Milly39

Do you still wear your wedding/engagement ring?
I took mine off about 2 weeks after I made AH leave...I didn't see the point anymore. Even though we are still married ( in god's and the law's eyes) I feel totally disconnected.

m1k3

I took mine off about 2 weeks after I left. A couple of months later I tried to reconnect and put it back on. It bothered me so much that a couple of days later I had to take it off again.

Your friend,

Tuffgirl

I went back and forth - on and off, on and off. Now its on again.

What did make it easier was putting a different ring on! That way, it didn't feel so strange at first. And it seemed the angrier I was at him, the easier it was to not wear my rings.

MsMahon

I took mine off when I finally realised that the man I married no longer existed and I refused to accept this insane alcoholic as my spouse.

We separated a couple of years after that.

We are still separated, not divorced.

What a horrible disease.

Thumper

I left mine on until the day the divorce was final, and then I took it off.

SoaringSpirits

My AH and I have been separated for 10 months. Around the time we separated, I contracted ringworm from one of our horses --- right between my fingers and under where my wedding band goes. Ringworm is a fungus and it likes moist, dark places. The irony of this was not lost on me! I had no choice but to remove my ring to let it heal up, but when I wear it again for any length of time, the fungus gets started again. Kind of like the alcoholism, it grew and festered in a dark place, but it does not like the bright sun and air!

My kids were upset about me removing my wedding band, so I do wear it as often as possible because it seems to help them. Poor kids.

I feel noticed a lot more by men when I'm out and about without my ring, which helps fluff up my self esteem a bit. My AH stonewalled me and treated me like I was sooo undesirable the last couple of years of our marriage, so having a little innocent attention is kind of helpful.

nodaybut2day

If I recall, I took mine off a few days after XAH told me we should separate, when I noticed that he hadn't been wearing his for a long while. Guess he'd been shopping around!

lizatola

I took mine off over the summer for 1 day. I was taking my son and a friend to a water park. Within 1 hour I had a divorced dad making small talk with me and noticing me. He was an airforce pilot being relocated to our area and was asking all kinds of questions and was interested in my hobbies and stuff. It was really nice to be noticed since my AH was in the middle of a major depression and I was the farthest thing from his mind.
Good for you! It does feel nice to be noticed.

FiguringItOut

I took mine off shortly before kicking him out. I hate him but loved my wedding rings, loved them as a symbol of our family (really just me and the kids) and don't like the attention without them.

Ovid

Mine went on and off so many times I can't count

Cyranoak

Only God knows if you are married in God's eyes. Not you, and certainly not any religious figure. Just God.

Cyranoak

Marytherboo

Mine are still on, but then I'm still in love with AH even though I know we may never be able to live together again. I suspect I'll take them off when the fire goes out.

naive

i still have mine on because i do not want to attract any male attention of that sort. it clearly signals that i am not available. i have no emotional attachment to it, it merely serves a purpose for me.

lillamy

I stopped wearing mine six years before I finally worked up the courage to leave.
And that was probably a couple of years after the time I had checked out of the marriage.

wanttobehealthy

I took mine off well over a year before he left for good (at my request). I remember the day distinctly. He'd been horrible and verbally abusive for days on end. I took my rings off and handed them to him and told him calmly that when he was ready to be the man he vowed to me to be and wanted to be a true partner in the r/s with me, I would want them back. I told him I wanted to wear them but did not feel that they represented what they should and it hurt too much to pretend.

He never gave them back. Once, on my bday he slammed them on the counter and I suppose that was my cue to put them on? I didn't.

I guess I should have realized that when I handed them to him it was over.

DesertEyes

It took me awhile to take mine off. Then I gave it to the Salvation Army. I figured they could use the money and it would help some young couple who were just starting out in life.

Mike

Milly39

I have not taken mine off expecting any attention from men...never thought about it in that way to be honest.
AH still wears his as I think he expects we will get back together when he gets himself " a good 6 months" recovery under his belt.
This will not happen and that is why I am not wearing mine.
Its too late - the love is gone.

djayr

Legally separated this past Nov, still wearing my ring. Friends and family are annoyed.

brownhorse

It took me until I filed and knew for sure that we were over. I like the person that said I realized the person I married wasn't there anymore. That is exactly it!

MsGrace

I occasionally wear my ring on my right hand...because I like the ring. It has not a shred of meaning to me beyond being a piece of jewelry to me...so that is all it is.

Figuring out whether to wear the ring or not would be last on the list of significant elements of being separated from an alchololic, however