high functioning alcoholic experiences some difficulties
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high functioning alcoholic experiences some difficulties
...from another forum
She died alone. She was found at 4.00 am by the local police dead in her chair. There was a pool of blood off to one side and the flat was littered with industrial strength bottles of South African wine. There were unopened letters and un cashed cheques lying around. The house was dirty in the extreme. The bathroom was covered in vomit and blood and the kitchen was a complete health hazard. She had a young cat which was poorly fed and dehydrated.
She had numerous health problems, 3 ankle fractures, one very serious, numerous old rib fractures, a serious head injury coupled with the wet brain symptoms. She had end stage liver disease with blood clotting problems and a history of stomach bleeding. Initial cause of death is brain haemorrhage:final results wont be known for a few weeks. She walked with a stick and needed someone with her if she went out.
She had a PHD in microelectronics and developed a computer program for testing silicon chips way back in the early days. This work has allowed us to have the high tech gear we have today. She had a genius level IQ. She also wrote the software for an 80 lead ECG machine which has revolutionised the diagnosis of heart attacks especially round the back of the heart. There was an article about it recently in the daily mail ( I think).
Her drinking drove everyone away, as it does in every case eventually. She was in her early 50's ...... Pass this on to anyone who needs to read this.
She died alone. She was found at 4.00 am by the local police dead in her chair. There was a pool of blood off to one side and the flat was littered with industrial strength bottles of South African wine. There were unopened letters and un cashed cheques lying around. The house was dirty in the extreme. The bathroom was covered in vomit and blood and the kitchen was a complete health hazard. She had a young cat which was poorly fed and dehydrated.
She had numerous health problems, 3 ankle fractures, one very serious, numerous old rib fractures, a serious head injury coupled with the wet brain symptoms. She had end stage liver disease with blood clotting problems and a history of stomach bleeding. Initial cause of death is brain haemorrhage:final results wont be known for a few weeks. She walked with a stick and needed someone with her if she went out.
She had a PHD in microelectronics and developed a computer program for testing silicon chips way back in the early days. This work has allowed us to have the high tech gear we have today. She had a genius level IQ. She also wrote the software for an 80 lead ECG machine which has revolutionised the diagnosis of heart attacks especially round the back of the heart. There was an article about it recently in the daily mail ( I think).
Her drinking drove everyone away, as it does in every case eventually. She was in her early 50's ...... Pass this on to anyone who needs to read this.
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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That is not a pleasent picture in my head, man what a way to go/be remembered. Thanks for the thought of where this road can lead to, no one really wants that. I think sometimes I might but man just the way I picture it I don't think I could.
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I don't find ends like these too sad any longer, though I did early on in sobriety. Would anyone really be cruel enough to wish her life had been longer?
Sounds as if she had stopped involving others in her misery, so she was getting by in the finest alcoholic way possible and not busting up anyone's ankles, heads, or ribs but her own. And back when she could function she did well in her field, and was once a person of note. Many of us never reach those heights even once, so she had her day before going on and burning everyone out who cared about her.
She was probably a very interesting person once. As a wet brain with everything traded away to alcohol, less so.
Not sure if there's any worthwhile understanding available from her end. That drunks die pitifully is no surprise to anyone. There's a small and passing flash of gladness I was and have remained willing to do a few things to avoid also travelling that path toward that end. And of course she could have done some things to alter this had she been willing to, so no pity from me.
Sounds as if she had stopped involving others in her misery, so she was getting by in the finest alcoholic way possible and not busting up anyone's ankles, heads, or ribs but her own. And back when she could function she did well in her field, and was once a person of note. Many of us never reach those heights even once, so she had her day before going on and burning everyone out who cared about her.
She was probably a very interesting person once. As a wet brain with everything traded away to alcohol, less so.
Not sure if there's any worthwhile understanding available from her end. That drunks die pitifully is no surprise to anyone. There's a small and passing flash of gladness I was and have remained willing to do a few things to avoid also travelling that path toward that end. And of course she could have done some things to alter this had she been willing to, so no pity from me.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
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Originally Posted by langkah 
I don't find ends like these too sad any longer, though I did early on in sobriety. Would anyone really be cruel enough to wish her life had been longer?
