Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 9
Hello
Such an utterly rubbish title for a thread!
I've just joined today and wanted to put my mark down, really.
Here's a short-ish version of my story.
I've been drinking regularly since my teens and had settled into a habit of drinking about 3/4 of a bottle of wine most evenings (possibly had one night off a week but not always) for many, many years. I'm now in my forties.
From early last year I've had three difficult situations to deal with and found my wine consumption crept up to a bottle (or the best part of a bottle) every night - more (over a bottle) on weekends.
I've been worrying about my liver for some time and thinking that I am drinking too much but have been putting off doing something about it.
A couple of weeks ago, two of the three problems that I have been living with got sorted out and I felt a huge, huge relief. I decided that this was my opportunity to stop making excuses about how things are hard and "it's not a good time for me to think about giving up drinking" and to actually do it, for the sake of my liver.
I had a last big boozy Friday night blow-out (can't say I enjoyed it - drinking had ceased to be enjoyable, it had just become "what I did") and had my first alcohol-free day on Saturday 18 February 2012.
Today, amazingly, is day 13 and it will be two weeks this weekend!
I almost daren't say it, in case I "jinx" my progress, but, truthfully, I have actually found it easier than I ever would have imagined (I'm really, really grateful for this) and I think it's because:
1. My reason for wanting to stop is very big and real for me - I am absolutely terrified of liver damage. I'm convinced I've already done damage but am slightly comforting myself with the thought that I'm at least not doing any more damage now and that my liver, hopefully, can start to repair itself.
2. I'm genuinely bowled over by all of the positive things that I'm experiencing as a result of not drinking - sleeping like a baby (for the first time for as long as I can remember), waking up feeling just lovely, clear head, feeling calm and well/ less anxiety and so on. This is a complete revelation! Such a wonderful novelty for me!
3. I'm not watching what I'm eating. I'm giving myself permission to have what I feel like when I feel like it without worrying about my weight so I'm not getting low blood sugar levels and feeling wobbly. Having said that, I'm naturally wanting fresh, healthy food (largely speaking - just had some chocolate!) so maybe that's helping too.
Friends have said to me before that I put so much in to my family and that I need to do more for myself and it never really made any sense to me - they may as well have been speaking Greek. The one thing in a day that DID feel like my thing, my treat, my moment for me, was pouring a huge glass of white wine at six o'clock and scoffing it down, looking for that hit of relaxation and euphoria, and then another and another and another.
I now realise that this is about the worst thing I could have been doing for myself and my poor liver and have started to think about taking care of myself in better, healthier ways and to put myself and my well-being more at the centre of my life.
So that's me. Thanks for reading, to anyone who's got this far!
This seems like a really great site. I wish all SR members a good day and continued wellness and sobriety.
I've just joined today and wanted to put my mark down, really.
Here's a short-ish version of my story.
I've been drinking regularly since my teens and had settled into a habit of drinking about 3/4 of a bottle of wine most evenings (possibly had one night off a week but not always) for many, many years. I'm now in my forties.
From early last year I've had three difficult situations to deal with and found my wine consumption crept up to a bottle (or the best part of a bottle) every night - more (over a bottle) on weekends.
I've been worrying about my liver for some time and thinking that I am drinking too much but have been putting off doing something about it.
A couple of weeks ago, two of the three problems that I have been living with got sorted out and I felt a huge, huge relief. I decided that this was my opportunity to stop making excuses about how things are hard and "it's not a good time for me to think about giving up drinking" and to actually do it, for the sake of my liver.
I had a last big boozy Friday night blow-out (can't say I enjoyed it - drinking had ceased to be enjoyable, it had just become "what I did") and had my first alcohol-free day on Saturday 18 February 2012.
Today, amazingly, is day 13 and it will be two weeks this weekend!
I almost daren't say it, in case I "jinx" my progress, but, truthfully, I have actually found it easier than I ever would have imagined (I'm really, really grateful for this) and I think it's because:
1. My reason for wanting to stop is very big and real for me - I am absolutely terrified of liver damage. I'm convinced I've already done damage but am slightly comforting myself with the thought that I'm at least not doing any more damage now and that my liver, hopefully, can start to repair itself.
