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what to do with my time since i am anti-social??

Old 02-28-2012, 06:25 AM
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what to do with my time since i am anti-social??

Hi people. I'm new to this site and trying to quit drinking(this is my first day im trying, but not for the first time).I saw some peoples posts about making sober friends and getting out more instead of being in solitude. but, even before i started drinking ten years ago I prefer to be in solitude, I prefer to be at home and I'm not one for wanting company.Ive spent nearly every night drinking my anxiety away so my question is what kinds of activities could I do to distract my thoughts from wanting to drink?
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:42 AM
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Welcome Mrs. Brown...I was once told that alcoholics are the only people that cure lonliness with isolation...I found that to be true for me. The only soluition I have found that works for me is to be around alcoholics that have stopped or want to stop for good. Somehow....I fit right in with them.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:51 AM
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thats a very interesting way of looking at it i never thought of that thank you. maybe i can spend my time on here as a way of being around people that are sober. i just cant force myself to go "out" there isnt anything i want to do or spend money on.thanks for your response i dont feel so alone
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:54 AM
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Welcome, Mrs. Brown!

This may or may not be you, but I used to be a very social person before I started drinking heavily. The drinking made me very ANTIsocial and made me isolate myself more and more. When I stopped drinking, I figured out that I was incredibly lonely and even though had felt that my isolation was a "choice," it really wasn't ... it was the alcohol that did it to me. I started going to AA, started making sober friends and doing social things with them and to my surprise, I found myself really enjoying being "out there" again and being sociable.

Solitude is one thing ... isolation is another. Solitude can be a good thing when the time is used positively. Isolation, especially to the alcoholic, can be deadly.

Whatever path you choose to get sober, I wish you success on your journey. Glad you're with us.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:54 AM
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AA is free.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:18 AM
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I was never a social being. I had a huge collection of Koala Bears when I was younger. Not only are they cute, but they hate people, too. I fit right in with them.

In early recovery, I did go to AA meetings. They're the only meetings I could find around here. I found someone to guide me through the steps and something happened. I began having true compassion for other people. Today, I have a group of friends to talk to, get a cup of coffee with, go rafting (so out of my character, but I did it--in a bathing suit), bowling, movies. Yeah, some of these cost a little money, some were "gifted" to me so I didn't have to pay anything on my almost non-existent funds. I haven't gone without food and all of my bills keep getting paid and I have some funds to do things with. And I am still seeking employment. That's sobriety.

The meetings helped me to talk one on one, coffee gatherings helped me in small groups, speaking helped me in larger groups. We are there to help each other in our recovery from this thing we call alcoholism. See, alcohol was my solution for many years. I created bad habits. Today, I am turning this around and learning to create better habits.

I enjoy people today. Who knew I really liked people, I just didn't like myself and projected that on to others?? This includes lack of trust. If I can't trust me, how can I trust you? I turned this around, too.

A lot of people I know limit their activities with others. My social calendar is not full, but it is full enough today.

I don't speak for you, but you never know what's good for you until you try it. The steps are my new solution. I can be alone if I choose or I can be with people.

My life has a new balance. Really, people aren't meant to live a life of solitude constantly....

At home, I have several projects I am doing. Painting, organizing everything again, crafts, home decorating on a $ store budget (hey, I can make that stuff look okay!), exercising, meditating, reading with a clear mind, cooking. I don't spend all of my time with other people. Life is a balancing act! One without deception, delusion, or total isolation.

I wish you well in your sober journey!
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:24 AM
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I can completely relate to that myself but in the past I would quit (really I was just putting my booze on hold, I don't consider it quitting), I isolated, and then eventually I drank again.

Four weeks ago I finally pushed through my denial and admitted that I needed help, what a relief but it was also terrifying.

My natural inclination is to isolate but I know if I do I'll relapse, so off I go to AA Meetings, Group Therapy, I volunteer at an Assisted Living home, I call my Sponsor.....I have to talk myself into doing these things on a DAILY basis but it's what is keeping me sober.

I'm also finding people genuinely like me, and even cooler is I like me.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:28 AM
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I love your signature! It's a social scene of a BBQ! Cool.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:42 AM
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thank you guys for your kind replies i feel so much better. i was the nerd in school so ive always been a loner and have grown accustomed to living that way, even before i started drowning my problems away. when I "grew into" my looks i started getting a lot of unwanted attention and continue to do so(im 32 now), so it makes me feel awkward doing what most of my friends want to do. they all want to go clubbing(i dont go clubbing,ever..ive only been to two in my life)and to bars and such which is also something i obviously cannot do now. it seems like a burden to me to make plans with people these days, I only want to be around my fiance and my family because people seem so selfish all the time,they only want to do what they want to do. I actually think this site will be very therapeutic for me as i can feel like im socializing without having to go out if that makes any sense.my fiance is in jail right now over something that was not his fault so I'm especially lonely sometimes now, even though we talk several times a day and he's on work release. i told him im on this site he is happy for me as he worries about my drinking habits
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:44 AM
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thanks its my three favorite things to do: barbecue,relax and play with my cat Tarrant LOL
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:16 AM
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Originally Posted by KAMRIZ View Post
I can completely relate to that myself but in the past I would quit (really I was just putting my booze on hold, I don't consider it quitting), I isolated, and then eventually I drank again.

Four weeks ago I finally pushed through my denial and admitted that I needed help, what a relief but it was also terrifying.

My natural inclination is to isolate but I know if I do I'll relapse, so off I go to AA Meetings, Group Therapy, I volunteer at an Assisted Living home, I call my Sponsor.....I have to talk myself into doing these things on a DAILY basis but it's what is keeping me sober.

I'm also finding people genuinely like me, and even cooler is I like me.
What a great post...I read stuff like that...And it makes me happy. Thank you. I like you too....
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:49 AM
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Thank you Sapling, I've read many of your posts and I like you too.
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