Angrytherapy

Ok let me begin by saying yes I am very angry. VERY angry.

Is the place I'm going to going out of business or something? Label me an alcoholic is this some kind of sick joke?

Let me begin with my story. Yes I got a DWI about a month ago, I'd say it was a pretty honest mistake. I went out drinking had a decent amount to drink and went back to my friends house. Before we all went to bed we took a last round of shots and said goodnight. A lot of people were sleeping there so I was stuck sleeping on a chair with my feet up on a table. I was there for a couple hours and nodded off towards the end only to wake up with horrible back pains. I figured its been a couple hours I feel fine and I'm good to go. Maybe this was irresponsible and you can crucify me for the decision but what is done is done. I still believe I did the right thing by getting a little rest and have solid downtime before driving, instead of leaving the bar and hopping straight into my car, which ALOT of people do.

Yadda yadda, I got arrested handcuffed, blew a .16 (I seriously think their machine is flawed).

So I took the initiative and took care of court order business before I was actually ordered to do so. I went to a local clinic that offered OASAS screenings. They asked me all the generic questions about alcoholism and my habits, family life etc.

Let me begin by saying yes I did party a lot through high school and college, not that much by some standards Friday+Saturday, occasional Thursday. Now ever since graduation we have all toned it down, yes including myself. For the past year or so I go out maybe once a week Friday or Saturday and some weeks I just don't go out at all and relax at home on my PS3. When I do go out yes I do drink, maybe 8-10 drinks tops though. (4-6 hour period). I stick to my light beers and the occasional shot.

Ever since the DWI I have not drank once, but have gone out every weekend. I haven't drank in a month with no problems and still have a great time when I go out with my friends. I just order a coke w/ lime or something similar so I don't stand there awkwardly with nothing in my hands at a bar. I also never drank by myself or drank because I was depressed etc.

How on earth am I classified as an alcoholic that needs a YEAR of treatment and group sessions? I'm sorry but I'm really angry about it and feel like I'm being scammed and all they want is my money.

In your opinions based on has transpired, is it really necessary for me to have go through therapy...for a year?...that I have to pay for? I accept that I should be punished for what has happened. I took public transit to work (2-3 hours) for this month (license suspended), took a hit on insurance rates, degraded by correctional officers, and will have to pay substantial fines in the future along with DDP classes. I accept all that but to be classed as an alcoholic that needs a year of therapy???

edit: Apologies, it appears that the majority of threads here are people with serious issues and requests for help. Best of luck to everyone here that are on the road to abstaining from alcohol. I'd still very much appreciate if anyone could give me some an opinion on my situation so I don't feel like a crazy person.

DayTrader

I got a dui back in 2000..... felt the same exact way. Didn't drink for 6 months. It was hard at first but became no big deal. 5 and 6 years later I got DUI #2 and #3..... turns out all those "opinions" about me from 2000 really were right after all, even though I was convinced (at the time) they were wrong.

As for the penalties not being to your liking...I can get with that too. I had a year and a half of all those things and because I was pissed about it, I just went through the motions, closed my mind off to accepting any of it as reality, and therefore got nothing out of the experience. Whether it's fair or not......I'd say you got off light....and I'd say I got off light too (though I certainly didn't believe that at the time). DUI penalties in MANY other countries are MUCH more severe than in the US and truthfully, I think ours should be much tougher. I've got no doubt that will **** you off.....and probably some others too....but that's ok.......it's my opinion and you're entitled to your own on the matter too. You're lucky you didn't blow a .16 in a state with the "super DUI" laws in place. You would have been hit a lot harder than you were.

You blew a .16 and thought "fine and good to go." "Normal drinkers" don't feel "fine" at .16...and you'd already had a couple hours of sleep - so you were, but admission, already coming down from a higher # earlier in the night. --and I'm not throwing stones....... I blew .22, .24 and .24 and felt "fine and good to go" each time myself. Also.....for the most part....."normal drinkers" don't get dui's.......and your case, as you described it, doesn't sound like "normal drinker getting a surprisingly bad brake" to me. You, like me, didn't do the right thing..... period. We got drunk and drove. It doesn't matter that others do it......it doesn't matter that we felt ok....it doesn't matter that we have been far more messed up on other occasions and this time seemed like a fluke...... We both willingly broke the law and there's a price to pay.


........and just outta curiosity.....did they specifically "classify you as an alcoholic" or does it say something to the effect of "problems with alcohol....therapy and classes recommended?" What did their recommendation say SPECIFICALLY?

Angrytherapy

I understand that alcoholism is a serious problem, and that it is indeed an addiction. I firmly believe that I'm not an alcoholic, however it is always difficult to admit to a problem if there is one. I swear by all these facts and if in any of your opinions I do need help I will take it into consideration.

