my list
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 139
my list
I really am coming to terms with this stuff. And I did do this exercise more for me, to try and objectively look at this, then to try and convince anyone else. I will definitely be sharing this list with my therapist next week.
Reasons I *Might* have an alcohol issue:
• I drink to feel it, although don’t always get drunk
• I drink at least one drink every night. Usually it’s 2-3. Four at the most.
• I often don’t eat on purpose so that I can feel the alcohol faster, and it takes less alcohol to feel it.
• Often, I will use beer as a meal substitute.
• I have driven 3-5 times while being “tipsy”, and knowing that I would probably get a DUI if I got pulled over.
• I use alcohol to relax, to celebrate, to reward myself, to help me sleep, to make the anxiety go away, to be more fun and outgoing with people, and to let go a little.
• I have made out with random people in public when I drink. My standards are dramatically lower, and I will pretty much kiss anything that is male and standing on two legs.
• I have fallen in public, after tripping over a hot dog stand at midnight, with approx. 50 people witnessing this.
• 2 or 3 times, I have thought about having a beer in the morning. Around 10am or so. Sometimes, I will have ONE beer at Noon. Mostly, the only time I want a drink is after work.
• I sleep terribly when I drink, and I wake up in the middle of the night, pulling my hair from anxiety.
• After a fun night with friends in a hot tub and everyone drinking heavily (I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to drink in hot tubs because it dehydrates you even more), the next day, I truly think I had alcohol withdrawals. I was badly shaking, and was so cold, and I physically could not stop my body from shaking to the point that I could barely stand up.
• There has been a couple times that I have puked in gross bars, or even laid my head on the most disgusting toilet seat in a bar that you could imagine. I was shaking and dry heaving, and I needed to be helped to the car (friends drove). But, that was well over 3 or 4 years ago.
• Now, whenever I am invited somewhere, I think “is there going to be alcohol offered?”. And if not, I think, “should I drink before I go?”, although I NEVER actually do. And even if alcohol is offered, I don’t always drink.
Reasons why it might not be a problem:
• I don’t normally drink “a lot”.
• It has NEVER affected my work, school, family, friends, finances or anything else.
• It doesn’t affect my “efficiency” or “ambitions”
• I’ve NEVER had a black out, never passed out, or forgotten anything that I have done while drinking.
• I’ve never been treated by a doctor or had to go to the hospital because of my drinking.
• I’ve never had a DUI.
• If I were to eat while I drank, I doubt it would be a problem at all.
• I really think the hot tub instance was because of the dehydration from the hot tub, not so much about the drinking.
• And the times of puking at bars was truly so long ago. At this time, I was barely drinking at all, and really only drank when I went out with friends every few months.
• I can say no to alcohol. Just because it’s there, or offered, doesn’t mean I will drink it.
• I’m a lightweight, and I don’t drink very much at all.
Reasons I *Might* have an alcohol issue:
• I drink to feel it, although don’t always get drunk
• I drink at least one drink every night. Usually it’s 2-3. Four at the most.
• I often don’t eat on purpose so that I can feel the alcohol faster, and it takes less alcohol to feel it.
• Often, I will use beer as a meal substitute.
• I have driven 3-5 times while being “tipsy”, and knowing that I would probably get a DUI if I got pulled over.
• I use alcohol to relax, to celebrate, to reward myself, to help me sleep, to make the anxiety go away, to be more fun and outgoing with people, and to let go a little.
• I have made out with random people in public when I drink. My standards are dramatically lower, and I will pretty much kiss anything that is male and standing on two legs.
• I have fallen in public, after tripping over a hot dog stand at midnight, with approx. 50 people witnessing this.
• 2 or 3 times, I have thought about having a beer in the morning. Around 10am or so. Sometimes, I will have ONE beer at Noon. Mostly, the only time I want a drink is after work.
• I sleep terribly when I drink, and I wake up in the middle of the night, pulling my hair from anxiety.
• After a fun night with friends in a hot tub and everyone drinking heavily (I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to drink in hot tubs because it dehydrates you even more), the next day, I truly think I had alcohol withdrawals. I was badly shaking, and was so cold, and I physically could not stop my body from shaking to the point that I could barely stand up.
• There has been a couple times that I have puked in gross bars, or even laid my head on the most disgusting toilet seat in a bar that you could imagine. I was shaking and dry heaving, and I needed to be helped to the car (friends drove). But, that was well over 3 or 4 years ago.
