Elisabeth888

I think that this is the hardest step. Having faith in your HP that everything WILL be okay, or how it is meant to be is very hard.

This step involves a lot of acceptance, which I think is the key to life. I go page 417 in the BB a lot. I need to be reminded.

Tell me how and what helps you do step three every day.

DayTrader

One of the phrases heard in meetings a lot is "if you're having a problem with step X, you're really having a problem with the step before it." I think that's only partly true.

I've discovered that when I'm having a problem with a step it's usually (every time, so far...actually) because I'm having a problem with step 1. You said it right.... I'm having a problem accepting step 1.

When I accept that I AM alcoholic (and I've done my homework to understand just what that really means - per AA's definition) and when I accept that my life IS (not was) unmanageable (with me at the helm).... I come to understand that I'm basically screwed.

When I reeeeeeally accept that I'm in trouble....it's logical that I'd "hope" I can get better. Some things I can improve on my own power....some things I try but don't seem to get anywhere. For that second group......is it possible that there's STILL a chance they can get better even if I've tried everything humanly possible? Well......sure......if GOD does it.

Early in recovery, I had a hard time believing God would fix stuff cuz I had all this "proof" of things I wanted to get fixed that He hadn't fixed (yet.... or..... as far as I knew). I had a tough time accepting that God's ideas of what should happen wouldn't always line up with what I thought should happen. (LOL)

FAITH that God was working in my life didn't come at once. Actually, it was easier for me to see God working in other ppl's lives than it was in my own. That was a start though....acknowledging that there WAS something working. It was a process....and is still a process.

As far as step 3 is concerned..... once I've done the first 2, 3 asks me to make a decision to turn my life and will over to a God of my understanding. Now, if I'm not convinced of how screwed I am in step 1, then I won't think I need to work 3. Why turn "it" over if I don't HAVE to, yanno?

In the BB, it talks about 3 being just a DECISION (something you do in your mind).....the action to follow is the evidence that we've made that decision. You're taking it a bit further/deeper though.... the decision is easy but the action to back up that decision isn't always easy.

One thing I know from experience though....that "faith" that's required to act out step 3 in our daily lives......for me, it didn't just "happen." I had to test the waters and wade into it.

First, I turned my drinking problem/solution "over" to AA - that seemed to work = a little more faith.
Then I turned my lifestyle over to what I though God would want me to do - that was tough but it seemed to work better = a little more faith
The more you PRACTICE "turning things over" to God's care.....the more you'll find how well it works.........which leads, obviously, to more faith.

Anymore.....it's pretty easy to turn outcomes and most of everything over to God's care.

PaperDolls

Steps 1, 2, & 3 = I can't, He can, I think I'll let him.

I have to keep it real simple.

Tommyh

how I practice step 3 today?
I read pages 86-88 every morning and follow those directions
if you haven`t done it,give it a try for a while to the best of your ability and see what happens
i am also assuming you have been thru the first 7 steps too

Elisabeth888

I am actually about to do 6&7.

2granddaughters

Step 3 , like the rest of the Steps, is a work in progress for me.
The Recovery Home I attended in 1989 was run by a Priest and he said "God works through people". (I certainly had "people" problems along with "God" problems).
I had to learn to trust God AND my fellow AAs.

I say my daily prayers now every morning and every night but for me the prayers are answered at the meetings.
I guess the simplest explanation I can give for my 3rd Step is saying my prayers and doing what the good oldtimers did to get their sobriety.

All the best to everyone in their recovery.

Bob R

Tommyh

Elizabeth
about to do 6 & 7-great!
I sometimes go over the 3rd step prayer today,and sometimes I go to the 7th step prayer in addition to my other morning readings.

langkah

I did 3 in late '82 in my sponsor's presence in a private area of his back yard. To this point I've not take back the decision I voiced that afternoon. Since he's now rotting away somewhere in West Virginia not only would I be hard pressed to repeat that experience, were I ever to do so it would greatly alarm the house's current owners. It wouldn't be a pretty sight.

