyone who has been in this situation help me out and give me pointers? Is this growing addiction or self-medication? I enjoy drinking and it's so ingrained in the legal culture it just seems unrealistic for me to not drink at all, but I just can't stop at 2 drinks, especially with such a high tolerance.
TL;DR Version: I enjoy drinking to cope with Depression, it makes me feel good, but I do it far too much and too often, and my tolerance is getting frightening. It's never affected my productivity or relationships and I remain quite successful. When trying to stop drinking, I want to and it pervades my thoughts. Is this merely me being lonely in my 20s or a sign of legitimate growing dependency?
Thanks everyone!
So, I'm 25 and am in my first year of law school, I'm an honor student near the top of my class at a prestigious school; no criminal record, no DUIs, no alcohol related health or legal issues. I've never been told I've had a drinking problem by a professional and I've never had it affect my work (Well, one time I had to leave work early due to a hangover setting in, but that was a party with friends). I've never gone to work or class drunk or any of the other real identifiers of alcoholism.
However, since I turned 21 (didn't really drink before that because it was just too much of a hassle to acquire) I really haven't gone more than a week without drinking. I'm not sure if this is me merely being in my early 20s or if it's an indicator of something more insidious. I drank quite often in college, like any other college student, except I didn't party like everyone else. I'd sit down with a six pack or more and hang out online or watch TV, etc. finish off the drinks and head to bed; I would do this like a couple times a week or so.
After I graduated, I moved back in with my dad who died shortly thereafter and that's when my drinking actually picked up steam. For 4 months after that I would get drunk or smoke pot (Have never done anything more devious than those two nor do I ever plan to) 4-5 nights a week. Eventually it tapered down and I got engaged to my longtime gf, we moved in and things were good. I still drank about 2 times a week, getting drunk maybe every 3 or 4 times drinking, so maybe 2-3 times a month of heavy drinking.
After a year of mild/moderate social drinking, I went to law school 5 hours away from my fiancee as she finished up her Masters, so I live alone now. I failed pretty hard at integrating and making friends here, so after I get all of my work out of the way, I usually have WAY too much free time and spend a lot of time alone. Which turned into me drinking heavily about 4 nights a week. I saw my tolerance grow considerably in this time, I used to be quite gone with a six pack but now I can drink 12 or more (I'm 5'8", 165lbs btw) and still be pretty capable. It's been pretty regular and I've felt really embarrassed about how much I drink; especially when I finished a 5L box of wine in 2 nights. I know in comparison to a lot of others on here, this is nothing, but I feel guilty.
The hard part is that I actually ENJOY drinking, it makes life interesting and helps me cope with depression. It's never obstructed my work in law school and I'm not hung over too terribly often. I'm not sure if this is simple self-medicating for depression or me entertaining myself, or if it's the beginning stages of a serious issue. When I do drink, I drink to excess quite often; it is my intention to get quite wobbly on my feet and slur words, however most all of the time is spent by myself playing video games or browsing Reddit or some such. It has not affected any of my relationships other than possibly hindering me making new ones (But I think that's more depression than drinking).
Because of my mounting worry and diminishing funds, I've decided to cut drinking out for a while until I can integrate it back in with moderation; but since I've done so, I spend most nights bored out of my mind and really wanting to drink to make things more lively and interesting. It's like life has this dull pallor and booze makes it technicolor. It's such an insurmountable desire to drink, like today I got in my car to run to the liquor store, but talked myself out of it a few blocks from my place and turned around. My mind and focus has also been muddy since I've slowed my drinking, not sure if that's related or if it's the Depression coupled with law school stress. Can anyone who has been in this situation help me out and give me pointers? Is this growing addiction or self-medication? I enjoy drinking and it's so ingrained in the legal culture it just seems unrealistic for me to not drink at all, but I just can't stop at 2 drinks, especially with such a high tolerance.
TL;DR Version: I enjoy drinking to cope with Depression, it makes me feel good, but I do it far too much and too often, and my tolerance is getting frightening. It's never affected my productivity or relationships and I remain quite successful. When trying to stop drinking, I want to and it pervades my thoughts. Is this merely me being lonely in my 20s or a sign of legitimate growing dependency?
Thanks everyone!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by ResIpsa 
Is this merely me being lonely in my 20s or a sign of legitimate growing dependency?
