Enough is enough...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 6
Enough is enough...
Hi all.
Day two of my fresh attempt at sobriety. An 11-day stretch at Xmas was the longest period I have been dry in my adult life.
A bit about me:
I have always had a very addictive personality. In my younger days, I experimented with just about every substance I could get my hands on. Luckily, I naturally calmed down with most things in my mid-20s, but alcohol remained with me.
I am now 35, and although I am not the kind of alcoholic who wakes up and has to have a drink for breakfast, I just do not have an off switch once I do start.
Lately, I've noticed an escalation, and it's not uncommon for me to have 12-18 30ml shots in the form of cocktails (my usual choice) on most nights of the week.
Needless to say, this translates to severe anxiety/depression and many EXTREMELY long days at work, dwelling on guilt and frustration and avoiding human contact at all costs
In the last year, I have also been diagnosed with multiple health issues (severe diverticulitis, rheumatic disease etc) and I am convinced that this is all connected. During my last attempt, I noticed most of my symptoms diminished greatly, or disappeared completely, only to return when I picked up the bottle again.
Anyhow, I am now feeling positive that I am ready to say "enough is enough". Drinking is no longer working for me on either a physical or mental level. I have no illusions about the difficulty in maintaining sobriety, but I know it's likely to be easier with the support of others going through it
Looking forward to sharing the struggle with you guys. Will try to check in daily.
Day two of my fresh attempt at sobriety. An 11-day stretch at Xmas was the longest period I have been dry in my adult life.
A bit about me:
I have always had a very addictive personality. In my younger days, I experimented with just about every substance I could get my hands on. Luckily, I naturally calmed down with most things in my mid-20s, but alcohol remained with me.
I am now 35, and although I am not the kind of alcoholic who wakes up and has to have a drink for breakfast, I just do not have an off switch once I do start.
Lately, I've noticed an escalation, and it's not uncommon for me to have 12-18 30ml shots in the form of cocktails (my usual choice) on most nights of the week.
Needless to say, this translates to severe anxiety/depression and many EXTREMELY long days at work, dwelling on guilt and frustration and avoiding human contact at all costs
In the last year, I have also been diagnosed with multiple health issues (severe diverticulitis, rheumatic disease etc) and I am convinced that this is all connected. During my last attempt, I noticed most of my symptoms diminished greatly, or disappeared completely, only to return when I picked up the bottle again.
Anyhow, I am now feeling positive that I am ready to say "enough is enough". Drinking is no longer working for me on either a physical or mental level. I have no illusions about the difficulty in maintaining sobriety, but I know it's likely to be easier with the support of others going through it
Looking forward to sharing the struggle with you guys. Will try to check in daily.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Welcome my friend. Your drinking sounds A LOT like mine... I am also 35 years old. I'd average 10-15 50ml 100 proof shots with some beer as a chaser on weeknights... and when I went to work on weekends I'd bring about 5 of em with me just to get through my shifts. I'd feel like crap just about ALL the time except for maybe the first 20-30 minutes that I started drinking. I would wake up 3-4 times per night and was ALWAYS tired. My last drink was 9 days ago almost to the hour. I suffered horribly from withdrawals all week long but I think my body is finally fighting back. You can stop I promise you. I feel completely different even in this short amount of time. A lot better than I did. I feel like I need to continue to work at this now though since I didn't just quit because of how it made my body feel but also my mind. I plan to attend AA meetings as often as I can and find a sponsor this week. Gotta help my mind and spirit as well as my body ya know? Try to remember that each drink is poison to you... it will only bring you down!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 471
Welcome!! I'm about your age and I really believe now is the time to be done for good! I don't know about you but once I hit 30, I just felt like a ticking bomb. I knew that I couldn't keep going the way I was and expect no health issues to manifest. I'm glad to hear that you're committed to sobriety! SR is a wonderful site full of caring people. I'm sure you will find it useful. Glad to have you with us!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
SoberSafari, welcome to the team, glad to have you aboard. Your drinking habits are almost exactly the same as mine, with 12-15 oz of liquor a night, with some more on the weekends. I didn't have the physical diagnoses you mentioned, but my mental state was such that I was unable to work for six months. During those dark days of depression and anxiety, I had lots of time to drink, and I did. My anti D medications were ramped up and up, with no improvement in my mood. It was suggested that I limit my drinking (HA!).
My family situation deteriorated rapidly. I came to my crisis point for a number of reasons, and decided that a lot of things were going to change, and that I didn't deserve this life that I was living. I dumped the liquor and got it all, including the empties, out of the house. I was determined that I would not drink again.
