Worried for my niece...
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Worried for my niece...
Brief history. My younger brother has been abusive in the past. He spent a year in jail for beating his first wife. She very nearly died. When she got out of the hospital, she fled, abandoning her two children (my niece and nephew) who were I believe about 10 and 8 at the time. Since my brother was in jail and their mother was missing, my mom and step-dad petitioned the court for custody and got it. As soon as my brother got out of jail, off supervision, and completed his mandatory counseling, the court gave him custody and his kids have been with him since.
Fast forward to now, niece is 15, brother is remarried, and niece ran away from home last weekend. I only found out because my son mentioned “family drama” he had seen on Facebook and asked me about it. I didn’t see it because I had blocked my brother last year when he began his new romance and I couldn’t stand all the “oh baby, you were so hot last night” kind of posts between him and his new woman. FWIW, I do not think my brother is reformed of his abusiveness, and believe that he merely went through the motions of what was required to get out of jail and get his kids back. It’s not that I believe he is an evil person, just that he has never learned any other way to handle adversity in his life besides physical violence.
Now, my sister and I are very concerned about our niece. She is back home and my brother has vowed on Facebook to “straighten her out.” We are both over 1000 miles away from them and feeling pretty helpless. Unable to even reach out to our niece and offer to be an ear since my brother has cut off all email/phone/computer etc. since the runaway incident.
Even though my mother is in the same town, I don’t believe she would intervene because (even now) she believes my brother can do no wrong. I don’t even know the new wife, but she seems very infatuated with my brother and would also probably stand by him no matter what. I have no information at all that there is anything violent going on in their home. My fears are entirely based on my brother’s history and apparent lack of remorse for the past. He is still very controlling and exhibits a strong sense of entitlement. This is what scares me.
Part of the issue for me is that I was once that scared 15 year old who acted out. I was abandoned by my father and left to live with my codependent (but at least not physically abusive) mother. I also acted out. I know there is little, if anything, I can do from here. I am staying alert to the situation and waiting for more to be revealed. I sincerely hope that is the right thing to do at this point.
I guess I’m not really asking for anything, but just wanting to put my fears out here. I find myself taking many deep breaths every day and praying for her, even though I am not a praying person. Thanks for letting me get this out.
L
Fast forward to now, niece is 15, brother is remarried, and niece ran away from home last weekend. I only found out because my son mentioned “family drama” he had seen on Facebook and asked me about it. I didn’t see it because I had blocked my brother last year when he began his new romance and I couldn’t stand all the “oh baby, you were so hot last night” kind of posts between him and his new woman. FWIW, I do not think my brother is reformed of his abusiveness, and believe that he merely went through the motions of what was required to get out of jail and get his kids back. It’s not that I believe he is an evil person, just that he has never learned any other way to handle adversity in his life besides physical violence.
Now, my sister and I are very concerned about our niece. She is back home and my brother has vowed on Facebook to “straighten her out.” We are both over 1000 miles away from them and feeling pretty helpless. Unable to even reach out to our niece and offer to be an ear since my brother has cut off all email/phone/computer etc. since the runaway incident.
Even though my mother is in the same town, I don’t believe she would intervene because (even now) she believes my brother can do no wrong. I don’t even know the new wife, but she seems very infatuated with my brother and would also probably stand by him no matter what. I have no information at all that there is anything violent going on in their home. My fears are entirely based on my brother’s history and apparent lack of remorse for the past. He is still very controlling and exhibits a strong sense of entitlement. This is what scares me.
Part of the issue for me is that I was once that scared 15 year old who acted out. I was abandoned by my father and left to live with my codependent (but at least not physically abusive) mother. I also acted out. I know there is little, if anything, I can do from here. I am staying alert to the situation and waiting for more to be revealed. I sincerely hope that is the right thing to do at this point.
I guess I’m not really asking for anything, but just wanting to put my fears out here. I find myself taking many deep breaths every day and praying for her, even though I am not a praying person. Thanks for letting me get this out.
L
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Luckily (or not, depending how you look at it, lol) my brother posts a lot of his life on Facebook. So, I can kind of get a feel for where he's at by watching his wall. Right now, his anger seems to be mostly directed at the boyfriend and bf's parent(s). He is posting some really ugly and sick stuff. *sigh*
L
L
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