Trying to get new sponsor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
Trying to get new sponsor
But trying to get someone I'm comfotable with me think I need someone that works me. Recovery is not so easy. But breathing, sober, walked my dog in the snow, helped a neiegbor talked to my mom Think the sponser thing hardest for me not a good AAer
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
There's not such thing as not a good AAer Fitz. Just get in there with an open mind, honesty, and willingness. That's all that you need.
As far as finding the right sponsor. It can be scary but just look for someone who has what you want and go for it.
Do you have a sponsor now?
As far as finding the right sponsor. It can be scary but just look for someone who has what you want and go for it.
Do you have a sponsor now?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Ive seen quite a few to have a stern sponsor
to have them go back out after aquiring sober
time in recovery.
Then there are those who keep it simple, like
me, living and incorperating the steps in my
everyday life.
I have a sponsor, the same one from 21 yrs ago,
that ive never replaced, and she is with me in
spirit each day as I never forget how I learned
from her to stay sober by living her recovery and
staying sober just merely thru her actions.
Thru her simple suggestions and gentle guidance
allowed me to learn to stay sober at my own pace.
I simple went to many meetings for myself because
I needed to be surrounded by others just like me.
Folks who have a problem drinking and learning how
to stay stopped one day at a time. If i needed to go
everyday till I began to understand the program of
recovery, I did. Same as it is with school. I had to
have my recovery books with me and attend meetings
to learn. some lessons have been hard to learn, but
in time i finally got it.
Ive learned over the past 21 yrs how to stay sober and
now I live a sober life.
to have them go back out after aquiring sober
time in recovery.
Then there are those who keep it simple, like
me, living and incorperating the steps in my
everyday life.
I have a sponsor, the same one from 21 yrs ago,
that ive never replaced, and she is with me in
spirit each day as I never forget how I learned
from her to stay sober by living her recovery and
staying sober just merely thru her actions.
Thru her simple suggestions and gentle guidance
allowed me to learn to stay sober at my own pace.
I simple went to many meetings for myself because
I needed to be surrounded by others just like me.
Folks who have a problem drinking and learning how
to stay stopped one day at a time. If i needed to go
everyday till I began to understand the program of
recovery, I did. Same as it is with school. I had to
have my recovery books with me and attend meetings
to learn. some lessons have been hard to learn, but
in time i finally got it.
Ive learned over the past 21 yrs how to stay sober and
now I live a sober life.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Oh yeah, I would imagine it would be. That's not something I've been through specifically although I have seen lots of people relapse that I thought were doing great. It's never easy.
Just do what you need to do for you Fitz. You'll be just fine.
Just do what you need to do for you Fitz. You'll be just fine.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Ive learned to never place anyone on a
pedestal, because even the one with many
yrs. sobriety is not exempt from picking up
a drink. They, just like I, are just one drink
away from a drunk.
That is why I wear my recovery armour
each day to ward off those temptations
lurking around me every day.
pedestal, because even the one with many
yrs. sobriety is not exempt from picking up
a drink. They, just like I, are just one drink
away from a drunk.
That is why I wear my recovery armour
each day to ward off those temptations
lurking around me every day.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: houston texas
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by mycoolfitz 
but trying to get someone i'm comfotable with me think i need someone that works me. Recovery is not so easy. But breathing, sober, walked my dog in the snow, helped a neiegbor talked to my mom think the sponser thing hardest for me not a good aaer
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: houston texas
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by PaperDolls
There's not such thing as not a good AAer Fitz. Just get in there with an open mind, honesty, and willingness. That's all that you need.
As far as finding the right sponsor. It can be scary but just look for someone who has what you want and go for it.
Do you have a sponsor now?
As far as finding the right sponsor. It can be scary but just look for someone who has what you want and go for it.
Do you have a sponsor now?
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
Fitz, I'm sorry to hear that your sponsor relapsed. It can happen to any of us. But that's their issue, not yours. It is certainly discouraging, but just remember ... your sobriety depends only on YOU, not on anyone else. Not your sponsor, not your family, not your friends ... just you.
All AA'ers are people just like us, whether they have 10 days or 10 years. We all have a monkey on our backs that will never go away and lies in wait very patiently for a chance to catch us off-guard. Have empathy and compassion for your sponsor, but don't let his/her relapse cause you to go off the rails too. You still have YOU, and you have us. Is there anyone else in your home group that you would like to have as a sponsor?
All AA'ers are people just like us, whether they have 10 days or 10 years. We all have a monkey on our backs that will never go away and lies in wait very patiently for a chance to catch us off-guard. Have empathy and compassion for your sponsor, but don't let his/her relapse cause you to go off the rails too. You still have YOU, and you have us. Is there anyone else in your home group that you would like to have as a sponsor?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 456
Originally Posted by REJAG22
i just need some one to converse with cuz no one here where i live "really understand "
The best place to find people like that is in AA.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Best way to pick a sponsor? ..... I have a sure-fire way.
1. hit a fair amount of "different" meetings. Don't pretend that all groups are equal. 'Round here, there are some groups with lots of successes and others where NOBODY stays sober.
2. Ask the ppl AT the meetings who they'd pick or who they'd recommend you put on your short list..... (ppl already IN AA and familiar with it will know what to look for in a good sponsor......when you're new, you don't have the experience with the program to know who's solid and who's not). Usually, only a couple names will come up and they'll be the same names..... now you know who to consider.
3. follow those "recommended" ppl around.... sit by them, watch what they do, listen to them. Look to see that they're smiling (who wants to get sober and be grumpy, yanno?). Look to see that they're helping other ppl....or willing to help other ppl.
4. Put it out there that you're looking for a sponsor when it's your time to talk. The best / strongest members will come up to you and volunteer.... The folks who are using AA as a crutch or not really participating in working the program will be too concerned about themselves to volunteer to help you.....only the creme of the crop who are really putting the AA program into action will make a move.
5. If you do #2-4 a couple times and nobody comes up to you or you don't get any clear direction on who's solid.......you know what kind of meeting you've found - probably not a great meeting and it'll be time to go find a better one.
1. hit a fair amount of "different" meetings. Don't pretend that all groups are equal. 'Round here, there are some groups with lots of successes and others where NOBODY stays sober.
2. Ask the ppl AT the meetings who they'd pick or who they'd recommend you put on your short list..... (ppl already IN AA and familiar with it will know what to look for in a good sponsor......when you're new, you don't have the experience with the program to know who's solid and who's not). Usually, only a couple names will come up and they'll be the same names..... now you know who to consider.
3. follow those "recommended" ppl around.... sit by them, watch what they do, listen to them. Look to see that they're smiling (who wants to get sober and be grumpy, yanno?). Look to see that they're helping other ppl....or willing to help other ppl.
4. Put it out there that you're looking for a sponsor when it's your time to talk. The best / strongest members will come up to you and volunteer.... The folks who are using AA as a crutch or not really participating in working the program will be too concerned about themselves to volunteer to help you.....only the creme of the crop who are really putting the AA program into action will make a move.
5. If you do #2-4 a couple times and nobody comes up to you or you don't get any clear direction on who's solid.......you know what kind of meeting you've found - probably not a great meeting and it'll be time to go find a better one.
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