The quality of the decision made in step 3 is evidenced by our completion of the other steps and our using 10-12 thereafter to remain well enough to continue being of service.

shaun00

by realizing constantly that im not in charge ..by realizing that a divine spirit has entered my life and has my back....even when i don't like the outcome...by realizing that god really is everything and by trying to be useful whenever the opportunity arises .......i put the shoe leather on that by working 10, 11 .12

sugarbear1

I made my decision, I then immediately worked 4-7, then 8 & 9, 10-12 practiced as a new way of living life. I wasn't able to live life on life's terms; I lived life on my terms with alcohol as my solution. Working the steps has afforded me the practicing of life on God's terms... I don't know if I am capable of living life on life's terms. It's not in me. I'm not sure it ever was.

I practice step 11 daily. I practice meditation, listening to my higher power daily. It takes practice, for me.

When I make a decision every day; I sit quietly in prayer and in meditation. My spiritual life, my spirituality, must continue to grow with each passing day in sobriety. This is the first time in my 50+ years I have 9 1/2 months of continuous contentedness. I have a sense of calm I've never had. No, I haven't gotten to nirvana, I am barely beginning my journey.

Threshold

Part of my step 1 was realizing that my life was unmanageable, but also that I don't, can't and never will really "know" how things are "supposed to be". That's the fallacy I was operating under, that I KNEW how things were supposed to be.

So in step 3, I am turning my will and life over to the care of my HP...understanding that I don't know what that will look and feel like, and that my HP is operating even when it doesn't look, smell and feel like I expected it to. That is part of MY spiritual awakening, waking up to the fact that I don't know, and don't HAVE to know how everything should be.

Being able to relax even when things feel funny is a totally new thing for me. And that is what I have to recommit to on a daily basis, that I'll relax and keep moving forward even when things feel funny, and trust that my HP will let me know when it's time for me to make a change.

Doing difficult things actually isn't the part that's hard for me. It's being uncomfortable that I find intolerable. I am learning to be willing to be uncomfortable without doing something stupid just to "feel better".

Boleo

"Nothing is going to turn me into a nonentity. If I keep on turning my life and my will over to the care of Something or Somebody else, what will become of me? I'll look like the hole in the doughnut." This, of course, is the process by which instinct and logic always seek to bolster egotism, and so frustrate spiritual development. The trouble is that this kind of thinking takes no real account of the facts. And the facts seem to be these: The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore dependence, as A.A. practices it, is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit."
(12&12 page 36)

CousinA

I like to keep it simple - makes for the beginning of serenity. A big part of Step 3 for me is getting out of bed and living the day. 10-12 are daily practice as well as 6 & 7. "I don't know" is my current 3rd step prayer of choice.

-allan

mick3580

"I don't know" is a highly effective prayer for me too.

wiscsober

Turning my will over is saying yes to something I want to say no to: be it going to a meeting, helping someone, getting out of bed, facing fears, etc.

SoberLife2014

Recently my sponsor has suggested that I focus on step 3 because I was getting all upset about something in step 4. It was a relief. I've always found a lot of peace in steps 1-3. However, last night I caught myself. I've started praying more for changes in myself rather than changes in things around me. I feel like praying for things around me to change is just another way I am trying to change things... through God. I was praying about how to deal with a certain dilemma I have in my life right now. When I was finished praying I said something like "I'm sure you'll take care of it, God". That kinda surprised me. I'm actually a little new to this believing in God business. I've struggled with believing in him and then trusting him. I was finally able to get a grasp on what I believe God is, but trusting him is a whole different story. When I said what I said I also thought "Am I sure God will take care of it?". I'm so used to doing things myself and controlling things around me that actually handing over something to someone/ something else makes me a bit uncomfortable. I see now why my sponsor suggested I redo step 3. I've been dealing with a lot of remorse in step 4. I think the key word is "I". I was trying to do step 4 alone. I'm going to need some help in step 4 apparently

UncleMeat69

Page 60 of the BB says we should be convinced of the following 3 ideas before
we decide to turn our will and life over to God as we understand Him:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

The first manuscript of the BB went further and stated :

"If you are not convinced read the first 60 pages
again and if still not convinced, throw the book away."