Any suggestions when finding a sponsor?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Springfield MO
Posts: 4
Any suggestions when finding a sponsor?
I want to get involved in AA and NA I am slowly working towards it slowly getting comfortable in going to meetings but I want to find a sponsor as soon as I can because I have a hard time feeling like I am working towards peace in recovery unless I am working the steps with someone. I want to work the steps with someone so bad I feel like if I start on those I will be less likely to stray from what I am trying to acheive I have admitted I am powerless over my addiction and alcohol, I believe that I will be saved but only by a power greater than myself. I haven't met step three just yet I am still struggling with trusting 100% in a higher power but am making small steps there. Day by day. I just want someone to be accountable to I need that cause I can't be accountable to myself. I have talked to a couple ladies about sponsoring me and they backed off pretty quick said not to rush into it but I feel like I need it as soon as possible any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Brighton, UK
Posts: 164
pick someone who studies and speaks the truth from the BB, you'll be able to spot them, they'll have a warm glow about them and a funny content looking smile on there faces
try avoid the ones who spout off about themselves all the time...in my experience there the ones who are struggling and havent quite got it yet
try avoid the ones who spout off about themselves all the time...in my experience there the ones who are struggling and havent quite got it yet
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I want to get involved in AA and NA I am slowly working towards it slowly getting comfortable in going to meetings but I want to find a sponsor as soon as I can because I have a hard time feeling like I am working towards peace in recovery unless I am working the steps with someone. I want to work the steps with someone so bad I feel like if I start on those I will be less likely to stray from what I am trying to acheive I have admitted I am powerless over my addiction and alcohol, I believe that I will be saved but only by a power greater than myself. I haven't met step three just yet I am still struggling with trusting 100% in a higher power but am making small steps there. Day by day. I just want someone to be accountable to I need that cause I can't be accountable to myself. I have talked to a couple ladies about sponsoring me and they backed off pretty quick said not to rush into it but I feel like I need it as soon as possible any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I cannot add to what others have said about picking a sponsor but I did have a concern about your comments on step 3:
There is nothing in step 3 about "trusting 100% in a higher power". To recap, step 3 is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand him."
You don't even have to turn your will and life over, just make a decision to do so. And this certainly does not require 100% trust in your HP.
The actual turning over of your will and life will happen as you work steps 4-12. Your understanding of yourself, your disease, your HP, and the AA program will change dramatically during this time, as will your trust level in your HP.
This is a program of progress not perfection, I would stay away from putting artificial levels on the steps, especially if that level is 100%
Originally Posted by freebrainplz
I haven't met step three just yet I am still struggling with trusting 100% in a higher power but am making small steps there. Day by day
You don't even have to turn your will and life over, just make a decision to do so. And this certainly does not require 100% trust in your HP.
The actual turning over of your will and life will happen as you work steps 4-12. Your understanding of yourself, your disease, your HP, and the AA program will change dramatically during this time, as will your trust level in your HP.
This is a program of progress not perfection, I would stay away from putting artificial levels on the steps, especially if that level is 100%
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I lot of people get caught up on turning your will and your life over....Like you're going to be some kind of robot or something...Your will is your thoughts...Your life is the actions you take...Based on those thoughts...The care of your Higher Power...Is guidance basically...You're having faith in something that will allow you to think about living better....Not lying..Cheating...Stealing...What can I get from you?....But that will guide you to be honest...Help people...Do the next right thing....And when you practice living like that....Good things start to happen...First you have to clear the wreckage of your past...Clean your side of the street...That's where steps 4-9 come in. But like dgillz said...Nobody is going to be perfect at it...If we were...There'd be nothing left to practice for.
I hope that made some kind of sense...Because it made sense to me.
I hope that made some kind of sense...Because it made sense to me.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
That's a real good tip off that those people should not be your sponsor. The Steps are how we recovered. There is no good reason to postpone that life changing experience.
Instead, look for someone that talks about being recovered as the result of a spiritual awakening by taking the 12 Steps. See if they are willing to show you what they have done.
I was a loooong way from trusting 100% in a higher power when I first took the Steps. In fact, I was a staunch atheist who thought the idea of a higher power was a crutch for weak minded sheep. But, I was willing to believe. That's the essential Step 2 requirement. Further trust in that power was the result of continuing with the Steps and experiencing that power.
Instead, look for someone that talks about being recovered as the result of a spiritual awakening by taking the 12 Steps. See if they are willing to show you what they have done.
I was a loooong way from trusting 100% in a higher power when I first took the Steps. In fact, I was a staunch atheist who thought the idea of a higher power was a crutch for weak minded sheep. But, I was willing to believe. That's the essential Step 2 requirement. Further trust in that power was the result of continuing with the Steps and experiencing that power.
I didn't really know what I was doing on step 3, but I made a decision to put myself under the "care" of a power greater than me, moved forward in the next steps immediately; that is when things got amazingly beautiful! The first 3 steps became clear after steps 4-7.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
freebrainplz, when at your meeting, watch and listen to the oldtimer ladies talk.
When you hear one with lots of sobriety and who carries herself so well that you say to yourself "She is WAY too good for me"... pick her !
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
When you hear one with lots of sobriety and who carries herself so well that you say to yourself "She is WAY too good for me"... pick her !
Wishing you the best.
Bob R
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