Thanks everyone!
Thanks everyone!
I hope you read some of the threads here and try to identify (not compare).
Wishing you the best and saying "Welcome" !!
Bob R
trying to find a balance
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 57
It sounds to me that you are concerned that your drinking has become a problem. If you feel that it is out of control, too much, it scares you, its impacting your life, then I would agree with you. We were all 21 once and for most its a fleeting few months of party’s and then you mellow out in to a "normal drinker". Then there are all of us who don’t really now what that means...polishing off a couple gallons of wine in a two night period is not what the "normal drinker" would do.
Your life should be worth living with out the booze. Maybe some counseling to deal with losing dad, a college sport or club to help integrated in to the community, and Skype with your fiancé to help fill some down time. There is more to life then drinking and there is more to feeling then being drunk.
Your life should be worth living with out the booze. Maybe some counseling to deal with losing dad, a college sport or club to help integrated in to the community, and Skype with your fiancé to help fill some down time. There is more to life then drinking and there is more to feeling then being drunk.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hi ResIpsa. Glad you posted & asked the question. Wish I had done that when I was your age. I drank in much the same way - but never really tried to stop until my life was in chaos.
What concerns me is your admission that, "I just can't stop at 2 drinks". I never could either, and would have thought it was ridiculous to try. I sought oblivion and numbness. Otherwise, why bother? Normal drinkers don't think that way. I'm concerned that you've already become too dependent on it for entertainment and relief from stress. I'm glad you're taking a cold, hard look at what your heavy drinking is doing to you. Keep reading & posting here - we care about you & want to help you sort this out.
What concerns me is your admission that, "I just can't stop at 2 drinks". I never could either, and would have thought it was ridiculous to try. I sought oblivion and numbness. Otherwise, why bother? Normal drinkers don't think that way. I'm concerned that you've already become too dependent on it for entertainment and relief from stress. I'm glad you're taking a cold, hard look at what your heavy drinking is doing to you. Keep reading & posting here - we care about you & want to help you sort this out.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
Welcome to SR!
I was you when I was 25.
I was in graduate school, doing very well academically, but drinking alone a few nights a week for whatever reason, stress, boredom, a break from the pressure of school, whatever . . .
Now I'm over 50, sober, but an alcoholic who attends AA. I'm still a professional and doing well career wise, but the drinking behavior at 25 gradually progressed. At 30, 35, 40, 45 my drinking got a little bit worse every year, and my ability to recover from drinking also got a little bit worse every year. Eventually, I crashed and burned.
At 25 I knew my drinking behavior was different than other people, but it took me another 2 decades to actually admit it to myself.
I was you when I was 25.
I was in graduate school, doing very well academically, but drinking alone a few nights a week for whatever reason, stress, boredom, a break from the pressure of school, whatever . . .
Now I'm over 50, sober, but an alcoholic who attends AA. I'm still a professional and doing well career wise, but the drinking behavior at 25 gradually progressed. At 30, 35, 40, 45 my drinking got a little bit worse every year, and my ability to recover from drinking also got a little bit worse every year. Eventually, I crashed and burned.
At 25 I knew my drinking behavior was different than other people, but it took me another 2 decades to actually admit it to myself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
Welcome to SR!
I was you when I was 25.
I was in graduate school, doing very well academically, but drinking alone a few nights a week for whatever reason, stress, boredom, a break from the pressure of school, whatever . . .
Now I'm over 50, sober, but an alcoholic who attends AA. I'm still a professional and doing well career wise, but the drinking behavior at 25 gradually progressed. At 30, 35, 40, 45 my drinking got a little bit worse every year, and my ability to recover from drinking also got a little bit worse every year. Eventually, I crashed and burned.
At 25 I knew my drinking behavior was different than other people, but it took me another 2 decades to actually admit it to myself.
I was you when I was 25.
I was in graduate school, doing very well academically, but drinking alone a few nights a week for whatever reason, stress, boredom, a break from the pressure of school, whatever . . .
Now I'm over 50, sober, but an alcoholic who attends AA. I'm still a professional and doing well career wise, but the drinking behavior at 25 gradually progressed. At 30, 35, 40, 45 my drinking got a little bit worse every year, and my ability to recover from drinking also got a little bit worse every year. Eventually, I crashed and burned.