Sounds as if she had stopped involving others in her misery, so she was getting by in the finest alcoholic way possible and not busting up anyone's ankles, heads, or ribs but her own. And back when she could function she did well in her field, and was once a person of note. Many of us never reach those heights even once, so she had her day before going on and burning everyone out who cared about her.
She was probably a very interesting person once. As a wet brain with everything traded away to alcohol, less so.
Not sure if there's any worthwhile understanding available from her end. That drunks die pitifully is no surprise to anyone. There's a small and passing flash of gladness I was and have remained willing to do a few things to avoid also travelling that path toward that end. And of course she could have done some things to alter this had she been willing to, so no pity from me.
Sounds as if she had stopped involving others in her misery, so she was getting by in the finest alcoholic way possible and not busting up anyone's ankles, heads, or ribs but her own. And back when she could function she did well in her field, and was once a person of note. Many of us never reach those heights even once, so she had her day before going on and burning everyone out who cared about her.
She was probably a very interesting person once. As a wet brain with everything traded away to alcohol, less so.
Not sure if there's any worthwhile understanding available from her end. That drunks die pitifully is no surprise to anyone. There's a small and passing flash of gladness I was and have remained willing to do a few things to avoid also travelling that path toward that end. And of course she could have done some things to alter this had she been willing to, so no pity from me.
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Originally Posted by langkah
so no pity from me.
Its cold I know and I am not saying I agree just that I think I understand, part of my own ambivalence is being able to see both sides of an argument but not being able to decide which is right all of the time.
I am getting off topic and will stop.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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I find this story incredibly sad. Some are sicker than others. With her high intelligence and seemingly successful early life, her life getting to this point was such a contrast to how she had been living and what she was doing with her life that she was probably more miserable than "the average guy". It is difficult to live the high life and then lose it. She most certainly realized what she was doing and absolutely could not stop it. My biggest nightmare.....one that I have been lucky enough to live through so far, and look back on in somber amazement of how low we can go. Heartbreaking.
Adventures In SpaceTime
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Originally Posted by InsertNameHere
Actually in defense of Langka here I can see (his/her?) point. The person chose that even if it is horrible, and at least she wasn't "directly" hurting anyone else, I am sure there are family and friends that are devastated and I would feel bad for them. But depending on your point of view this person was successful, smart, and at one time capable of helping herself or getting help from an outside source but didn't. I am sure that she knew what that she was going to die and just kept on going. Maybe if someone had literally kicked in the door and dragged her to an ER and then stood over her for the rest of her life this could have been avoided but then you are sacrificing two people for the cost of one. Of course the same argument can be made for any form of suicide, it all depends on your individual level of empathy. I know a few people that I have heard say they feel no pity for people that have done something as stupid as kill themselves. This is a little bit more of a pickle due to the "cloud" of alcoholism because we do not know if she would have made the same decision if she got sober. Regardless that is an ugly way to go.
Its cold I know and I am not saying I agree just that I think I understand, part of my own ambivalence is being able to see both sides of an argument but not being able to decide which is right all of the time.
I am getting off topic and will stop.
Its cold I know and I am not saying I agree just that I think I understand, part of my own ambivalence is being able to see both sides of an argument but not being able to decide which is right all of the time.
I am getting off topic and will stop.
Alcoholism kills people dead. Its not always about choice and it is foolish to believe that every alcoholic who dies drunk had right up to the day they died a choice to stop drinking alcoholically.
I am amazed how often people who are early in quitting talk as if they have the understanding of actually either successfully quitting or of dying drunk when in fact they have neither experience. None of us can give what we don't have. I wish you every success, INH, to fully experience quitting and not the alternative. Believe me, alcoholics can run out of choices...
langkah of course has experience successfully quitting and of being as close to being dead from alcoholism as possible without actually being dead and drunk.
Random Guy
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
I am amazed how often people who are early in quitting talk as if they have the understanding of actually either successfully quitting or of dying drunk when in fact they have neither experience. None of us can give what we don't have.
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
I wish you every success, INH, to fully experience quitting and not the alternative. Believe me, alcoholics can run out of choices...
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I wrote my last comment to remove the possibility that the deluded might see anything positive to identify with in this situation from a romantic, wistfully self-pitying and tragically heroic viewpoint. The staunchly determined individual living as she pleased in defiance of society norms and values.
I see just misery stuck to bones for the transportation benefits.
