Here goes nothing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Here goes nothing
Hello all,
I have just signed up today and would firstly just like to say hi!
the reason i signed up is because i am certainly unsure if i have a problem or not with alcohol.
i feel i do have a problem but feel stupid for talking about it as i understand many on here will have a greater problem than myself.
The problem is that when i get time off work i cannot help myself but to want to go out and get absalutly drunk. this is causing me a variety of problems.
the main problem is that my decision making when drunk is appauling and i cannot remember how many times i have woke up the next morning feeling ashamed of what i have become. i would like to think in everyday life i have high morals and that i am a genuine person, but soon as i drink i just loose all sense of right and wrong.
not only is it causing myself issues but also my partner as we argue over it and money issues. and weight wise i suppose health issues.
i have seriously tried to stop drinking but it hasnt worked i cannot remember the last time i have had money in my pocket (£60 or so) and decided to go home and not drink until i cannot afford any more.
i dont know if i have a problem but i thought i would maybe seek a little help from you guys!
I have just signed up today and would firstly just like to say hi!
the reason i signed up is because i am certainly unsure if i have a problem or not with alcohol.
i feel i do have a problem but feel stupid for talking about it as i understand many on here will have a greater problem than myself.
The problem is that when i get time off work i cannot help myself but to want to go out and get absalutly drunk. this is causing me a variety of problems.
the main problem is that my decision making when drunk is appauling and i cannot remember how many times i have woke up the next morning feeling ashamed of what i have become. i would like to think in everyday life i have high morals and that i am a genuine person, but soon as i drink i just loose all sense of right and wrong.
not only is it causing myself issues but also my partner as we argue over it and money issues. and weight wise i suppose health issues.
i have seriously tried to stop drinking but it hasnt worked i cannot remember the last time i have had money in my pocket (£60 or so) and decided to go home and not drink until i cannot afford any more.
i dont know if i have a problem but i thought i would maybe seek a little help from you guys!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome adifferentman...Great to have you with us...And it's a great site for support....I'm an alcoholic....I used to think I had a problem too...And that was it...I was an alcoholic...That's my problem...Sounds like it's causing you some problems...As you use the word problem a lot....What do you want to do??....Do you want to stop drinking for ever?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Hello thanks for the welcome.
I honnestly want to feel good about myself again.
I believe that i will ultimatly have to stop drinking all together. I have tried to just drink in moderation and it simply does not work.
but when i try to speak to my partner about it it gets dismissed as me being silly because i dont drink everyday and i think shes sees my drinking as a choice rarther than an addiction.
how have dealt with your problems?
I honnestly want to feel good about myself again.
I believe that i will ultimatly have to stop drinking all together. I have tried to just drink in moderation and it simply does not work.
but when i try to speak to my partner about it it gets dismissed as me being silly because i dont drink everyday and i think shes sees my drinking as a choice rarther than an addiction.
how have dealt with your problems?
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
arlreet bonnie lad! how are ya? you've come to tha right place to stop n get support to help ya stay stopped pal, divent worry about comparing yourself to others n feeling stupid cos ya not as bad, thats the drink talkin to ya, just try and identify n not compare, try identify with what others have gone through and how they have managed to stop n stay stopped!
and yeah you mention the word problem alot, yep it was the same for me, the drink messed me up so much that my life became unmanageable, its so not worth tha hassle hey?
its great you've figured out you have a problem with the drink already, time to knock it on the head, life gets much much better when your sober i assure ya, great to have ya with us pal (atlast someone who will prob understand my accent/typing lol) pm me anytime ifya need a chat/advice i'll help ya as much as i can
best wishes
johnny
and yeah you mention the word problem alot, yep it was the same for me, the drink messed me up so much that my life became unmanageable, its so not worth tha hassle hey?
its great you've figured out you have a problem with the drink already, time to knock it on the head, life gets much much better when your sober i assure ya, great to have ya with us pal (atlast someone who will prob understand my accent/typing lol) pm me anytime ifya need a chat/advice i'll help ya as much as i can
best wishes
johnny
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
hey adman, you sound like me, I didn't know if I had a problem until I MADE IT A PROBLEM. The thing I did, I am sober 48 days now, so not that I am a know it all!! But I checked out some places, and instead of just going to AA to "get some advise" or something, I went to a recovery facility and let them do an eval. I ended up doing 4 weeks of treatment that was 3 hours a day so I could still go to work and sleep at home with my husband, but get some help, then after 4 weeks some after care sessions a few hours a week. I am in no place to tell you what to do, but I can say I am married less than 2 years and if I would have kept up what "I wasn't sure was a problem" I may be divorced today. Remember, they put up with what we can't remember!!!
One thing that helps, even if you just decide to go to AA or see someone once a week or something, is to get your partner involved, al-anon or just simply them coming to a session with you, they need to understand that alcoholism is a disease just like cancer or anything else! it can be overcome, and the more support, the better!!!!
One thing that helps, even if you just decide to go to AA or see someone once a week or something, is to get your partner involved, al-anon or just simply them coming to a session with you, they need to understand that alcoholism is a disease just like cancer or anything else! it can be overcome, and the more support, the better!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
hello johnny mate,
eye i can undertand it no prblem!haha.
cheers for the advice and to be honnest its a big weight off my shoulders just being able to talk about it.
i didnt realise i mentioned problem so much, suppose it sort of says summit!
I am certainly going to knock it on the head this time, otherwise as you said it will become unmanagable.
so you from the northeast yourself i take it?haha
eye i can undertand it no prblem!haha.
cheers for the advice and to be honnest its a big weight off my shoulders just being able to talk about it.
i didnt realise i mentioned problem so much, suppose it sort of says summit!