DayTrader

What's an alcoholic? .......I'm asking what your definition of one is.

awuh1

Hmmm, I'm sort of at a loss. For a first offence DUI it does sound a bit extreme, based on my experience. I'm not making any judgment on the state of your alcohol dependence or lack thereof. You might want to ask around and see what the standard sentence for a first DUI is in your area is. See if you can gather more info and perhaps appeal the sentence. Then make sure the people doing the treatment are not the same ones doing the assessment. If so there could be a conflict of interest.

Dee74

Hi AT

I'm sorry you're angry but it would be impossible for any of us to judge you alcoholic or non alcoholic, especially on the basis on one post....and wouldn't change your situation either way.

I'm not in the US so I have no knowledge of OASAS but, if it helps, you got off more lightly than you would have in my country....you could have been looking at a $2000 fine, licence disqualification and probable jail time (9 months max).

D

Angrytherapy

I agree 100% with you. I know to make different choices after the experience. I'm not saying what I did was right, it was for sure the wrong thing to do. I accept everything that I deserve. The recommendation is I have an alcohol problem and I will need to attend one, one on one therapy session a week along with one group session a week for the first 15 weeks.

As far as blowing a .16 and feeling good to go, that's simply an effect of alcohol. Distorts perception which results in poor decisions. After this experience I now know to make different decisions. I stopped drinking to prove to myself that I can stop at anytime with problems...and I have succeeded. I'll probably stay clean for another couple weeks to further prove my resolve. I'm the type of person that can stop on a dime. I smoked cigarettes for 6 years and one day decided that it was gross. I haven't touched one in two years. I now know how to make different decisions, I will now always cope with any sleeping situation and even have a couple blankets and pillows in my trunk just to be prepared for any situation.

DWI laws are there for a reason as they are a leading cause of accidents. There are however, more pressing matters as far as traffic safety is concerned. Non of which I will discuss on these forums as the topics are controversial.

jv369

i don't think anyone here can say if you are or are not an alcoholic. i do have a couple observations though. even though you don't go out and drink everyday, 8-10 drinks in one night is considered excessive medically. also, sleeping for a couple hours does not negate a night of heavy drinking. always remember, 1 unit of alcohol takes a healthy body 1 hour to metabolize. after a night of heavy drinking you could still have alcohol in your blood the morning after.....regardless of how you feel.

when i got my dui i blew .18 3 hours after i stopped drinking. i didn't feel drunk, but i was.

edit: the courts labeling you as an alcoholic is just the legal system, whether it's right or wrong to make blanket statements about drunk drivers you just have to deal with it. edit again: i have no idea what this oasis system is, so i am making assumptions with my last statement.

Angrytherapy

Yes in New York a first offense DWI does not carry severe penalties, neither is your second. However the third results in a felony charge and if you manage to get a 5th you can no longer drive. Ever. Along with jail time, fines, interlock ignition systems etc.

Thank you for the responses so far they have calmed me down. As far as my definition of an alcoholic I'd say someone who one day decides that they want to stop but they can't. Regardless of their reasoning for drinking whether it be stress, depression etc. My primary issue is that the therapy sessions will not be required by the courts. I've stopped drinking cold turkey with no ill effect. I even still go out and have an equal amount of fun. My issue is that I'll have to walk into a room with a therapist/group of people, when I can really handle the issue on my own. This may sound prideful and arrogant but I know myself pretty well, I spend a lot of time self-reflecting. I just disagree with the OASAS system in regards to writing a poor recommendation and can say with some confidence that they are just looking to make a profit from me.

I have an excellent career where the sky is the limit, I train year round for triathlons and am a volunteer firefighter. Alcohol does not have any adverse effect on any of these activities.

DayTrader

Well Angry...... I appreciate the posts. It's been a big trip down memory lane for me.....and I really do appreciate that.

I'd suggest that, if you're interested, it would be good to hang around here a while.......get some info on what alcoholism really is and isn't from regular ppl who HAVE it (not someone who you may feel is trying to sell your a bill of goods that you have it too), and then you can make an informed decision for yourself. FWIW, THE biggest and best indicator of whether you're alcoholic or not has to do with how you feel once you've started to drink - Once you have one or two....how do you feel? Do you tend to feel like that's enough or do you tend to want more? I almost ALLLLLWAYS tended to want more....that's called a physical craving - the desire for more once you've started. "Normal" or "moderate" drinkers never have that experience....problem drinkers almost always do.

When I was in your shoes, I was sooo intent on proving I wasn't an alcoholic that I wouldn't even consider the suggestion that I was. Not very scientific of me, yanno? -- setting out to prove my own theory and then disregarding all the evidence that contradicted what I wanted to find.....

