ventura47

Im 47 and go on five week binges of everyday drinking until I get physically sick, then I stop. I have no friends and dont go to meetings although I have more than 300 at least, I dont like to share, I am unemployed, I have sober parents that live in the next town, but I cant see them too often because I dont want to know I am drinking. My boyfriend hates the person I am when I drink. Each time I stop I go through a physical transformation, I will have severe abdominal pain with lots of intestinal problems, my skin gets scabs all over and my face withdraws and I look 67. If I stop drinking I slowly get over my stomach problems my skin fills out, my head clears up, then I look 45. Why would I want to put myself through this torture time and time again. So here I go again, this is day two. I feel alot better but I still look 67. Wish me luck on this one, I dont think I would survive another relapse. I will go to meetings just to be around other people and hopefully take away positive feelings.

Nirvana1

Hey Ventura. Do you have any sort of plan for recovery? What can you do differently from the last time you tried to get sober?

Sapling

Welcome ventura47...Sorry to hear what you are going through...If you want to continue that AA route...You can have 10.000 meetings and it won't guarantee you long term contented sobriety...You need to get a sponsor and work the 12 steps...That is the suggested program of recovery...It may just be a suggestion...But it's the only one they got...

eh1988

Hey Ventura. (what a great city, been up there a couple times for vacation). Well you said it yourself, you won't survive another relapse. So it's time to stop, no more messing around, this is your life we're talking about. SR is a great place for support, you should also try getting to an AA meeting (I know they have plenty in Ventura) and actually sharing your story, as well as getting a sponsor.

sugarbear1

Going to meetings can help you. I strongly urge you to talk to someone after the meeting, maybe go out for some coffee and just talk. Yeah, it's out of our comfort zone, but it's going to help you so much!

I wish you well! Stick around!

SomethingBetter

Truth is I might not survive another one either, over a year ago there was nothing I could do to get over a few days sober, I tricked my body into thinking it needed alcohol to survive when it’s actually poison.

I’m not going to tell you an easy way to quit because there isn’t one, I often consider alcoholism like 2 huge super magnets, (The Active Drinking Mind) ~ (Alcohol) the force is strong and sometimes seems just easier to not pull them apart, to do it another day, when I am ready, but more times than not that cycle will continue on with the same force day after day, year after year, it did for me.

Congrats on 2 the days, I wish you the best, this is a possible journey, just like those 2 magnets can be turned a certain way to push apart from each other.

2granddaughters

It's amazing how bad we have to get before AA starts looking good.....

AA will be there for you Ventura, you'll just have to show up and say "Help me !!"

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

Anna

I know that very early recovery is hard and you feel sick and don't look great. But, it will get better. You can change your life for the better. I hope that you continue to work on your recovery.

Dee74

welcome back Ventura

I hope whatever you add to your programme this time will be the thing that makes the difference

D

saphira

I know how hard it is to stop that horrible cycle! I also know that you can do it! Best of luck...