At 25 I knew my drinking behavior was different than other people, but it took me another 2 decades to actually admit it to myself.
But it's also a different story when I'm with my fiancee; she came to visit not too long ago and I think I had two beers the entire 10 days I was with her and didn't think anything of it... So, I'm not sure if it's a situational issue or something within me.
Thanks you guys for the kind words.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Also, if you're in school can you see a councellor or therapist regarding your depression? I'm bipolar and am finally on the proper mix of medications that help me deal with my condition. It took some time and trial and error but when you get the right help (therapy and chemically if needed) it makes a huge difference.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
My drinking got out of hand when i started drinking alone because it was no longer for pleasure but to dull the pain i felt being in my own head. Never being happy being by myself. Bored, sad and lonely. In the short time that i've sobered up, i'm learning that being alone during the day isn't so bad. I can read, go for a walk, do light cleaning, catch up on a show, bum around online, color (i know, what am i? In third grade? Lol!), journal...any number of things. There is a lot more to being alone than the fog of alcohol. You just have to look a little harder for it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 176
hey..... wanted to share with you that also a very successful student, managed to maintain a perfect GPA for the past 2 years while drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a week, but like you my tolerance went up and i felt like I needed more to feel the effects. he ey thing to know here is that alcoholism is a progressive disease.... thats why you need to knock it on the head now. When I first found this site, I was convinced that I had to hit some kind of rock bottom to discover that I have a problem. But thats not true....(it could be though if I continue to drink the way I was) i was never a morning drinker and i didn't do it everyday, so I thought I didn't have a problem because I was comparing my story to others but I finally realized that nothing good is going to become of the way I was drinking alcohol so I decided to quit now before I do get that DUI or loose my husband,house,car,dog etc. I know that when I first joined this site I was looking for people with similar stories to mine, i was suprised how many people I found on here that share my story. I am in the right place. I am 3 weeks sober today. Hope you take advantage of this site 
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I agree that not being able to stop at 1-2 drinks is a concern. The fact that you drink to self-medicate depression is another. It sounds like drinking isn't even enjoyable anymore, but something you HAVE to do. That's another concern.
While we can't tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic, it would seem that you definitely have a problem with alcohol. You might read this chapter out of the AA Big Book, which describes the alcoholic (not pushing AA on you but this does describe the alcoholic and alcoholic thinking pretty accurately).
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf
A good indication of whether you have a problem is to just stop and see how you feel. I was going to suggest that you do an "experiment" of getting some booze and having just 1 or 2 and then stopping there and seeing if you can do it ... but you've already said that you can't. So try stopping completely ... and go from there. Pay attention to your feelings (anxiety, depression, panic, obsessive thoughts about drinking) and to how your body reacts (sweats, tremors, confused thinking, nausea, etc.) How you feel will be a good indicator of just how big of a problem you have.
We are here for support if you need us. Glad you're here and that you asked the questions you did ... hopefully you are well on your way toward getting this thing out of your life.
While we can't tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic, it would seem that you definitely have a problem with alcohol. You might read this chapter out of the AA Big Book, which describes the alcoholic (not pushing AA on you but this does describe the alcoholic and alcoholic thinking pretty accurately).
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf
A good indication of whether you have a problem is to just stop and see how you feel. I was going to suggest that you do an "experiment" of getting some booze and having just 1 or 2 and then stopping there and seeing if you can do it ... but you've already said that you can't. So try stopping completely ... and go from there. Pay attention to your feelings (anxiety, depression, panic, obsessive thoughts about drinking) and to how your body reacts (sweats, tremors, confused thinking, nausea, etc.) How you feel will be a good indicator of just how big of a problem you have.
We are here for support if you need us. Glad you're here and that you asked the questions you did ... hopefully you are well on your way toward getting this thing out of your life.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
ResIpsa, you are so wise to notice your situation at a relatively young age. Many of us wish we had paid more attention in our 20's. You ask if it is a "growing addiction or self medication".....maybe it's both. For me personally, if I have to ask the question, I already know the answer.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 139
I couldn't NOT reply to you because your story is SO similar to mine. There are parts that I totally could have written! So one, I want you to know that you are not alone, and two, I think it says something about who you are (something good) for recognizing that there *could* be a problem.