How did it go? I still am determined, and sober. My last drink was 28 weeks ago, and I feel better than I have in 30 years. I made a commitment to myself and my future and decided that I was stronger than any rotten urge I could ever have. I decided I would do whatever it might take to make this as easy on me as possible, because I was going to make this happen.
There is support here for you, SoberSafari, of any variety you choose. Take what you need from us, and more importantly, take what you need from yourself to give back the life you are stealing from yourself. Keep posting, we are pulling for you!
My family situation deteriorated rapidly. I came to my crisis point for a number of reasons, and decided that a lot of things were going to change, and that I didn't deserve this life that I was living. I dumped the liquor and got it all, including the empties, out of the house. I was determined that I would not drink again.
How did it go? I still am determined, and sober. My last drink was 28 weeks ago, and I feel better than I have in 30 years. I made a commitment to myself and my future and decided that I was stronger than any rotten urge I could ever have. I decided I would do whatever it might take to make this as easy on me as possible, because I was going to make this happen.
There is support here for you, SoberSafari, of any variety you choose. Take what you need from us, and more importantly, take what you need from yourself to give back the life you are stealing from yourself. Keep posting, we are pulling for you!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Good job for realizing what you need to do. You won't crash & burn later in life like many of us did. I wish I'd seen the light at 35 - I could have avoided so much pain.
Glad to have you with us sobersafari. Let us know how it's going. We want to help.
Glad to have you with us sobersafari. Let us know how it's going. We want to help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Glad you are here!
I can relate to those drinking patterns. Once I started, I usually drank till I blacked out. Then I would come to in the morning with terrible hangovers, and terrible guilt.
It doesn't have to be that way anymore.
Wishing you the best.
God bless.
I can relate to those drinking patterns. Once I started, I usually drank till I blacked out. Then I would come to in the morning with terrible hangovers, and terrible guilt.
It doesn't have to be that way anymore.
Wishing you the best.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome Sobersafari! My story is quite similar too except I rarely drank cocktails 
I got plenty of depression/anxiety though and the health problems too. I think it's less to do with your 30's being the age to sort stuff out but rather that's the time that serious health problems start showing themselves when you've been drinking most of your life. I was told that I'm young enough to reverse the damage I've done (hopefully) and I hope the same will be true for you. Incidentally you're right about your symptoms disappearing or diminishing when you quit, I'm 2 weeks sober and all my physical symptoms have gone, and as my username suggests I was a bit of a state when I first got here. Best of luck to you.
I got plenty of depression/anxiety though and the health problems too. I think it's less to do with your 30's being the age to sort stuff out but rather that's the time that serious health problems start showing themselves when you've been drinking most of your life. I was told that I'm young enough to reverse the damage I've done (hopefully) and I hope the same will be true for you. Incidentally you're right about your symptoms disappearing or diminishing when you quit, I'm 2 weeks sober and all my physical symptoms have gone, and as my username suggests I was a bit of a state when I first got here. Best of luck to you.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Welcome, the journey continues. I did not take my problem seriously until later in life. The drinking gets worse over time, I guess you know that by now.
It can be hard for the first while but it is worth it.
It can be hard for the first while but it is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Welcome Sobersafari,
Good to hear you are wanting to give up.
I am over 9 months sober with the support of this group and AA. Besides this grop what other support or program do you have? I ask this because I found it impossible to do it alone, especially at the beginning.
All the best
CaiHong
Good to hear you are wanting to give up.
I am over 9 months sober with the support of this group and AA. Besides this grop what other support or program do you have? I ask this because I found it impossible to do it alone, especially at the beginning.
All the best
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Sydney, NSW
Posts: 128
Welcome mate....Pretty much exactly the same boat here. Same age and just up the road too. not the Cocktails, but the rest of the story is me, and a lot of us I would say.
Good luck, coming here seems to be a big help, so stick around!
Good luck, coming here seems to be a big help, so stick around!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 42
Welcome! I am two weeks sober today and am so happy to wake up and be able to have a cup of coffee and some breakfast to start my day. I was the same way, I couldn't just have one or two drinks, I had 20-30, working in a bar didn't help. The problem was, If I talked to you ********* drunk, nobody would have a clue I was wasted, yet, the next day I didn't remember anything. I don't know how many times I've watched the same movie and still couldn't tell you what happened. I got tired of people calling me a drunk and alcoholic. I am going to change it and not look back. 
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