• Now, whenever I am invited somewhere, I think “is there going to be alcohol offered?”. And if not, I think, “should I drink before I go?”, although I NEVER actually do. And even if alcohol is offered, I don’t always drink.
Reasons why it might not be a problem:
• I don’t normally drink “a lot”.
• It has NEVER affected my work, school, family, friends, finances or anything else.
• It doesn’t affect my “efficiency” or “ambitions”
• I’ve NEVER had a black out, never passed out, or forgotten anything that I have done while drinking.
• I’ve never been treated by a doctor or had to go to the hospital because of my drinking.
• I’ve never had a DUI.
• If I were to eat while I drank, I doubt it would be a problem at all.
• I really think the hot tub instance was because of the dehydration from the hot tub, not so much about the drinking.
• And the times of puking at bars was truly so long ago. At this time, I was barely drinking at all, and really only drank when I went out with friends every few months.
• I can say no to alcohol. Just because it’s there, or offered, doesn’t mean I will drink it.
• I’m a lightweight, and I don’t drink very much at all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: LA, California
Posts: 372
For the "Reasons why it might NOT be a problem" .....add "yet" at the end of all of those. I tried to justify my drinking when I first started out, tried to think of every reason why I don't have a problem. It seems like you're doing exactly what I did. Who knows, you might not have a problem, but I can tell you if you don''t keep paying attention to it, it will sneak up on you quicker than you believe. Once again, I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: London, UK
Posts: 92
You puked from alcohol so long ago because you weren't used to it. The reason you don't puke now is because you drink regularly. That was my experience anyway.
I'm sure any Doctor or Physician would be horrified at beer being an occasional meal substitute.
That said I hope you don't have a problem obviously, it's not nice.
I'm sure any Doctor or Physician would be horrified at beer being an occasional meal substitute.
That said I hope you don't have a problem obviously, it's not nice.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: LA, California
Posts: 372
Exactly, it's all about what you choose to do now. I don't think you have a serious problem now, but like I said, everyone started somewhere. It can get much MUCH worse if you don't pay close attention to it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Just by using the word *might* sounds like you don't quite want to admit to it yet. But from my experience all those reasons would be on my list, too!
I never got a DUI or went to jail and most of my family didn't even know I had a problem until I got fired from my new job for drinking and had to tell my parents. After 30 years of alcohol abuse...it caught up to me. It has an evil way of doing that.
I never got a DUI or went to jail and most of my family didn't even know I had a problem until I got fired from my new job for drinking and had to tell my parents. After 30 years of alcohol abuse...it caught up to me. It has an evil way of doing that.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
EH nailed it with the "yets." That was me too. I'd go to AA and hear all of the gruesome stories about what happened to some of those people and I'd think, "Well, I haven't done that" or "I'm not as bad off as that lady." At one meeting with my sponsor (who has 25+ years of sobriety), I said, "Well, at least I haven't had a DUI, I haven't gotten thrown in jail, I haven't ended up in the hospital (I just did last week, actually), I haven't done this and I haven't done that." And she gave me this "knowing" look, and just said, "YET." That was a real "light bulb" moment for me.
It's good you're thinking about these things and taking them seriously. Good on ya. Make the right decision before any of those "yets" come true.
It's good you're thinking about these things and taking them seriously. Good on ya. Make the right decision before any of those "yets" come true.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Have you asked your family how they really feel about your drinking? Or are you guessing?
What's your pattern? - Rethinking Drinking - NIAAA
What's your pattern? - Rethinking Drinking - NIAAA
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Hi Skip 2, I do not know if you spontaneosly decided to make that list but very nice
work. On the West coast more particularly Oregon and Wash. many sponsors have us
make such a list for step one. Mine was a list of not only instances, as you have done,
that make me think that I am poweless over alcohol but also a list of unmanagability.
Your NAILING IT as it takes work and
much reflection to recover.
work. On the West coast more particularly Oregon and Wash. many sponsors have us
make such a list for step one. Mine was a list of not only instances, as you have done,
that make me think that I am poweless over alcohol but also a list of unmanagability.
Your NAILING IT as it takes work and
much reflection to recover.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
I think this is was a really good exercise to go through. I think it will be enlightening to see what your therapist has to say about it since he/she invariably knows you better than any of us.
Keep up the soul searching, it's healthy.
Keep up the soul searching, it's healthy.
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