Anyway, it's cool that you're here. I hope you stick around and do some more reading/posting. There's much to learn.

langkah

I really hated to get stuck in the system and greatly disliked jumping through their silly and authoritarian hoops and rules and dealing with their stupid policies too. Totally understand your thoughts on this.

Every time I was minding my own business and hurting no one and simply trying to get home where obviously I would effect no one and pure bad luck and circumstance would make me a victim of those who had nothing better to do and should have been attending to serious matters, which is their job and what my taxes pay them to do, it made me even angrier.

Whatever you do, if it happens again don't express your disgust with them and withhold information and go against their orders while in custody. Save your outrage for later when you've been released. You don't want to experience the limits of their responses while you're a victim of their misunderstandings of your special circumstances. They are programmed to see you a certain way and will not allow themselves to be enlightened, no matter how well you explain the extenuating circumstances that make you unlike everyone they usually are required to deal with.

You know that later you can come here and vent and vent, because here we get exactly where you're coming from.

Odds are that you're good to go for most of the year they will have you under their thumb. When you begin to rebel at what they're putting you through by having a few drinkies like any normal person, be super-extra careful.

Threshold

My old room mate got a DUI. His first. He had to do all you speak of as well as get the breathalyzer on his truck for a year and serve three weekends in jail.

He actually got the DUI when the cops found him sleeping off his drunk in his car. I am saying this because you say you are keeping a pillow and blanket in your truck. Don't sleep drunk in your truck, because if you, truck keys, and blood alcohol level are all found together in the truck, even if it is not in motion, you might be looking at a second DUI.

A DUI doesn't mean you're an alcoholic, but it DOES mean you have a problem with alcohol. It impairs your judgement enough that you would think it was OK to get behind the wheel wasted, and take the chance of harming yourself and other people, and an expensive vehicle, AND take the risk of getting caught and having all this horrible crap to deal with.

The purpose of all this horrible crap is to make it darn near certain that you never repeat the incident of allowing alcohol to impair your judgment so that you would get behind the wheel intoxicated and repeat this. And all your friends, coworkers, and family members, and now the fine folk here who hear about what a tough price you've paid, will also be less apt to drink and drive.

The state doesn't really care whether you're an alcoholic. You've demonstrated a problem with alcohol. You now have the opportunity to find out how serious that problem is, both in a group and personal setting. You can fight and squirm all you want, but you still have to go. OR you can use the enforced sessions to the best of your advantage. Learn something, share something. If your paying for the individual counseling, maybe you have other issues you want to work on too. May as well get your money's worth.

The state doesn't care if you are an alcoholic. The car repair place, should you wreck your truck doesn't care either. No discounts just because you are NOT an alcoholic. If you had harmed another person or damaged their property by driving intoxicated, they wouldn't feel ok about it because you are not an alcoholic. Whether or not you are an alcoholic doesn't alter any of the issues of driving while intoxicated. That's for you to work out later, and the state has mandated that you get the opportunity to do that.

If you are not an alcoholic, then I am absolutely certain this is your first, last and only DUI experience. Because no one would take the risk of repeating this unless they were hooked in a way bad way.

If you were at risk to become one, this may have derailed that, because you don't drink alone and it's hard to imagine that this won't seriously change your drinking/partying habits unless you have a tee totaler designated driver. I am sure you wouldn't ask any of your friends to risk a DUI driving you home.

This is going to be a total wake up call for a lot of people.

freshstart57

On SR, I have *listened* while one member who had lost husband and six week old baby to a drunk driver, attempted to console another member who had driven drunk and killed her fiancé. Being treated for alcoholism after a DUI conviction is not a case of mistaken identity. I would like to hear any argument to that effect made to either of these members.

OK, go.

Db1105

IMHO, The DUI punishments are way to lenient. You get behind the wheel drunk, you put evertone's lives in danger. I'm all for at least a few months in jail for a first offense. Then some major jail time afterword. Society still treats it as a joke.

I say to bad you don't like it. You really need to really look yourself. You certainly are not acting like a mature adult in reaction to your criminal punishment. The bottom line is for your crime you really are getting off pretty easy. Had you even accidently injured someone with a .15 you would be in a lot more trouble.

Most those I know who didn't have a problem with drinking were humbled by experience and punishment. They didn't try to justify anything, point fingers, say everyone is doing it, , but just accepted their mistake. If you're not an alcoholic and want an opinion, I'd say it's time for you to grow up.

katrinka

Wow, fantastic posts. All I can say is that even though I don't like to say I'm an alcoholic, thanks god I quit drinking so I'll never have to go through a DUI which was probably in my future. I would be mortified, humiliated, shamed, probably lose my much loved job, and my family would be horrified. I'm not throwing stones, angrytherapy, but I don't understand your attitude.