2. I'm genuinely bowled over by all of the positive things that I'm experiencing as a result of not drinking - sleeping like a baby (for the first time for as long as I can remember), waking up feeling just lovely, clear head, feeling calm and well/ less anxiety and so on. This is a complete revelation! Such a wonderful novelty for me!
3. I'm not watching what I'm eating. I'm giving myself permission to have what I feel like when I feel like it without worrying about my weight so I'm not getting low blood sugar levels and feeling wobbly. Having said that, I'm naturally wanting fresh, healthy food (largely speaking - just had some chocolate!) so maybe that's helping too.
Friends have said to me before that I put so much in to my family and that I need to do more for myself and it never really made any sense to me - they may as well have been speaking Greek. The one thing in a day that DID feel like my thing, my treat, my moment for me, was pouring a huge glass of white wine at six o'clock and scoffing it down, looking for that hit of relaxation and euphoria, and then another and another and another.
I now realise that this is about the worst thing I could have been doing for myself and my poor liver and have started to think about taking care of myself in better, healthier ways and to put myself and my well-being more at the centre of my life.
So that's me. Thanks for reading, to anyone who's got this far!
This seems like a really great site. I wish all SR members a good day and continued wellness and sobriety.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
FreshAir, it is indeed a great feeling to sit on top and enjoy the view and fresh air (!!!), rather than to wallow and deal with that constant claustrophobic feeling of failure and guilt while being trapped by an addiction. That accomplishment and pride never need to go away, and there are many more personal revelations in store. Congratulations to you. Well done.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by FreshAir 
I almost daren't say it, in case I "jinx" my progress, but, truthfully, I have actually found it easier than I ever would have imagined (I'm really, really grateful for this)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
Fresh air thanks for that wonderful post which I can identify so readily to.
My wine consumption kept going up to such an extent that if I "only" drank one bottle a night I thought I was being "good"!
I also agree with how nice it is to be able to eat what we like without worrying about the calories (it's like getting a a huge free credit of calories when we're not drinking all that wine everyday!)
I would just like to share with you something I heard at an aa meeting today (if I'm not allowed to do this someone please tell me and i will erase- I know it's supposed to be confidential what is said in these meetings)
The person said that when you stop drinking the effects start on the outside (people will comment you're looking better) and then as you go on it gradually goes further and further to the inside.
I found that encouraging to hear (I'm on day four) that this is only a beginning and it's going to get even better and not just physically.
My wine consumption kept going up to such an extent that if I "only" drank one bottle a night I thought I was being "good"!
I also agree with how nice it is to be able to eat what we like without worrying about the calories (it's like getting a a huge free credit of calories when we're not drinking all that wine everyday!)
I would just like to share with you something I heard at an aa meeting today (if I'm not allowed to do this someone please tell me and i will erase- I know it's supposed to be confidential what is said in these meetings)
The person said that when you stop drinking the effects start on the outside (people will comment you're looking better) and then as you go on it gradually goes further and further to the inside.
I found that encouraging to hear (I'm on day four) that this is only a beginning and it's going to get even better and not just physically.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Welcome to SR, freshair. 
I can relate to so much of your story.
A big congratulations on your 13 days. You've taken a big, positive step coming here and telling your story.
Wishing you all the best on your journey and keep up the fantastic work.
Sunny xx
I can relate to so much of your story.
A big congratulations on your 13 days. You've taken a big, positive step coming here and telling your story.
Wishing you all the best on your journey and keep up the fantastic work.
Sunny xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Welcome freshair. My drinking was very similar to yours. The big glass of wine to kick off relaxing for the evening and usually seeing the bottom of the bottle. I got a few months sober and foolishly thought I could have just a glass or two, and it is scary how fast I get back up to a bottle like it is nothing.
I have been up and down, and had 11 days sober in Feb, and slipped last week, and was drinking a bit over the days of dealing with my dad's death and funeral, and having out of town guests, etc... Nothing crazy, but I do have some liver disease and diabetes, so I really should not drink at all.
So, day 2 again for me.
Welcome, and good on the 13 days!
rochele
I have been up and down, and had 11 days sober in Feb, and slipped last week, and was drinking a bit over the days of dealing with my dad's death and funeral, and having out of town guests, etc... Nothing crazy, but I do have some liver disease and diabetes, so I really should not drink at all.
