Please welcome happiness1234
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Please welcome happiness1234
(Laurie, I copied your welcome)
Please welcome happiness1234, here the 1st post in another thread:
I married my alcoholic boyfriend (now husband)last year. We have a 1 month old baby and nothing has changed-when we found out I was pregnant he told me that he was going to change and do right by his son. Where is my husband now you ask? He is out right now drinking and came home called me a "stupid bitch" among other things and then left again. He has hinted more than once that he is going to buy a life insurance policy so that his son will be set in case anything happens to him. He says that I derserve better, but if I ever leave and take his son away from him, that he would not be able to live. I am in a living hell- I am on maternity leave and almost every day has become about taking care of my newborn and also worrying about my husband. I thought things would change as well as he promised. His dad was an alcoholic and user and just passed a few weeks ago. My husband is following in his footsteps. I pray for my son's health and happiness. I need courage to leave but have been able to hide his issues from friends and family for years. I am scared that something will happen to him if my son and I do leave. How do I rid myself of the guilt?
I am so thankful I found this forum- thank you all for listening.
Happiness1234 I am glad you joined SR, a forum full of wonderful people sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope.
Please welcome happiness1234, here the 1st post in another thread:
I married my alcoholic boyfriend (now husband)last year. We have a 1 month old baby and nothing has changed-when we found out I was pregnant he told me that he was going to change and do right by his son. Where is my husband now you ask? He is out right now drinking and came home called me a "stupid bitch" among other things and then left again. He has hinted more than once that he is going to buy a life insurance policy so that his son will be set in case anything happens to him. He says that I derserve better, but if I ever leave and take his son away from him, that he would not be able to live. I am in a living hell- I am on maternity leave and almost every day has become about taking care of my newborn and also worrying about my husband. I thought things would change as well as he promised. His dad was an alcoholic and user and just passed a few weeks ago. My husband is following in his footsteps. I pray for my son's health and happiness. I need courage to leave but have been able to hide his issues from friends and family for years. I am scared that something will happen to him if my son and I do leave. How do I rid myself of the guilt?
I am so thankful I found this forum- thank you all for listening.
Happiness1234 I am glad you joined SR, a forum full of wonderful people sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your comments. My husband came home last night raging. Thank goodness he did not harm me or our son. He finally passed out and I was up every few hours feeding the baby. This morning, it is a whole different story. He is as cool as a cucumber, we did morning prayers and he is a regular person- I cannot let today make me forget what happened yesterday. This board will help me to stay strong and do the right thing. Thank you all for your support and I am glad that I can provide support and an ear to listen to everyone else on here as well.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Mpls., MN
Posts: 20
Please Welcome Happiness12345
Welcome Happiness1234,
It is good that you have some understanding of alcoholism. I did not. I had to go through a whole lot more to get to where you are.
A person in AA told me that this is a cycle, this thing where they drink, then they are a whole new person or a lot nicer and then they start to get irritable and then we, my A and I usually get into a fight about something, he gets very honery, and then, he drinks and it starts all over. I always thought that when he said he was sorry the day after his big nite out drinking and me being upset when he came in that it would change, he said he would change the next morning. I was so tired with work and kids that I could not see this cycle or maybe I was just hoping it was really going to change. That man helped me see this and I am grateful.
Finally I expressed this to a counselor and she said after seeing me on three separate occations, go to Al-anon and do not come back to see me until you do. I went to Al-anon and have not gone back to see her but I sure got an education.
There is a lot of help here, also, I can see that.
Best wishes on your journey.
tiredoftryin
It is good that you have some understanding of alcoholism. I did not. I had to go through a whole lot more to get to where you are.
A person in AA told me that this is a cycle, this thing where they drink, then they are a whole new person or a lot nicer and then they start to get irritable and then we, my A and I usually get into a fight about something, he gets very honery, and then, he drinks and it starts all over. I always thought that when he said he was sorry the day after his big nite out drinking and me being upset when he came in that it would change, he said he would change the next morning. I was so tired with work and kids that I could not see this cycle or maybe I was just hoping it was really going to change. That man helped me see this and I am grateful.
Finally I expressed this to a counselor and she said after seeing me on three separate occations, go to Al-anon and do not come back to see me until you do. I went to Al-anon and have not gone back to see her but I sure got an education.
There is a lot of help here, also, I can see that.
Best wishes on your journey.
tiredoftryin
Last edited by tiredoftryin; 03-12-2012 at 07:09 AM. Reason: punctuation and spelling
IsItAlright
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: rainbow
Posts: 157
A person in AA told me that this is a cycle, this thing where they drink, then they are a whole new person or a lot nicer and then they start to get irritable and then we, my A and I usually get into a fight about something, he gets very honery, and then, he drinks and it starts all over.
The cycle sounds so familiar!!!
In my case, that crazy lifecycle got shorter and more intense and more frequent. "it's progressive' as many people mentioned in the other posts. It drove me crazy and emotionally breakdown. I never experienced this Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing before...
:-(
The cycle sounds so familiar!!!
In my case, that crazy lifecycle got shorter and more intense and more frequent. "it's progressive' as many people mentioned in the other posts. It drove me crazy and emotionally breakdown. I never experienced this Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde thing before...
:-(
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
My husband did the Jekyl/Hyde thing too. He would be so very cool to me and stonewall me when he was drinking. The next day he'd act like everything was fine! It made me feel like *I* was the one with a problem, or even that I had become mentally unstable! Finally I got help in the form of Al Anon and the SR forums and I realized that my experience was typical.
You have a child now and your allegiance and responsibility is to him and not your husband. Do whatever it takes to keep you and your baby both physically and mentally/emotionally safe. It does not get better, it gets worse. Do you have a safe place to go (parents, friends) and stay if you need it?
You have a child now and your allegiance and responsibility is to him and not your husband. Do whatever it takes to keep you and your baby both physically and mentally/emotionally safe. It does not get better, it gets worse. Do you have a safe place to go (parents, friends) and stay if you need it?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome Happiness1234! What a great name - hope it is what you find in your future.
Keep reading and posting here - this place is full of great people, wisdom, and resources. It has been a life saver for me.
~T
Keep reading and posting here - this place is full of great people, wisdom, and resources. It has been a life saver for me.
~T
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 90
Hi Happiness. I grew up with alcoholic parents and it really REALLY messed me up in the head. My dad would always start raging at us for no reason and he was extremely violent. I hope you make the right decision and think about how your son will be affected growing up and watching his father in his current state.
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