GirlFromCO

LOL!

2granddaughters

Angry, when I said to the AA oldtimers "This hasn't happened to ME" or "That hasn't happened to ME" , they said "Just put the word YET after your exclamation".
Hasn't happened YET.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R

Angrytherapy

Thank you all for kind words and encouraging me to hang around the forums. I will certainly do so and hope to contribute something positive. For the record I feel like an idiot with this name now.

As far as not understanding my attitude and growing up, let me assure you I've achieved every goal I've set for myself in the past 6 years. With many more short term and long term goals lined up. I'm 23 and I have a great career, my own home and am financially independent. I also have a healthy 401k and personal savings for when I retire. I contribute to society and my community by volunteering with the FD and the local animal shelter. I pay my taxes and even contribute to various charities to support those who are in need.

I will say this one more time, I accept what I did was wrong and indeed a mistake. One that after all this is over with will never be repeated. Yes to those who have lost or know someone who has lost due to a DWI/DUI this indeed does sound like a slap on the wrist. I apologize for your loss.

This is my line of thought:
I know what I did was wrong and irresponsible and I am willing to pay the consequences.

A) Arrested, thrown in the drunk tank, brought to a holding cell, transported to court in handcuffs was a very humbling experience. I deserved to be treated in a poor fashion for what I had done I accept that. (I can see how being arrested makes people worse, I overheard several conversations and lets just say some people now have more connections for illegal substances.)

B) Having to take time off work to go to court and a public arrest record, I also accept and deserve this.

C) Fines - Money is the motivating factor in these cases. If the state is ever short on revenue you'll find an increase in ticketing and an increase in arrests. Fines and surcharges generate millions if not billions of dollars for the state. Judges are also in the business of ripping people off by offering deals. IE: You ran a stop sign, I'll reduce the fine to the minimum amount. What happens next is instead of paying $150 for the ticket you pay $75, and get hit by a $700 surcharge ticket from the state. The judge isn't legally obligated to tell you this, so he/she does not. I accept that I have to pay these fines and have no issue in doing so. Even though I'd like to see my fines go to restitution for those who have lost to a DWI/DUI. I accept the fines and deserve to be penalized.

D) DDP (DWI/DUI Classes) - What you learn here are the effects of alcohol and the dangers of drinking and driving. I will absolutely attend these classes at my own expense. I will learn a lot from the class and take much out of it. Even furthering my resolve to no longer drink and drive. I accept this with no problems what-so-ever.

OASAS Screening - This is where my frustration comes from. I will have to pay for a year of therapy and group sessions. I haven't drank in a month up until last night. DayTrader brought up an excellent point as far as alcoholism is concerned. "Can you have two beers and not crave more". I put this to the test as I already have proven to myself that I can stop drinking. Last night I went out with some co-workers and yes, I drank a couple beers and stopped with no urge to drink more. This afternoon I went to see a private therapist for a second opinion. Believe it or not, she laughed at the notion that I would have to see a counselor and attend group meetings for a year.

Long story short, what I did was wrong. I am deeply sorry about it and I'm willing to pay my dues where they are due. However I believe OASAS has unfairly diagnosed me and I have no avenue of recourse. I don't owe this organization anything and I'm nothing more than a source of revenue for them. This is what is frustrating me.

edit: I'd like to express my gratitude for the responses given. Everyone here is great and are honestly, honest. All criticism has been constructive and I'm happy to be in a forum where there is no name calling or useless insults.

eh1988

I'm not sure why you keep bringing up your social status but since you have....I'm also 23, I also own my own house, I also have a "promising career"...... and I'm an alcoholic trying to get clean. I've never had a DUI *knock on wood* but it seems like you are really trying to convince yourself that you're not an alcoholic(not saying that you are). None of us know you, so we can't tell you what you are or are not. But the fact that you came to an alcoholic/recovery website, to tell us about your story and get some sort of reassurance tells me a lot. It seems like you are more upset about being labeled as an alcoholic by the state, on some piece of paper, than you are about the fact that you got behind the wheel while you were well over the legal limit. Focus on what you did wrong, not what someone is labeling you as.

justhadenough

If you post on the secular connections thread re AVRT/RR you may get some advice on the recovery aspect of your punishment. I don't think the state can MAKE you go to AA/into recovery for a year etc. The alternative is prison though I think? Which would you prefer? This is covered in the Rational recovery book as they don't believe in the group recovery movement concept. I'm sure someone else will know more