So, day 2 again for me.
Welcome, and good on the 13 days!
rochele
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 9
Thank you do much for leaving these kind messages. I'm so touched.
I am delighted to wake up this morning (after yet another blissful night's sleep - turns out I don't have insomnia, it was the booze) and to be able to say that I am two weeks sober!
Last night I had a real "Friday night feeling" and felt a real craving for a beer so I bought some AF beers and had three of those. It completely hit the spot and I was able to get through the moment and then it passed. I'm so pleased I didn't cave in. A friend asked me to pop round early evening for a drink and normally this would have involved several large glasses of wine but I just took one of my AF beers in my handbag and told her I'm having a break to give my liver a rest. She didn't bat an eyelid.
I send good wishes to all you kind SR people and wish you a lovely weekend and continued health, peace and sobriety.
Thank you again for your support, it means so much to me.
I am delighted to wake up this morning (after yet another blissful night's sleep - turns out I don't have insomnia, it was the booze) and to be able to say that I am two weeks sober!
Last night I had a real "Friday night feeling" and felt a real craving for a beer so I bought some AF beers and had three of those. It completely hit the spot and I was able to get through the moment and then it passed. I'm so pleased I didn't cave in. A friend asked me to pop round early evening for a drink and normally this would have involved several large glasses of wine but I just took one of my AF beers in my handbag and told her I'm having a break to give my liver a rest. She didn't bat an eyelid.
I send good wishes to all you kind SR people and wish you a lovely weekend and continued health, peace and sobriety.
Thank you again for your support, it means so much to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 9
Rochele,
I really am so sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad. I remember how bewildered and shocked I felt. I send you lots of love, hugs and good wishes.
Well done for starting again on the road to sobriety. I drank my way through my grief but in the long run, of course, it's no help to you - drink just brings its own problems and consequences and the sadness is still there.
My main motivator for stopping drinking is that I'm scared, like you can't imagine, that I already have liver damage but I'm too frightened to go to the doctor. If you've already been checked out and have been told that this process has already begun then I guess there's no burying your head in the sand for you. Wherever you are, I send you my very best and kindest thoughts, wishes and prayers and hope that you are feeling positive and staying well one day at a time.
I wish you - and all the good people of SR - well.
With love.
I really am so sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad. I remember how bewildered and shocked I felt. I send you lots of love, hugs and good wishes.
Well done for starting again on the road to sobriety. I drank my way through my grief but in the long run, of course, it's no help to you - drink just brings its own problems and consequences and the sadness is still there.
My main motivator for stopping drinking is that I'm scared, like you can't imagine, that I already have liver damage but I'm too frightened to go to the doctor. If you've already been checked out and have been told that this process has already begun then I guess there's no burying your head in the sand for you. Wherever you are, I send you my very best and kindest thoughts, wishes and prayers and hope that you are feeling positive and staying well one day at a time.
I wish you - and all the good people of SR - well.
With love.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 9
Sapling
I felt a little nervous about it, for this very reason, but I thought it was a sensible compromise and it did get me over that feeling of having a bit of a catch
in my throat/ craving.
I shan't be having them every night, but they served a purpose last night and provided me with a safety net.
Thank you for your kindness and for taking an interest. Wish you well.
I felt a little nervous about it, for this very reason, but I thought it was a sensible compromise and it did get me over that feeling of having a bit of a catch
in my throat/ craving.
I shan't be having them every night, but they served a purpose last night and provided me with a safety net.
Thank you for your kindness and for taking an interest. Wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
No problem...Just I went through a spell once trying to stop...I got to the point I'd buy a six pack of them...Down the whole thing...Said why am I wasting my time with these?...Back off to the races...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
In my rehab, we were strongly counseled against NA beer; the claim was that they do have a small amount of alcohol (?), and that they keep the mental habit going.
Can you switch to something completely different? I like all the fancy waters that are available now: vitamin water, sparkling, flavored, etc. for me the fact that they at least masquerade as a health drink makes them seem therapeutic.
Can you switch to something completely different? I like all the fancy waters that are available now: vitamin water, sparkling, flavored, etc. for me the fact that they at least masquerade as a health drink makes them seem therapeutic.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by dgillz
Agreed provided that no one's anonymity is compromised.
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