I am finishing grad school, and gradulate soon. With that, comes A LOT of stress. I also found that I am very lonely. I felt like I just didn't "fit" with most of my classmates, and I have struggled to find my place over the last two years.
I drank alone every night, but only usually two beers. And then more when I would go out, or be with friends. But I would purposely not eat, so that I could feel the effect of the two beers. And dang it, I do ENJOY alcohol! Probably my favorite part of it is that it allows me to be able to shut off my brain! Being in law school, I imagine you are a thinker and debater. And at least for me, those qualities don't just "shut off" when you are out of class. And God forbid I actually FEEL something. So my evenings were my time for ME when I could shut off and relax and not worry about anything, and not be depressed or anxious. I drank in order to get those effects, bottom line.
By the way, I am also fully functioning. I have a job, an internship, full class load, and maintain an almost perfect GPA. Drinking has never effected my relationships, my work/school, never been in trouble with the law, not physically dependent, etc. But this is the conclusions I have come to so far:
Why am I drinking? Answer: to numb out, to not feel, to "cope".
Am I okay with this: NO! I have done some stupid stuff when I've drank, and those things were happening more frequently.
What am I going to do about it: I'm going to stop drinking, and go to AA (even though I don't think I'm an alcoholic).
It could be that you are just self medicating with alcohol. That actually sounds very likely given the reasons you said you drink, and the fact that it sounds like you are depressed and lonely. It could also mean that you are at the beginning stages of progressive alcoholism.
I am fairly certain that if I continue to drink the way I am, I WILL be an alcoholic, and I have too much to lose.
I hope you will find YOUR motivation, and not worry about the am I/ am I not label. But freakin believe me, I know that simply "not worrying about that" is probably the hardest thing ever!
Best of luck to you on finding your own answers.
I am finishing grad school, and gradulate soon. With that, comes A LOT of stress. I also found that I am very lonely. I felt like I just didn't "fit" with most of my classmates, and I have struggled to find my place over the last two years.
I drank alone every night, but only usually two beers. And then more when I would go out, or be with friends. But I would purposely not eat, so that I could feel the effect of the two beers. And dang it, I do ENJOY alcohol! Probably my favorite part of it is that it allows me to be able to shut off my brain! Being in law school, I imagine you are a thinker and debater. And at least for me, those qualities don't just "shut off" when you are out of class. And God forbid I actually FEEL something. So my evenings were my time for ME when I could shut off and relax and not worry about anything, and not be depressed or anxious. I drank in order to get those effects, bottom line.
By the way, I am also fully functioning. I have a job, an internship, full class load, and maintain an almost perfect GPA. Drinking has never effected my relationships, my work/school, never been in trouble with the law, not physically dependent, etc. But this is the conclusions I have come to so far:
Why am I drinking? Answer: to numb out, to not feel, to "cope".
Am I okay with this: NO! I have done some stupid stuff when I've drank, and those things were happening more frequently.
What am I going to do about it: I'm going to stop drinking, and go to AA (even though I don't think I'm an alcoholic).
It could be that you are just self medicating with alcohol. That actually sounds very likely given the reasons you said you drink, and the fact that it sounds like you are depressed and lonely. It could also mean that you are at the beginning stages of progressive alcoholism.
I am fairly certain that if I continue to drink the way I am, I WILL be an alcoholic, and I have too much to lose.
I hope you will find YOUR motivation, and not worry about the am I/ am I not label. But freakin believe me, I know that simply "not worrying about that" is probably the hardest thing ever!
Best of luck to you on finding your own answers.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi and welcome ResIpsa
lots of great advice here already - I'd just add maybe it's best to stop trying to compare yourself to others? Problems are best assessed on their impact individually....I really don't think it's as much about how much you drink or how often, but why you drink, and what happens to you when you do.
If you prefer to drink alone and you have trouble stopping especially in that situation, then yeah, I think you need to look at why that might be...
You'll find a lot of support here
D
lots of great advice here already - I'd just add maybe it's best to stop trying to compare yourself to others? Problems are best assessed on their impact individually....I really don't think it's as much about how much you drink or how often, but why you drink, and what happens to you when you do.
If you prefer to drink alone and you have trouble stopping especially in that situation, then yeah, I think you need to look at why that might be...
