jobei

Thank you all for the responses... it really helps to have something healthy to look for when I turn on the computer. I pray that you are all doing well today. It has now been about 70 hours and the headaches have gone down a bit but the shaking is still full blown. I'm trying to eat a lot of vitamins and taking supplements to help. I think my brain and spirit need the most help at this time though. I did manage to sleep today for about 4-5 hours which is the most so far and hopefully with the help of some camomile tea I can make it through the night tonight. I wrote this morning that I was planning to go to a live meeting today which I did not... BUT there is one that starts in 30 minutes and I AM GOING. I am going to KEEP ON GOING no matter what. I look at it like a war... if I don't supply my body/soul/mind with ammunition against the things that will destroy me than how do I expect to win? I have tried all the "do it yourself" techniques and none of them have worked. Things have consistently deteriorated while I've been drunk. Literally the ONLY bright spots in the last 17 years have been the few times that I was not drinking. How is it so hard for me to see this???? It's like a cruel inside joke and you're the only one that doesn't get it? Well I know there are people out there that DO get it so I am going to find them or die trying but I'm NOT going to give up. I pray that none of you reading this give up either because we CAN make it... somehow... someway that may not be clear at the moment. Anything built can be destroyed and this mountain of shame/fear/guilt/booze is no different... it just may take more time depending on how big it has actually gotten. I want to fight it off with the same fervor that I used to get my bottles all the time. I was very good at that.

WhiteKnuckles

I hear you loud and clear Jobei...I am also trying to maintain sobriety for the first time in many, many years. Hope you can make it to that meeting...I went yesterday, and as ready as I am for a change I sure started dragging my feet about 30 minutes before...all of a sudden I felt nervous about what to expect...would I fit in? What would we talk about? Would people look at me weird?? But I went and I was so glad I went, most productive hour I've had in a long time. I hope the same is the case for you and just try to hang in there...this too shall pass, it gets better, talking to people live and in person really helps. As alcoholics we have a tendency to get stuck inside our own head and that's a scary place to be sometimes. Best of luck to you...sending positive thoughts your way. WK

Sapling

You came to the right place...And you're going to the right place..Enjoy your meeting and great job on 70 hours...I like your attitude...

Anna

I hope you continue to feel better and good for you for working hard on your recovery.

Purplecatlover

Good for you Jobei! I've been thinking about you.
Keep that fighting spirit, that's what it takes. It's a battle for your life, don't let the bottle win.
There were days I felt weak & tired of fighting. I got on SR & vented, got feedback, prayed. I've made it over 7 weeks.

I hope you get what you need from AA. It's a great place.
Keep us posted!

eh1988

70 hours is something to be proud of. Soon the withdrawal symptoms will be gone, and you'll be well on your way to living a healthy and sober life. Good job, keep up the good work!

katrinka

Keep coming to SR, it's been very helpful to me. Good job on 70 hours, it will get better.

sugarbear1

You are working on towards your 74th hour.... WAY to move FORWARD! Keep it up, it does get easier!!

jobei

I made the meeting and almost walked out halfway through because they had a 15 minute break and the sidewalk looked so sweet... besides I made it halfway through that's a good start right? WRONG... halfway is how I've been living my life... forget it I'm done with that. I went back in and they called on me... I introduced myself and I said that I need to listen because I don't know much about anything except that I was grateful to be there. I stayed through the daily prayer and helped put up chairs at the end. Tomorrow I WILL ask for someone to call. Can anyone suggest some threads for me to get involved in? I want SR to be a part of my life.

Sapling

That's AWESOME!

Sapling

Just like the meetings...Which you did a great job at...All you have to do is show up...Good to have you a part of SR!

eh1988

Great job sticking it out!!! Keep up the good work!

Sapling

Some good AA talk in this forum....Check them both out...If you have questions...Ask them..Do some reading and enjoy.

Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

And this one...

Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information