1lastbreath

Hello, this is my first post here. I am married to an addict. We have been fighting this for four years now. There has been several times that he has told me that he was truly done this time & had quit taking pills. There has even been two times that he has quit (for short periods) well he has fell back into eating pills. My husband makes good money however we are broke. We lost our house last year. I know that we lost it because he was using the mortgage money to support his habit even tho he said that wasnt true. I am honestly at a point that i do not know what to do or where to turn. I love this man very much. The man he use to be, loved me very much. But the man he is now loves no one and only cares about getting his pills. Those pills have turned a wonderful father& husband into someone that i do not know, someone that i wouldnt have ever married. My head knows that i can not change him. However my heart believes everytime that he tells me he is going to quit. I do not know what to do or where to turn. He gave me his pills so that i could dish them out to him so that he could wean off of them however he found where i hid them& took a couple more out. He has a secret life that i know nothing about. I do not know the people that he is getting these pills from. Alot of the people that he talks to on the phone, ive never heard of. I know that they are suppliers but thats all i know. I do not want to walk away from this man i love him very much. I want to help him, i cant imagine life without him& he cant imagine life without pills or so it seems. Thanks to all!

Dee74

Hi 1lastbreath

I'm very sorry for your situation - I can only imagine how painful it is.

Have you got support for yourself in all of this? A lot of people here use things like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon to help...we also have Family and Friends forums here as well that you might like to also look at

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I'm glad you've joined us

D

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what has brought you here. The link that ((Dee)) provided above is full of people who know what you're going through. There are also "stickies" which are permanent posts at the top of the forum...really good information there.

When I first came here, I read and read then read some more. It was nice knowing I wasn't alone in my feelings, and neither are you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Timeisnow

Welcome to the forums, I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. Being an alcoholic, I've hid alcohol, lied about how much I've had to drink, how often I drink, etc. I don't know if anyone could have said or done anything that would have convinced me to quit unless I was really ready. I had to come to that decision on my own, and finally have.

The one thing I would really think about is if you are willing to live with and love your husband the way he is now without changing anything. I was involved with an addict even before I became one, and I truly loved him. But I also found myself romantisizing the man he was before. If I would have met him as an addict, I never would have become involved with him. It's hard, but you really have to think your future health. If your life revolves around him- worrying about if he's sober, if he's lying, what he's doing when he's not with you, that's not a happy, healthy life.

Ultimately only you know what's right for you and your family. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will have peace in your life, no matter what you decide.

gracie39

Praying foe you!! That is a tough situation but know that where you can't change him, God CAN! Like the lost sheep, God will go and find him and take his son home, I have faith that he will! This is a temporary battle that will only make your family stronger if he overcomes it!

logo

Good luck to you and your husband. I know for me as a using addict, I would tell people what ever they wanted to here. I would do what I had to get what I wanted. He will stop using when he is good and ready. It does not mater what you think or do he will not stop until he is ready. Try and do something for yourself. There a lot of good people here at SR that will help you in your time of need. Keep posting and asking for help. Good luck on your journey. Love and Respect. Logo

strawberrygirl

Hello. I have struggled with alcoholism and prescription/non-prescription pill abuse for most my life and really feel for what you are going through. What a difficult position to be in. I don't think anyone can tell you the "right" way to handle the situation or support your partner. The right way is whatever is right for you and takes care of you.

I can tell you that I owe my recovery to a partner who did not leave me but would not tolerate my addiction. I got a heavy and repeated dose of tough love and the fear of losing him strongly encouraged me to get my act together. Most importantly, he made it very clear to me that while he loved me it was not his job to take care of me. And I am grateful that he helped me get to a place where I started taking care of myself.

You clearly care very much for your husband and must make the choice that is right for you. That said, I would suggest you do everything you can to ensure you are receiving the support and self-care you need. Try to remember that his addiction is his responsibility and his choice - you are not responsible for his choices and you are not the reason for his addiction. As others have suggested here support groups for partners of addicts can be a wonderful resource.

I appreciate you sharing your story as it reminds me of how important to me it is to remain sober for the friends and family members who my addiction has hurt in the past. I hope things will improve for you. Take care and don't go it alone.

1lastbreath

Thanks for the forum link, i will go there& read all that i can! Thank ya'll for all of the sweet words! I do pray that he can become a sober addict.