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by 12skiptomylue
I couldn't NOT reply to you because your story is SO similar to mine. There are parts that I totally could have written! So one, I want you to know that you are not alone, and two, I think it says something about who you are (something good) for recognizing that there *could* be a problem.
I am finishing grad school, and gradulate soon. With that, comes A LOT of stress. I also found that I am very lonely. I felt like I just didn't "fit" with most of my classmates, and I have struggled to find my place over the last two years.
I drank alone every night, but only usually two beers. And then more when I would go out, or be with friends. But I would purposely not eat, so that I could feel the effect of the two beers. And dang it, I do ENJOY alcohol! Probably my favorite part of it is that it allows me to be able to shut off my brain! Being in law school, I imagine you are a thinker and debater. And at least for me, those qualities don't just "shut off" when you are out of class. And God forbid I actually FEEL something. So my evenings were my time for ME when I could shut off and relax and not worry about anything, and not be depressed or anxious. I drank in order to get those effects, bottom line.
By the way, I am also fully functioning. I have a job, an internship, full class load, and maintain an almost perfect GPA. Drinking has never effected my relationships, my work/school, never been in trouble with the law, not physically dependent, etc. But this is the conclusions I have come to so far:
Why am I drinking? Answer: to numb out, to not feel, to "cope".
Am I okay with this: NO! I have done some stupid stuff when I've drank, and those things were happening more frequently.
What am I going to do about it: I'm going to stop drinking, and go to AA (even though I don't think I'm an alcoholic).
It could be that you are just self medicating with alcohol. That actually sounds very likely given the reasons you said you drink, and the fact that it sounds like you are depressed and lonely. It could also mean that you are at the beginning stages of progressive alcoholism.
I am fairly certain that if I continue to drink the way I am, I WILL be an alcoholic, and I have too much to lose.
I hope you will find YOUR motivation, and not worry about the am I/ am I not label. But freakin believe me, I know that simply "not worrying about that" is probably the hardest thing ever!
Best of luck to you on finding your own answers.
I am finishing grad school, and gradulate soon. With that, comes A LOT of stress. I also found that I am very lonely. I felt like I just didn't "fit" with most of my classmates, and I have struggled to find my place over the last two years.
I drank alone every night, but only usually two beers. And then more when I would go out, or be with friends. But I would purposely not eat, so that I could feel the effect of the two beers. And dang it, I do ENJOY alcohol! Probably my favorite part of it is that it allows me to be able to shut off my brain! Being in law school, I imagine you are a thinker and debater. And at least for me, those qualities don't just "shut off" when you are out of class. And God forbid I actually FEEL something. So my evenings were my time for ME when I could shut off and relax and not worry about anything, and not be depressed or anxious. I drank in order to get those effects, bottom line.
By the way, I am also fully functioning. I have a job, an internship, full class load, and maintain an almost perfect GPA. Drinking has never effected my relationships, my work/school, never been in trouble with the law, not physically dependent, etc. But this is the conclusions I have come to so far:
Why am I drinking? Answer: to numb out, to not feel, to "cope".
Am I okay with this: NO! I have done some stupid stuff when I've drank, and those things were happening more frequently.
What am I going to do about it: I'm going to stop drinking, and go to AA (even though I don't think I'm an alcoholic).
It could be that you are just self medicating with alcohol. That actually sounds very likely given the reasons you said you drink, and the fact that it sounds like you are depressed and lonely. It could also mean that you are at the beginning stages of progressive alcoholism.
I am fairly certain that if I continue to drink the way I am, I WILL be an alcoholic, and I have too much to lose.
I hope you will find YOUR motivation, and not worry about the am I/ am I not label. But freakin believe me, I know that simply "not worrying about that" is probably the hardest thing ever!
Best of luck to you on finding your own answers.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Welcome to SR!
After reading the replies, why don't you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous, the specifically the first 164 pages (the stories are okay, too), then let us know what you think.
Glad you are here! Stay stopped now and you'll have an amazing life!
After reading the replies, why don't you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous, the specifically the first 164 pages (the stories are okay, too), then let us know what you think.
Glad you are here! Stay stopped now and you'll have an amazing life!
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
Originally Posted by ResIpsa
The hard part is that I actually ENJOY drinking, it makes life interesting and helps me cope with depression. It's never obstructed my work in law school and I'm not hung over too terribly often.
