rant'n a little bit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: southwest
Posts: 5
rant'n a little bit
I have had a lot of things on my mind here lately so since I am always a sounding board for everyone else I'm gonna use this as mine. What is It with people who find trying to ruin someones happiness in order to make theirs better? Sometimes I wish I could be a selfish person. And then maybe I should start. I used to have a lot of friends that were always there for me even if I just needed to vent.eventually et all grow up at some point. But one thing I am always finding Is everyone always find me to be replaceabl. Let me tell you it hurts. I myself try not to be judgementa against others because In this long journey that I have had I had to eliminate people for that reason. Im only good enough for people when something Is needed....whether it be learning how o drive a stick shift needing money for something...etc. this week has been tough bcause maybe I'm afraid to speak my mind in worry about what the results may be. Living with my ah things can be so great then it take something so little to turn it all around and I'm in a lot of silent pain right now. But my life still has to go on. I still have to work to pay for a car that just has problems after problems. I still get up and do my daily routin. And maybe I should speak to the ones that I have a problem with but just don't know how to say It
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Columbia MO
Posts: 1,127
Hello wonderwall2,
Sorry you are hurting, we are here to listen anytime you need to vent.
I understand what you are talking about, I call it "eating my pain" when you grow up in an alcoholic and abusive home you get used to it.
It is really hard for friends to understand what we go through, that is why this is such a great place to come blow off steam, get some comfort, or hear how someone else solved a similar problem.
Please come back often,
Big hugs,
Bill
Sorry you are hurting, we are here to listen anytime you need to vent.
I understand what you are talking about, I call it "eating my pain" when you grow up in an alcoholic and abusive home you get used to it.
It is really hard for friends to understand what we go through, that is why this is such a great place to come blow off steam, get some comfort, or hear how someone else solved a similar problem.
Please come back often,
Big hugs,
Bill
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi wonderwall2-
in my life, i learned how to ignore my own needs and take care of everyone else's.
this i learned at the foot of my codependent mother.
i learned to not rock the boat, remain silent.
this i learned from my domineering, demanding father.
it was not until recently that i begin to unlearn.
my therapist lit a lightbulb in my head when she said "your emotional needs were not met as a child". revelation!
for myself, i categorize people as either sts (service-to-self) or sto (service-to-other). it is very tricky sometimes determining the sts people, as they often appear to be kind and generous in the beginning to lure us into their lair. they are the charmers. they are actors.
i have discovered (the hard way) that they will suck me dry. i call them energy vampires. they literally suck the energy out of me, beit demanding my attention or resources.
i want clear of them, those sts people. not in a mean way, but they can go back to their own people and i will go back to my own. they can all use and lie and manipulate each other, as i will no longer be amongst them.
i will cut, and i will cut quick and i will cut clean.
my people, we will nuture, love, respect and help each other. we will not leave the old and sick behind and we will take the children under our wings. united we stand and divided we fall. and they will fall, because an army divided will turn on itself and an army united will claim the victory.
but how to identify them when they are so skilled at their masquerade of friendship?
a good test is to create a situation where they need to make a sacrifice for you. this is easily done and quite revealing. because they won't do it. oh, they say they'll do it, but they never take action. it's only words.
for myself, i'm done having the life sucked out of me by people who are solely out for their own gain, without consideration of the wreckage and damage they leave in their wake.
in my life, i learned how to ignore my own needs and take care of everyone else's.
this i learned at the foot of my codependent mother.
i learned to not rock the boat, remain silent.
this i learned from my domineering, demanding father.
it was not until recently that i begin to unlearn.
my therapist lit a lightbulb in my head when she said "your emotional needs were not met as a child". revelation!
for myself, i categorize people as either sts (service-to-self) or sto (service-to-other). it is very tricky sometimes determining the sts people, as they often appear to be kind and generous in the beginning to lure us into their lair. they are the charmers. they are actors.
i have discovered (the hard way) that they will suck me dry. i call them energy vampires. they literally suck the energy out of me, beit demanding my attention or resources.
i want clear of them, those sts people. not in a mean way, but they can go back to their own people and i will go back to my own. they can all use and lie and manipulate each other, as i will no longer be amongst them.
i will cut, and i will cut quick and i will cut clean.
my people, we will nuture, love, respect and help each other. we will not leave the old and sick behind and we will take the children under our wings. united we stand and divided we fall. and they will fall, because an army divided will turn on itself and an army united will claim the victory.
but how to identify them when they are so skilled at their masquerade of friendship?
a good test is to create a situation where they need to make a sacrifice for you. this is easily done and quite revealing. because they won't do it. oh, they say they'll do it, but they never take action. it's only words.
for myself, i'm done having the life sucked out of me by people who are solely out for their own gain, without consideration of the wreckage and damage they leave in their wake.
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