anotherquitter

If you find that your struggling with the concept of quitting forever then this may help.

When I quit smoking (9 years ago) I told myself I wasn't quitting for good. I promised myself that for my 80th birthday I would buy a Zippo and a pack of Marlboro Reds. Now after reading up on ARVT, I guess this was my way of telling the beast that it would eventually get another fix of nicotine - it just had to wait about 40 years. It seemed to help me quit (along with the patch). Even after years after quitting, while most of the time the thought of smoking again is intolerable, there is still that occasion when I get a whiff of a smoke and think how good it would be to have just one. You ex-smokers know what I'm talking about. But that's when I can tell myself, not to worry I can have one when I turn 80!

Now, I'm not sure this approach would work for quitting drinking, and I'm certainly not advocating it. However, if you find that no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to use the word NEVER (as in I will NEVER drink again), then this may be an option, at least initially until you get over the hump.

The approach totally goes against the grain of the prevalent "all or nothing" philosophy, and yes I personally know moderation is NEVER an answer, however I've gotten so much helpful info from SR I thought I might post my thoughts in case it helps anyone overcome the brief periods of inner doubt. Stay strong.

SSIL75

Yes I thought that was interesting in AVRT!

Sapling

I tell you what...If I just don't have a drink today....I'll be just fine.

Anna

I think you should always do whatever works for you.

johnny2times

worried about quitting forever?

nope! not in the slightest...i can safely say i have had enough! my drinking days are over, i consider that time of my life to be a closed chapter.

plus the vibe i get from the aa way of life beats the drinking way of life hands down...so its a no brainer for me now! lol

johnny2times

doggonecarl

Speaking of quitting forever...have you quit anotherquitter? Or are you still working toward that quit date you mentioned in your initial post?

I embraced the concept of forever. It removed all wiggle room for thinking about drinking, about missing it, or rationalizing that "someday" I might be able to drink again.

Sapling

Knowing that for me to drink is to die helps...Plus the idea that I'll never be able to drink like a gentleman doesn't hurt.

Terminally Unique

What will you do when you actually turn 80?

Terminally Unique

If you recall, SSIL75, the example from the crash course is to suggest a drink in 200 years, to celebrate 200 years of abstinence. The Beast is timeless, and doesn't realize that in 200 years, you will be dead, and it along with you. If you leave the option of drinking on the table, however, the Addictive Voice will inevitably shorten the time-frame, as anotherquitter has done. The AV will keep shortening it, too, until one day it will inevitably say "well, if you will drink then anyway, why not now?"

anotherquitter

I'm working toward my quit date, despite overwhelming responses against this approach. I'm presently being much more responsible in my consumption but have not quit yet. I'm reading all that I can, and preparing myself for possibly symptoms, and situations that I will encounter. I plan to succeed, and I know that I will quit. I am quietening my addictive voice, and am finding in my preparation that my desire to consume is weakening. All toward killing the beast.

I have opened up and discussed quitting with my wife, and needless to say, she is in full support of my efforts. I've even broached the subject with my closest friend, which took a lot of guts. This is all part of preparing myself. I'm reading up on AA, and have researched AVRT. I plan on attending AA meetings come day one.

If the fact that I have not yet quit discounts my input then I'll be happy to shut up and stop posting until day one. See you then.....

PS, to answer Terminally Unique:
If and when I turn 80 I know I probably won't smoke, despite how much I used to love it in the past. But it has been nice to tell my inner voice in times of need that the future option is there. Heck, before I applied that strategy, quitting smoking was easy - I did it lots of times! I feel if I can concur that demon then I can overcome alcohol as well. Yet for me that may be harder, not solely from a physical standpoint, but much more emotionally. I will be strong.

Terminally Unique

Except that you didn't actually quit, you merely stopped temporarily, only to start up again. People often use the words 'stop' and 'quit' interchangeably, but they are not the same. We all stop at stop signs, only to start up again.

wellwisher

When I was broken and sick in the detox unit, I committed to quitting forever - never wanted to go through THAT again...

HOW I achieved it was one day at a time...