If you posessed the power, would you wish for her 2 more years of her existence?
Very seriously, I would hope no one here would be so cruel and unfeeling to want to crap on her that way out of a false and misguided sense of kindness. That she gave out relatively young was a huge gift under the circumstances.
I sometimes speak too directly. It's not my intent to interfere with how badly people suddenly want to feel regarding this woman. Given that no one cared at all for when she was still alive it probably does her even less good at this late point, but who am I to say?
There are some newcomers that are still moving and breathing and posting. Why not focus on them instead of one who finally got a lasting sobriety date the hardest way? On the bright side, perhaps she's now in heaven picking up her very first 24 hour chip.
I see just misery stuck to bones for the transportation benefits.
If you posessed the power, would you wish for her 2 more years of her existence?
Very seriously, I would hope no one here would be so cruel and unfeeling to want to crap on her that way out of a false and misguided sense of kindness. That she gave out relatively young was a huge gift under the circumstances.
I sometimes speak too directly. It's not my intent to interfere with how badly people suddenly want to feel regarding this woman. Given that no one cared at all for when she was still alive it probably does her even less good at this late point, but who am I to say?
There are some newcomers that are still moving and breathing and posting. Why not focus on them instead of one who finally got a lasting sobriety date the hardest way? On the bright side, perhaps she's now in heaven picking up her very first 24 hour chip.
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"There are some newcomers that are still moving and breathing and posting. Why not focus on them instead of one who finally got a lasting sobriety date the hardest way?"
Langvah, I understand what you are saying, but I am glad you posted this story. It not only makes me very sad, but also reminds me of what can happen when alcoholism goes untreated, and reinforces to me that I should always have respect for how serious drinking is for the alcoholic - kind of like reading successful sobriety stories that illustrate how being sober can improve life.
Langvah, I understand what you are saying, but I am glad you posted this story. It not only makes me very sad, but also reminds me of what can happen when alcoholism goes untreated, and reinforces to me that I should always have respect for how serious drinking is for the alcoholic - kind of like reading successful sobriety stories that illustrate how being sober can improve life.
Adventures In SpaceTime
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Originally Posted by langkah
I wrote my last comment to remove the possibility that the deluded might see anything positive to identify with in this situation from a romantic, wistfully self-pitying and tragically heroic viewpoint. The staunchly determined individual living as she pleased in defiance of society norms and values.
I'm not one much for attempting scaring folks into reality. It is plainly obvious to me that if folks are drinking alcoholically they already have first hand knowledge of their demons. Me adding to their misery informing them as a public service that eventually no one will care is not helpful in my books.
Focusing on you?
Please.
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Robbie, I've no interest in arguing with you or defending against any of the many points you've made about me and my perceptions, my confessions, my claims, and my ineffective efforts to help.
Thanks for your suggestion to keep my focus on me, something which you've certainly exemplified on this thread. Now you can take your focus off me and put it somewhere warm as I'll take that job over from you now and as we go forward.
Thanks for your suggestion to keep my focus on me, something which you've certainly exemplified on this thread. Now you can take your focus off me and put it somewhere warm as I'll take that job over from you now and as we go forward.
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langkah, thanks for the posting this. Its a sobering reminder (pun? not intended) of where the end end end stage of alcoholism can lead. A kick up the butt is always useful when you are feeling low and unsure whether the have a(nother) drink.
Im sure many people have been on a bender, woken in the morning, feeling like utter crap and said the immortal words "never again!!" Then promptly had another face full of booze!!
People are different, some need a kick, some don't.
Some people Im sure have admirably done it themselves and have had many years of sobriety... well done.
Some people need a reality check though. Imo, whether people choose to post these reality checks (as nasty as they are) is entirely up to them.
Im sure many people have been on a bender, woken in the morning, feeling like utter crap and said the immortal words "never again!!" Then promptly had another face full of booze!!
People are different, some need a kick, some don't.
Some people Im sure have admirably done it themselves and have had many years of sobriety... well done.
Some people need a reality check though. Imo, whether people choose to post these reality checks (as nasty as they are) is entirely up to them.
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Sounds like she was in the process of dying over years. Even with a wet brain and all the other health damages she still managed to organize her drinking, which is probably only amazing to non alcoholics. Dying of a brain heamorrhage was a blessing for her.
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