veryfrustrated

What do you do when your AH keeps putting your son in the middle? I feel so lost and feel like this situation is not in my control at all. Interestingly enough, he only had a few beers in him tonight when he did this, but may just be hung over from yesterday. I have been ignoring his actions and not letting him get me agitated with the things he is saying to me. Like I said in a previous post "Kids in the Middle" I had to take my son away from him because I was afraid that he would get hurt because AH was too drunk to properly watch him. This morning he claims it is all my fault and I am just being spiteful. He spent all day being extremely nasty to me and the more I didn't respond the nastier he got. I spent the evening playing with my kids, making dinner and doing other household stuff and just ignoring him. As I was putting my daughter in bed this evening he came in and threw his wedding ring at me. I simply ignored it and didn't respond at all. As I was ironing my clothes for work tomorrow he came in with our 3 year old son and said to him, "when daddy isn't around anymore, you know it's mommy's fault". My son started crying saying he didn't want him to leave, and I begged AH to please stop doing this to our child, and he said that he just hates me so much and it's my fault. So, now it's my fault that he said that to our son. Are you kidding me? There is NOTHING that is not my fault. I regained my compusure and left the room, but he knew he got a rise out of me at that point, which seems is what he was trying to do the whole weekend. Now what do I do? This situation is so messed up and it is absouletly breaking my heart to see him indirectly hurting our son to hurt me. He is actually starting to scare me with the things he is saying. It is like he is out of his mind. I don't know what to do or think at this point. I don't know how to handle this, I really don't. How is it that he can't see how very wrong it is to do that to our child. No matter how mad or frustrated or hurt I am by AH I NEVER say anything bad about him to our son. It is just not right. I don't know if he is just so flustered because I am ignoring his behavior and refuse to engage in an argument with him at this point or what it is, but I can't keep letting him say things like that to our son. i just don't know what to do.....

celticgenes

Have you considered leaving? To a friend, relative, motel, shelter? If he is scaring you, it's something you might want to consider.

Sorry it's so shi**y right now. You sound strong, you can make a good decision!

Thelma

Although I have no children I recognize the signs of what your AH is doing. If he can't engage you with a simple arguement he's going to use any means he can to get a rise out of you and yes that includes your children because he knows he can push that button. When we decide to separate ourselves from the petty squabbles they try to engage us in they find something near and dear to our hearts so it's a surefire way to make us stand up and take notice or fight. Take your babies and get out of there. Get temporary protective custody and a restraining order. Take time to decide your next move without having him constantly banging at your emotional door. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids.