Jilllian

....just wondering how many folks have this thought early on in their recovery. It's been on my my mind a few times today, but with no intention of really doing it "one more time."

i'm finding that the more i remember over the course of the last four years that i've allowed oxys to rule my life (the friends i've blown off during that time, the family gatherings i've made excuses to not attend during the same amount of time, the screw ups at this or that job, the kids' activities that i've missed, etc) makes me feel like an awful excuse of a human being...

not looking for sympathy or anything...just getting it off my chest.

i bet i'm not alone....

GrinningSoul

Thanks for sharing. Although I also won't have that life anymore, I do too have those feelings at times usually when under stress or when certain drugs are glamourized in say a TV show.

For myself, I recognize what my triggers are and try to find ways around them. If I'm stressed, walk or meditate, if I see drugs glamourized write a list in my head as to all the stuff that went wrong when I did those things etc. It sounds as if you are good at recognizing the harm it did too. That's always a good sign, keep up the good work!

Dee74

I think everyone's wrestled with that.

From this side of the fence I see that everytime I wanted to do it oine more time I really meant I'm scared of letting this life go.....but letting that life go was the best thing I ever did

You're doing great - stick with it Jillian

D

desertsong

I think that's pretty common among us. This is my fourth time getting sober in the past year and those three relapses were all a result of that kind of thinking. This last time, I was just shy of 60 days sober when I thought I'd do it "one more time" for my birthday. Well, that one time ended up lasting four days and landed me in the hospital going through detox. Scary stuff. If I were to have "one more time" after that, I'd probably be taking a dirt nap.

hypochondriac

I've had this thought today, but then I remember that 'just one more time' kept me drinking for 2 more years.

michelle01

Yes I did have those thoughts, trouble was I had too many 'just one more times...'