Holly7

Hi I'm Dona and new to this recovery forum. I am hoping to use this as one of my tool's for recovery/sobriety. I am 53 years old and struggling with relapses. I was in treatment in January for 29 days, went home on day 30 and got 30 day chip. On day 31 I relapsed...picked myself up and tried again...10 days and relapse...5 days relapse and now again day 2. I go to AA meetings, share, read in the BB and just recently found a sponsor...but I struggle to pick up that 500 lb. phone when the craving/obsession overcomes my mind - the insanity comes back and before I know it heading to the liquor store when I truly don't want to drink, but still do. I have 2 sons who were happy I went to treatment, but now see that I have fallen so many times and have lost faith in me. I truly want sobriety and know in my heart it is one minute at a time and to truly starting having faith in my HP. I'm just wondering how many of you ought there struggled to finally stay sober.....lost in Wyoming.

Holly7

Hey dona

I'm on day 5 sober and this is the my first time getting sober, I hope its my first and final time to stay sober. Others will be along shortly to welcome you and share their experiences. Good luck with your sobriety.

Holly

sugarbear1

Dona, I hear you. Sounds like your consequences of drinking are minimal and alcohol is still working for you. Please don't wait for your health to all of a sudden have a problem because of drinking.

Alcohol was what I used to deal with life. Now, I use the steps of AA. If you aren't willing to go to any lengths to stay stopped, AA won't work. We need to have a clear mind, or at least an alcohol free mind.

What makes you want to drink? Is it emotions? Events? Dealing with people? Your higher power has faith in you, but you must want something different.

How old are your sons?

I'll be 51 in April. This will be my first sober birthday in a long time. I also relapsed time and time again! I just searched "Back to Basics" but Wyoming doesn't have those meetings. They do have a teleconference phone meeting. Do a search: aa wyoming back to basics. I did find a friend who runs meetings near me, so I will talk to her about any information available. Back to Basics can take a person through the steps quickly. First the drink must be put down.

Until you decide to stay stopped and NOT pick up a drink, use that 500 lb. phone and talk to another alcoholic, you will stay stuck.

I wish you sobriety,

Hevyn

Hi Dona! You're not alone in doing those things - I did too. I'm older, and it took me a lifetime to get it right and stop all together. I kept insisting I could use willpower to control what I drank & almost lost my life proving it was impossible.

You sound motivated and determined to kick this thing. We know you can do it. I'm glad you found us - we're all in this together, and we care about you.

donaleam

Thank you Sugarbear - my drinking has had it's consequences....25+ years, 4 DUI's, loss of jobs, list could go on and on...you are right about AA and wanting sobriety bad enough to go to any length.....for now I know I'm leaving moment by moment, day by day....

My sons are 33 and 35 - and have seen many of my drunken performances. With this last slip I made a drunk phone call to my youngest and didn't say very nice things to him and his girl...they have told me to go to....which he has a 7 month old baby boy (my grandson) that they are holding against me as they say forever.

I just need to get to a meeting and call my sponsor......and am getting some inspirations from this forum.

Thanks again for the advice

eh1988

Hi donna, welcome to SR! I think all of us have struggled with relapses, some more than others, that's why we all come here to help each other with sobriety. I know how hard it is to pick up the phone and ask for help, everytime I've asked for help with sobriety it has backfired on me, people who never struggled with addiction have no idea how hard it can be for an alcoholic to stop drinking. So that is why I'm using this site as an alternative, as well as only keeping it between my 5 very close friends and immediate members of my family. I feel more comfortable if less people know, I feel a lot less stress to fail. Eventually when I feel comfortable I will notify the rest of the people that should know. This is my 3rd attempt at sobriety and it's so far been more successful and less stressful than my other 2 attempts. 2 weeks ago I didn't see an end in sight for my alcoholism, now I'm on day 11 and I don't see an end in sight with my sobriety. It may not seem like much but it's the longest I've gone without alcohol in nearly 3 years, I just know in my heart and in my mind that this is it, this is my time for sobriety. I know that you can do it and you can feel the same way too, especially considering you've done 30 days not too long ago. Use SR as your crutch, I PROMISE it helps, just keep coming back and talking to us, joining in forums, you will learn a lot and it may just help you maintain sobriety . Best wishes!

Firehazard

Hi Donna and Here

I have had the same experience in the past with that 500Lb. phone. The

trick for me and others have been to pick it up and use it before that

craving/obsession takes over. Talking with a

sponsor you trust helps get rid of alot of that tension and small problems

during the day. This time try getting a phone list and calling everyone on it.

Just to say hello if nothing.

else.

sugarbear1

I sent you a private message! When you can find it

Between practicing talking to others on the phone and working the steps, today I am really nice to people on the phone, it's cool to have a little chat with those people who have to deal with angry people all day long!

Sending sunshine through ol' Graham Bell's lines.... wait, do they now belong to Bill Gates, satellites or the internet gods?

Sapling

Hey Dona...My sponsor had me call everyone on the list I had...Just to say hello and I looked forward to anything I could learn from them in the future...Now I just call them because they are friends...Its all in the 12 steps Dona...That is the solution...That is the program of recovery...I only go to meetings because I love them...

sissy07

dona,

Welcome to SR!

artsoul

Welcome Dona - Glad you're joining us!

You're not the only one to struggle at first - those cravings and urges can really seem overwhelming. I had to remind myself over and over why I quit and reinforce it constantly....... I spent the first week here just reading and soaking up the inspiration.

Hang in there - over time it really will get easier and you'll be so glad you got through this stage!