Originally Posted by desertsong
So try stopping completely ... and go from there. Pay attention to your feelings (anxiety, depression, panic, obsessive thoughts about drinking) and to how your body reacts (sweats, tremors, confused thinking, nausea, etc.) How you feel will be a good indicator of just how big of a problem you have.
I agree with a lot said here, especially this.
Originally Posted by Dee74
I'd just add maybe it's best to stop trying to compare yourself to others? Problems are best assessed on their impact individually....I really don't think it's as much about how much you drink or how often, but why you drink, and what happens to you when you do.
If you prefer to drink alone and you have trouble stopping especially in that situation, then yeah, I think you need to look at why that might be...
If you prefer to drink alone and you have trouble stopping especially in that situation, then yeah, I think you need to look at why that might be...
I hope that helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 260
Originally Posted by ResIpsa
I'm curious because while I am not going out and boozing 3 nights a week like a lot of the people in my law school class, I feel like my drinking is worse because it's alone and not used as a social lubricant.
You're worried about your drinking and so was I at your age. You're trying to find ways around dealing with it that don't include abstinence, and so was I. One of the things I tried was hypnotherapy and during the sessions this subject of drinking alone came up. I tried to describe to my hypnotherapist how it felt for me drinking alone. Apart from the fact that I quite clearly remember using the phrase, 'It feels like I could shoot the moon,' (cringe, cringe) I remember that as I was talking to her she began smiling. 'All the things you're describing,' she said, 'how you feel free, how you don't worry, how you want a night off from your responsibilities, they're all good things. You shouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting those things,' and I did -- I think for the first time -- have a moment of clarity about why I was drinking.
I think she was saying that by drinking I was giving myself permission to 'take the night off', or at least give the worry-me the night off. The responsibility-me. And without booze I somehow couldn't give myself that permission. We embarked on a course to try and put that right, which didn't work, because as far as I could tell I was never actually hypnotised -- which was probably something to do with me being wound so tight, a condition I alleviated by, yes, drinking. Aaaaand here we are.
I'm not quite sure what I'm saying and if it's relevant to you, because I'm very new here myself, and I'm still working out a lot of my own issues on the page. But that hypnotherapy was ten years ago, so that's a decade of struggling with booze in the meantime. Ten years of feeling like poo I could have put to far better use, quite frankly. And also that I wish I'd tried harder to catch the ball the hypnotherapist threw for me, and give myself that permission and find some alternative ways to access those feelings I described. Again, I would have had ten years' head start on where I am now -- and where I am now is newly abstinent, with a fresh payload of shame and trying to find some alternative ways to... you know what I'm saying.
I think the fact that you're here and you're worried about your drinking says an awful lot, and I think you probably need to do something about it, and whatever that thing is, I wish you the very best of luck with it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Hello,
i am the same as yourslef i am 23 and graduated from a very good uni in england. however at uni is where my binge problem started.
i have decided to stop drinking all together as i have tried moderation and it simply doesnt work.
i certainly dont drink every day but money/spare time depending u can gaurentee i will suggest going to the pub or get a carry out of booze.
i cannot drink not to get bladdered, and my actions when drunk are abhorrent.
i have become depressed due to drinking. after a heavy seshion it takes 4 days for me to feel almost normal again, but by that time i am back on it.
u are ceratinly not alone mate and to have a problem with alcohol does not mean u drink a litre of vodka a day or every day. as i found out yesterday (when i joined this forum, after another and hopefully last episode.) you have to concerntrate on yourself and dont compare with others problems.
hope all is well
adm
i am the same as yourslef i am 23 and graduated from a very good uni in england. however at uni is where my binge problem started.
i have decided to stop drinking all together as i have tried moderation and it simply doesnt work.
i certainly dont drink every day but money/spare time depending u can gaurentee i will suggest going to the pub or get a carry out of booze.
i cannot drink not to get bladdered, and my actions when drunk are abhorrent.
i have become depressed due to drinking. after a heavy seshion it takes 4 days for me to feel almost normal again, but by that time i am back on it.
u are ceratinly not alone mate and to have a problem with alcohol does not mean u drink a litre of vodka a day or every day. as i found out yesterday (when i joined this forum, after another and hopefully last episode.) you have to concerntrate on yourself and dont compare with others problems.
hope all is well
adm
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