I am certainly going to knock it on the head this time, otherwise as you said it will become unmanagable.
so you from the northeast yourself i take it?haha
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by adifferentman 
Hello thanks for the welcome.
I honnestly want to feel good about myself again.
I believe that i will ultimatly have to stop drinking all together. I have tried to just drink in moderation and it simply does not work.
but when i try to speak to my partner about it it gets dismissed as me being silly because i dont drink everyday and i think shes sees my drinking as a choice rarther than an addiction.
how have dealt with your problems?
I honnestly want to feel good about myself again.
I believe that i will ultimatly have to stop drinking all together. I have tried to just drink in moderation and it simply does not work.
but when i try to speak to my partner about it it gets dismissed as me being silly because i dont drink everyday and i think shes sees my drinking as a choice rarther than an addiction.
how have dealt with your problems?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
thanks for the advice nnewgirl!
yeah it seems that i will loose everything if i keep on going.
well done for the 48 days!!!! keep it going! u still find it difficult or is it getting a little easier?
yeah it seems that i will loose everything if i keep on going.
well done for the 48 days!!!! keep it going! u still find it difficult or is it getting a little easier?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by adifferentman
cheers for the advice and to be honnest its a big weight off my shoulders just being able to talk about it.
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Hi adifferentman, you have made a big step in coming here. There is a lot of support and help available
You realise that drink isnt your best friend and people here can help you come off it.
I dealt with my problems by coming here and going to AA.
I would advise you to go to an AA meeting, as they are very eye opening. You dont need to say anything, but you learn loads
You realise that drink isnt your best friend and people here can help you come off it.
I dealt with my problems by coming here and going to AA.
I would advise you to go to an AA meeting, as they are very eye opening. You dont need to say anything, but you learn loads
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Sapling
It's a big time relief just to address it and talk about it....Glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by adifferentman
Thanks very much i appreciate the time you guys have taken to advise me!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
i can say getting easier, but still hard, but so is life.. I mean things will still happen, things still happen that make you think "I need to drink because this happened, and I used to drink because this happened," it will always happen. The big thing is is you make friends here, you make sober friends, and you learn to deal. The biggest thing is that you have someone to talk to no matter what to make sure you don't F@@@ up. Because we can always blame it on someone or something else, but its our choice. and Sir, if you ever need someone to call, I can give you my ## on personal message, I'm a nurse and work nights, so I'm up your hrs!! let me know, and if your other half wants to speak/type to me and make sure I'm not a threat! I'm down!! I am a married woman who went to get help for me and also because I didn't want to loose my hubsand.. if she really wants a nurse to tell her what alcoholism/addiction is, I;m your girl
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
ADM
I was still was professionally employed, doing OK financially, had a wife, and a car license, clean criminal record etc. I wasted many years telling myself any combination of reasons why what I was doing was either alright or not too bad, or it was due to external circumstances. The word alcoholic therefore never applied to me.
Through trial and error, poor medium and longer term results and thinking about what was happening I acknowledged that I had developed the phenomena of craving (and everything that goes with it). In the end I am grateful that I acknowledged that I was powerless to stop the process of craving and my life had become unmanageable.
Thankfully I am still professionally employed, married etc. I am sure if I kept on the road I was on I would lose most of what I had.
It is a great relief to be free of the struggle and the torment. I feel like I am living again.
I was still was professionally employed, doing OK financially, had a wife, and a car license, clean criminal record etc. I wasted many years telling myself any combination of reasons why what I was doing was either alright or not too bad, or it was due to external circumstances. The word alcoholic therefore never applied to me.
Through trial and error, poor medium and longer term results and thinking about what was happening I acknowledged that I had developed the phenomena of craving (and everything that goes with it). In the end I am grateful that I acknowledged that I was powerless to stop the process of craving and my life had become unmanageable.
Thankfully I am still professionally employed, married etc. I am sure if I kept on the road I was on I would lose most of what I had.
It is a great relief to be free of the struggle and the torment. I feel like I am living again.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by adifferentman
hello johnny mate,
eye i can undertand it no prblem!haha.
cheers for the advice and to be honnest its a big weight off my shoulders just being able to talk about it.
i didnt realise i mentioned problem so much, suppose it sort of says summit!
I am certainly going to knock it on the head this time, otherwise as you said it will become unmanagable.
so you from the northeast yourself i take it?haha
eye i can undertand it no prblem!haha.
cheers for the advice and to be honnest its a big weight off my shoulders just being able to talk about it.
i didnt realise i mentioned problem so much, suppose it sort of says summit!
I am certainly going to knock it on the head this time, otherwise as you said it will become unmanagable.
so you from the northeast yourself i take it?haha
i ended up going to a rehab down ere, made a good support network of sober pals along the way so i stayedyeah about the moderation thing, tried it many times meself n failed...miserably! it dont work...call it a day pal, save yasel the hassle its so not worth it, like others av said ere, AA saved me too, give it a crack, youve nowt to lose n everything to gain, its a grand life, 100 times better than hangin out wiv muppets down the boozer
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
And it's not uncommon for partners, spouses, family members, and friends to say 'Oh no you are not an alcoholic!'. They are invested in an image of you as healthy, functional, and normal. They may also have weird associations with the word "alcoholic" as many of us do, and think of it as applying only to helpless trembling wrecks -- which some of us are or have been, but not all! 
.
Talking honestly to her about what is bothering you in your own drink life would be a good step. Once we stop trying to make things look all rosy, there is usually more understanding and support.
Best wishes to you in your journey!
.Talking honestly to her about what is bothering you in your own drink life would be a good step. Once we stop trying to make things look all rosy, there is usually more understanding and support.
Best wishes to you in your journey!
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