My personal experience is that it really doesn't matter if I push off any "potential" drinking to 80 or 200; the reality is that once I got past the compulsion and that my life indeed did improve, the issue became mute....

I hope you continue posting your experience as you try to quit. I mean that.

DayTrader

Another....... nobody's knocking you personally.

Most of us have tried dozens.....or hundreds of "techniques" to slow down, moderate or even stop for a time.... I know for me, whenever I hear someone post about this slick idea they came up with and it was one I tried unsuccessfully (and others tried unsuccessfully) many MANY times......I'd be derelict if I didn't point out what my experience was with it.

It's truly nothing personal and you're welcome to post just about anything anytime you want here (they do have SOME rules though, yanno - lol). If you don't want to post till you stop, cool. Wanna post up till then, cool.

A warning though, quitting smoking and quitting drinking can be two compleeeeeeeetely different animals. From what I know, smoking is mostly physical and mental addiction. For some of us, alcoholism is right there as well but there's an added spiritual component. I dunno about you but I never cheated on my wife while smoking. I never acted completely disrespectfully because of my smoking. ...and when I stopped smoking, I was a pretty normal guy - just didn't smoke anymore. Alcoholism though, can be much more than just a drinking problem. It isn't for everybody so I can't say what YOU are up against. Know this though, it may take some reeeeeal openmindeness and some work in some areas that make no sense to you (at first anyway....they begin to make sense as the fog lifts).

Pigtails

I agree with this. The "one day at a time" slogan didn't help me much because I kept thinking of the next day, when I could drink. I felt a lot of comfort when I decided not to drink any more "forever." That's not to say I am not grateful for every day sober, or that I don't focus on my sobriety and recovery every day. I do these things but I like the concept of thinking/saying "I will drink no more forever" rather than "I won't drink today" (but I DO think "I won't drink today", or even "at this event" or even "in this moment" when I am experiencing a rough patch and the temptation/desire to drink... that is how I talk myself out of it in the moment, but overall I have the "no more forever, no matter what" mentality.)

JustBreath

Hello Another

Thank you for this post. I am quitting smoking after my next pack is gone or by Sunday, which ever comes first. I made the decison today after playing frisbee with some friends this morning. I have tried to quit in the past but just couldn't do it.

I will try this advice if I feel like I am failing.
Thank you again

eJoshua

When I was starting it was hard for me to accept the concept of forever, so I did the same thing as you, except I'm not very patient. Instead of saying 'when I'm 80' I said 'tomorrow' -- I can have a drink tomorrow. The next day I'd wake up and tell myself the same thing: that drink I want right now? I'll just have it tomorrow instead.

Fooling myself? Maybe, but in those first couple weeks or months sometimes fooling works.

Not a good long term strategy though, I don't think. Today I'm comfortable with the concept of forever because I just consider myself a non-drinker.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, *Forever* turns out to be not as long as it seems, you know? It isn't longer than a lifetime I have since come to terms with.

I'm all done with drinking alcohol and as well smoking too --> today, tomorrow, and forever.

It's all good now even when its not, lol. Peception is such a wonderfully useful tool when applied to understanding ourselves while living a free and real life.

GrowingDaily

Another, thanks for your post. I know it's meant to help, so that's very much appreciated.

That being said, I know if I kept the thought in my head that someday I'd 'reward' myself with alcohol, or nicotine, or whatever else I've hurt myself with over the years, that day would surely come a lot sooner than I thought. I'd make sure of it. I always have.

Alcohol's hurt me. I don't want to view it as a reward. I want to view it for what it is to me: a poison. That keeps me from going back. As well it should.

Again - not bagging on you one bit. Just expressing my thoughts on the subject. I'm glad what you're doing is working for you at the moment!

Lost3000

Totally. Sometimes I wish I was hooked on drugs or cigs...because no one offers me a cigarette or drug at a baby shower, I don't have clients giving me thank you gifts of cigs or drugs, you aren't expected to have cigs or drugs to "be fun" at a party, the all-inclusive resorts don't include all you can smoke or all you can meth up, I don't get offered a drug or cig to celebrate...just sayin'.