Blameless inventory
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Blameless inventory
I discovered that concept in this forum in January; thank you Jason and Willybluedog: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sentments.html
I saw my therapist yesterday and his ears perked up when I started talking about it.
I had done a blameless inventory with every negative incident in my life, whether it was done by others or myself. I decided to do one sentence summaries. Just the facts, ma'am, and thank goodness because I'm sick of the blame game.
My therapist stresses the need for addict/enabler to own their disease/issues, and so did my daughter's rehab a few years ago. Yesterday, he told me that by doing a blameless inventory, I was "owning" more than just my issues, I was owning my entire life. Everything that has happened in my life is my life.
He shared something with me about another client (unnamed of course):
She had been raped decades ago, but would never say the word. She was able to describe what happened to her, but afterward always referred to it as "when that happened." He would say the actual word when she did, and she'd ask him to stop saying it. He told her he'd continue to say it until she did, because until she owned it, it owned her. It still had power over her.
He closed our session with "until you own the events in your life, they own you. They have power over you. Ownership changes everything." Then I quoted my signature and we shared a beautiful smile of understanding
I can't change the things that have happened in my life but, by owning them as being a part of my life, I'm able to change my today, my future.
No person/event has power over me. Not today, and not ever again.
I saw my therapist yesterday and his ears perked up when I started talking about it.
I had done a blameless inventory with every negative incident in my life, whether it was done by others or myself. I decided to do one sentence summaries. Just the facts, ma'am, and thank goodness because I'm sick of the blame game.
My therapist stresses the need for addict/enabler to own their disease/issues, and so did my daughter's rehab a few years ago. Yesterday, he told me that by doing a blameless inventory, I was "owning" more than just my issues, I was owning my entire life. Everything that has happened in my life is my life.
He shared something with me about another client (unnamed of course):
She had been raped decades ago, but would never say the word. She was able to describe what happened to her, but afterward always referred to it as "when that happened." He would say the actual word when she did, and she'd ask him to stop saying it. He told her he'd continue to say it until she did, because until she owned it, it owned her. It still had power over her.
He closed our session with "until you own the events in your life, they own you. They have power over you. Ownership changes everything." Then I quoted my signature and we shared a beautiful smile of understanding
I can't change the things that have happened in my life but, by owning them as being a part of my life, I'm able to change my today, my future.
No person/event has power over me. Not today, and not ever again.
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