zecase

Reading a book and going to bed. When I wake up it will be one week!! Starting to feel really good. I've been going to meetings all week (the group by my house bought me a big book). My question now is about sponsors. I know their are "temporary sponsors" at first. There are a couple of guys who have been great. Calling just to check in and such. But the more permanent sponsor ... what is that process? How long does it take? What should one look for? What was it like for those of you that have one / are one?

sober4metoday

Yessss! Awesome!! I don't do AA so I don't know the answer to your question but I still wanted to say congrats!

sugarbear1

Start with a temporary sponsor and begin working the steps. If that doesn't work out, find another person to guide you through the steps. It's your journey, the sponsor is a guide!

Congrats on a week!

Dee74

congratulations on your week

D

Terminally Unique

You'll probably get far better responses if you post this question in the Alcoholism 12-Step Support forum.

MemphisBlues

Get a temporary sponsor, anyone who approaches you that you somewhat identify with.

There are some who troll for newcomers because it keeps the sober. I would seek someone who has what you want. You will hear those phrases a lot.

And do troll around the 12-step forum. Here as well.

A temporary sponsor is someone who can help you stay sober, get to meetings, deal with the new emotions that are probably rattling around in your skull, and answer any questions you may have (which I am sure are plenty).

A temporary sponsor will help the fear equation a lot.

Congrats on choosing sobriety. Reading here is fantastic. Explore!

My first sponsor was someone who cared. Period. My second sponsor cared more. My third sponsor s taking me through the 12 steps as spelled out in the Big Book. And she is there for me ion all aspects of my life, not just working the steps. I need that. I'm an alcoholic, but I need help on that living life thing. A lot.

Firehazard

Wow, You are already doing what is always suggested to newcomers. Keep that up and you will be successful. Way to go on the one week.




you inspire me

EricL

I look for people who have been through the book and steps, and are living by spiritual means. These people are the ones who carry an AA solution. I tried having sponsors who wanted to talk about my feelings, or meet once a week for coffee, etc. This never worked for me. Once I found a man who could take me through the big book and through the steps in a timely fashion, then god started to move things around in my life.

Congrats on the one week, sometimes its fun to try and recollect the last time we had one week sober, and what it looked like.

Time to get busy in the book!

Sapling

I looked for a guy that sounded like he knew the book and the program..It only took me a couple days to pick one out..I'd read the first 164 pages a couple times before I went to this meeting....Now my homegroup....I asked him...He said he would be my temp sponsor and that was what I was told to look for by a speaker in rehab...Because I asked him how I should get one. This guy told me about his sponsor...Another thing that speaker told me to look for.....And we started on the steps...He took me through the steps and is a good friend today as well as my sponsor today. I had people that I liked better in that meeting...I looked for someone that was serious about it...It worked for me.

And congrats on one week and an incredible journey in front of you...

Fenris

I really kinda lucked out and was more or less led to my sponsor by a mutual friend, but I can tell you from my experience that you want a sponsor who's worked the steps and applies them to his/her daily life. I personally wanted someone with some sobriety (at least a year or so), who still attended meetings regularly and said things that made sense to me. Someone who was still regularly involved and enthusiastic about AA and the Steps. I also wanted someone who had some experience with being married and raising kids, just because that would make it more likely that he'd faced some of things I had/would. Basically, I didn't want the blind leading the blind, yanno? Like I said, I got lucky, because my sponsor is all of those things and I didn't have to bounce around to find what I needed. Your sponsor doesn't have to be someone that you can be best friends with, but I think you should have some things in common with them. You don't have to have a temporary sponsor first; and once you do have a sponsor, that doesn't mean you can't look for someone else. As for how long it takes, I hope you find a sponsor today. Find someone who has what you want and ask them to sponsor you. At the end of a lot of meetings, they'll ask who is interested in sponsoring and hands will be raised.

It's been my experience that having a sponsor isn't always fun. But a good sponsor isn't going to blow smoke up your ass. He'll tell you how it is, whether you like it or not. And he's not a saint; he doesn't always get it right. But I know if I ever get in a place where I don't know what to do, I've got someone in my corner that I can rely on who will try to help lead me to an answer based on the Big Book, his personal experience and the 12 Steps. I hope you find something like that.

--Fenris.

FlyerFan

Find someone who has what you want. Maybe theres a guy who shares things you like? You like his character or personality? Make sure the person is serious about their own recovery as well, you don't want the blind leading the blind, lol.

DayTrader

The whole "look for someone who has what you want" didn't make sense to me when I was new. I didn't really know what I wanted.... but I knew I didn't want to keep feeling the way I was feeling. Some folks will tell you to wait for the perfect person....others will tell you to take a leap of faith and get moving now and change later if you need to. Truth is, both strategies can work well and both can be disappointments.

I was taught to "turn it over" like the 3rd step suggests......to put the sponsorship deal in God's hands. That doesn't mean sit back and wait though.... we have to pull our end of the weight too. That means you have to "put it out there" that you're looking for a sponsor: When they ask for announcements at a meeting: grab a pair, stand up, and announce that you're serious about working the AA program, want to work the steps the way the Big Book suggests, and that you're looking for a hand from someone who's worked the AA program as it was designed (vs the 100's of way's ppl sometimes work "their version" of AA's program).

Another way, and an easier way, is to start asking ppl on the side who they'd recommend. Ask the strong members, not the other newcomers.....you want advice from ppl who know the program and know the other members. They'll give you some names.... I'll betcha the same short list of names comes up. Shadow those folks. Sit with them, watch them, watch what they do, how do they treat ppl, are they helpful, are they smiling and happy. If you don't get any strong recommendations, find another meeting.......trust me on that one. And really, don't expect that
just looking at one meeting is sufficient. I see a lot of guys at my Tuesday meeting who don't know better / are too lazy to keep looking hook up with guys who have sober time but don't know the first thing about real sobriety......or how to get it.....or how to maintain it. They just pick someone they think will be good. --in a nutshell, you want someone good...start asking around for who IS good.