Eliasson

The plan for tonight is to go see a showing of "Casablanca" at the local theater with a few girlfriends. With my depression, it will probably be good for me to get out of the house and do this. However, they are all meeting at a Mexican restaurant first for margaritas. I don't know if I'm strong enough to go and not drink. It's day 5 again for me. I think I know what to do, but just needed opinions from here. Do I go and suffer through or do I skip restaurant and meet them only at movie theater for movie?

On another note, I have been overwhelming myself with the prospect of NEVER ever having another drink. My whole life. Forever. It is the only thing that allows me to enjoy anything. Without it, my life is a big black hole.

Taking5

Are you in an kind of recovery program such as AA, Smart, etc?

Lenina

You might want to just meet them at the theatre. You know, my life was a big, black, empty hole with alcohol. That's why I quit drinking.

I don't know if you're familiar with the alcoholic voice. Being able to recognize it helped me so much. You can read more about it on the AVRT threads in The Secular Recovery section.

learning AVRT made so much sense to me.

I love seeing those old movies on the big screen! have a good time!

Love from Lenina

2granddaughters

It sounds like you haven't quite hit that "blank wall" that they describe in AA.... that "bottom" where you know that the booze is going to kill you and you'll do anything to recover.

Are you going to AA meetings?

Bob R

desertsong

I understand your dilemma. Dinners out are fun but if you're feeling shaky, I'd skip it and just meet them at the theater.

Honey, the big black hole is just an illusion created by alcohol. It's made you think that you have to have it in order to have any kind of life. Truth is, it's stealing your life but it's sneaky about it. Wrapping your brain around not having it "forever," is incomprehensible, I know. So just wrap your brain around "today." That's all you know you have ... none of us is guaranteed tomorrow. If you just don't drink today, before you know it, all of those todays will add up to "forever." It won't be effortless, but it's certainly easier.

Good for you for getting out of the house tonight. I'm a HUGE Bogie fan!! Enjoy!

Purplecatlover

I felt that way. Like alcohol was the only "good" thing I had.
After being here awhile & getting fed up with never being satisfied after drinking, I found the courage to quit. But I had to see alcohol for what it really was.
A liar to me. Have you read through the AVRT thread in the secular connections?
Alcohol is very deceptive. Now that I've been sober 2 months, I'm happier than ever. I don't "need" anything to help me enjoy life. Life is simply enjoyable b/c I'm not controlled by a drug(alcohol)anymore.

How does alcohol make you feel the next day?
If it makes you enjoy everything why do you want to quit?



If its s

JohnnyDetox

Skip the restaurant, why put yourself in harms way? Big Black Hole without alcohol? Give it time, let your body and mind heal, hang out here and think of a treatment plan and follow it. If you do, you'll look at things differently, IMO. Stay strong and enjoy the flick.

Oh, and try not to think of it as quitting forever...I find it more managaable by just not drinking TODAY. The thought of forever can be overwhelming sometimes. It works for me and a bunch of others I know.

Dee74

I'd probably meet them at the theatre too Eliasson - there'll be other dinner get togethers when you feel stronger

I used to think that way too- believe me...but it's not true. Look at all of us here - we're not living in black holes

Alcohols an easy choice - we just reach out for it and it's there...but you know the cost.

I found I can have a rich fulfilling, and fun life, without alcohol - but I gotta work for it - I have to put time and effort in, and sometimes I have to go out of my way, & sometimes I have to admit I need to get some help behind me.

I think some of us have to do more than just not drink, to be happy, y'know E?

D

sugarbear1

Stay strong, you can stay stopped, Eliasson!

Bring a small package of candy and suck on some of them in the theater. If you go to the restaurant, eat some food, drink water with lemon slices....or just get to the theater. Enjoy your time!

strawberrygirl

"Suffering through" a dinner where your friends are drinking and you're bummed you aren't or, worse, you give in an lose 5 days of sobriety doesn't sound very fun. Could you plan something nice for yourself while they are out drinking so you don't feel like you're missing out? Make yourself a nice dinner at home or use the extra time to get all dolled up for the movie? You said you think you know what you need to do so listen to yourself and maybe think about how you'll feel about yourself tomorrow if you go with option #1 v. option #2. Good luck and happy Casablanca!

Purplecatlover

I know you've been through alot. I read some of your old posts & the computer crashed.
Be strong. Don't go if you'll be miserable.
You'll never regret not drinking but you will if you do.

There's no happy ever after in the bottle.
Enjoy your movie buzz free.

awuh1

I beg your indulgence. For a moment suspend your disbelief and think of events and places in the opening words of Casablanca as a sort of map…….

With the coming of the Second World War (the great destruction brought on by alcohol) many eyes in imprisoned Europe (people wishing to escape the danger and destruction) turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas (long term sobriety). Lisbon (successfully working a program) became the great embarkation point. But not everybody could get to Lisbon directly. And so a tortuous round about refugee trail sprang up (a series of tasks to be performed). Paris to Marseille (stop drinking for a few days)…. across the Mediterranean to Oran…..(avoid situations where there is alcohol) then by train or auto or foot (a plan for sobriety AA, AVRT, self-knowledge etc.) across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca (the decision point about the right thing to do) in French Morocco. Here the fortunate ones through money or influence or luck (the ones prepared and willing to do what is necessary and having picked a program) might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon (successfully working a program), and from Lisbon the new world (long term sobriety). But the others wait in Casablanca…. and wait....and wait……….

Bon Voyage

Eliasson

Thank you all. I've decided to skip dinner and go to only movie. And yes, I've done AA before and believe in a "higher power", but nonetheless have issues right now that are preventing me from embracing AA. Maybe that will change? In the meantime, I'd love to learn more about AVRT or the other options? Where do I find those on this site? I can't seem to find it. Thank you so so much

awuh1

Contact the member “Terminally Unique” via a private note and he will likely email material to you. Also see the "secular connections" section of this site.

Anna

I'm glad that you decided to skip the restaurant. You can find more info about AVRT on the Secular Forum, but I hope you will still continue to post on Newcomers. And, of course, feel free to discuss any kind of recovery program here in Newcomers.

Lenina

To learn more about AVRT, start here! http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iscussion.html

Theres four parts to this continuing thread. Give it a read. I hope it helps you as much as it does me!

Love from Lenina

eJoshua

Maybe it's too late to throw my opinion out there, but I definitely think skipping the restaurant sounds like the best bet. I don't think it would be very fun anyways, just sitting around while others drink margraritas...

Hopeless71

Someone gave me the best advice a few weeks ago, that has really hit home for me. "just don't drink today/tonight". So when I feel like I need/what to, that's what I say to myself and it really works for me, I don't worry about any thing related to drinking unless it has to do with today.