Feeling hopeful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 2
Feeling hopeful.
I'm a young man, living in rural Ireland, struggling with a lot of things but doing my best to make sure my addiction to alcohol isn't one of them.
I think I will start by making a list of some of the more terrible things I have done that have been related to my drinking.
1. During a blackout I destroyed a strangers car with my bare hands. I have no recollection of the event but I saw the car about 2 months later, the exterior was utterly wrecked. I was in the USA at the time and was arrested and charged and ultimately remained free but in considerable debt.
2. I have few friends left, a combination of being a terrible drunk at most social events I went to and being a shut in, drinking alone because of my self loathing.
3. I have no hobbies left.
4. I have some health problems, as well as the embarrassment of thinking about how everyone I met would have smelled the drink on me, as well as that smell that is particular to alcoholics. I have **** myself accidentally on more than one occasion both sober and drunk.
5. My relationship with my family is strained, as they see me as reckless and unpredictable as well as having little regard for my own well being or how my much younger brothers and sisters feel when they see me drunk or a toilet full of vomit.
6. I feel haunted by my past, the things I have done drunk at parties. I live in a small community so there is an even smaller community of people in and around my age and we all know each other.
7. It's hard to think of more specifics but for example very recently I nearly burned down my parents house by leaving the grill on after cooking something drunk, with my loved ones lives at risk.
I never want to drink again and I am hoping this site and the chat room will be useful to me.
I think I will start by making a list of some of the more terrible things I have done that have been related to my drinking.
1. During a blackout I destroyed a strangers car with my bare hands. I have no recollection of the event but I saw the car about 2 months later, the exterior was utterly wrecked. I was in the USA at the time and was arrested and charged and ultimately remained free but in considerable debt.
2. I have few friends left, a combination of being a terrible drunk at most social events I went to and being a shut in, drinking alone because of my self loathing.
3. I have no hobbies left.
4. I have some health problems, as well as the embarrassment of thinking about how everyone I met would have smelled the drink on me, as well as that smell that is particular to alcoholics. I have **** myself accidentally on more than one occasion both sober and drunk.
5. My relationship with my family is strained, as they see me as reckless and unpredictable as well as having little regard for my own well being or how my much younger brothers and sisters feel when they see me drunk or a toilet full of vomit.
6. I feel haunted by my past, the things I have done drunk at parties. I live in a small community so there is an even smaller community of people in and around my age and we all know each other.
7. It's hard to think of more specifics but for example very recently I nearly burned down my parents house by leaving the grill on after cooking something drunk, with my loved ones lives at risk.
I never want to drink again and I am hoping this site and the chat room will be useful to me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Welcome Irish Myth.
#2 was so me. What you have to do is not worry about what you have done in the past and what others might be thinking and think about yourself first.
You've said it: you never want to drink again. First step: done.
Now you have to put not drinking above EVERYTHING ELSE. If you do that, your life will get better. Guaranteed. Everything will, including the way you feel about yourself and your life.
Just be strong and keep reading that first post and post and read on this site A LOT. It helps so much.
Again, welcome!
#2 was so me. What you have to do is not worry about what you have done in the past and what others might be thinking and think about yourself first.
You've said it: you never want to drink again. First step: done.
Now you have to put not drinking above EVERYTHING ELSE. If you do that, your life will get better. Guaranteed. Everything will, including the way you feel about yourself and your life.
Just be strong and keep reading that first post and post and read on this site A LOT. It helps so much.
Again, welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Hello Irish!
I'm trying to picture taking a car apart with my bare hands...ouch.
I think you'll find a lot of information and support here. I wish you the best in your commitment to health and sanity! It helps to have a strategy or plan.
I went to OP rehab, then AA for awhile, then began using AVRT (there's a great thread about that in Secular Connections forum here). And I very deliberately set out to get some hobbies, of which running was the most helpful.
I'm trying to picture taking a car apart with my bare hands...ouch.
I think you'll find a lot of information and support here. I wish you the best in your commitment to health and sanity! It helps to have a strategy or plan.
I went to OP rehab, then AA for awhile, then began using AVRT (there's a great thread about that in Secular Connections forum here). And I very deliberately set out to get some hobbies, of which running was the most helpful.
dude in recovery
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Gulf Coast, TX
Posts: 1,504
2, 4, 5 & 7 here. :-\
Welcome and I sure hope you can change your life, I thought having no friends would make it impossible to get sober (as I mostly drank alone), but since I have no friends I don't get begged to go out drinking nor belittled about quitting. Get your mind set and do it.. with a doctor's help if you can.
Welcome and I sure hope you can change your life, I thought having no friends would make it impossible to get sober (as I mostly drank alone), but since I have no friends I don't get begged to go out drinking nor belittled about quitting. Get your mind set and do it.. with a doctor's help if you can.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Hi Irish
Welcome to SR. I live in Ireland too, in a small city so I know what you mean about small-town Ireland.
As said, you have to move on from worrying about what everyone else thinks, the main thing is you get help.
I once left a pizza in the oven and could have killed myself and my best friend who was visiting because I got so drunk one night I forget to take it out and fell asleep. The thought still haunts me.
Admitting to yourself you have a problem is a huge hurdle and it took me a long time to get there.
I quit New Years Eve and have not had a drink since and don't intend to. You can do this. My life is changing and so can yourse.
I wish you all the very best - look forward, not back.
Sunny xx
Welcome to SR. I live in Ireland too, in a small city so I know what you mean about small-town Ireland.
As said, you have to move on from worrying about what everyone else thinks, the main thing is you get help.
I once left a pizza in the oven and could have killed myself and my best friend who was visiting because I got so drunk one night I forget to take it out and fell asleep. The thought still haunts me.
Admitting to yourself you have a problem is a huge hurdle and it took me a long time to get there.
I quit New Years Eve and have not had a drink since and don't intend to. You can do this. My life is changing and so can yourse.
I wish you all the very best - look forward, not back.
Sunny xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
Hi Irish, I made the decision to quit drinking 3 weeks ago and this site has been incredibly helpful. The people on here are welcoming, warm, & have lots of advice to give. I hope to see you around the boards.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Hey Irishmyth I feel the same in so many ways. Last week I started an argument with my older brother about getting sober (he has been clean for 4 years) and I rambled off just about every excuse I could think of... I sounded like a crazy person. He made a statement that really made me think... something like this:
Me - "How the **** can I quit? All my friends drink!"
Bro - "Get new friends."
I have been thinking about that a lot in the last 40 hours since my last drink. It's simple but may be the only way out.
Me - "How the **** can I quit? All my friends drink!"
Bro - "Get new friends."
I have been thinking about that a lot in the last 40 hours since my last drink. It's simple but may be the only way out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
Originally Posted by IrishMyth 
To anyone reading this I found the sticky of excerpts from "Under The Influence" massively informative and helpful. Well worth a read if you haven't.
:rotfxko
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Hello Irish - we're so glad to have you with us. I can relate to many things on your list. Thankfully, we never have to live that way again.
I would suggest you try not being haunted by the past. I allowed guilt and remorse to almost sabotage my recovery. I wanted to live again - the life I was meant to have - and I couldn't do it with one foot in the past. As people see you getting well - healing and living a good life - their memory of the old days will fade. It's what happens now that really counts. I'm glad you've decided to reclaim your life.
I would suggest you try not being haunted by the past. I allowed guilt and remorse to almost sabotage my recovery. I wanted to live again - the life I was meant to have - and I couldn't do it with one foot in the past. As people see you getting well - healing and living a good life - their memory of the old days will fade. It's what happens now that really counts. I'm glad you've decided to reclaim your life.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
