Relentlessly haunted by the past today.
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Relentlessly haunted by the past today.
Every now and then I have days when melancholy washes over me and I'm haunted by things in my past.
Those who have read my previous posts, know I lived in a big metropolitan city for the past 10 years, living an unsustainable life. After crashing big time last fall, I moved back in with my parents and am struggling to get my financial situation into some kind of shape. I'm almost 29.
Today, I'm feeling especially sad about my addict (ex?) boyfriend I had to leave behind at my previous location. He's younger than me and has no parents who will take him in... My parents wonät accept me brining him. Homophobia can be a bitch.
Either way, I'm not feeling resentful. I am just sad that I can't do anything to help him. I guess I need to reconcile myself with the fact that I can't help anyone before helping myself...
I wish my head would be quiet and stop teeling me things I don't want to hear.
Those who have read my previous posts, know I lived in a big metropolitan city for the past 10 years, living an unsustainable life. After crashing big time last fall, I moved back in with my parents and am struggling to get my financial situation into some kind of shape. I'm almost 29.
Today, I'm feeling especially sad about my addict (ex?) boyfriend I had to leave behind at my previous location. He's younger than me and has no parents who will take him in... My parents wonät accept me brining him. Homophobia can be a bitch.
Either way, I'm not feeling resentful. I am just sad that I can't do anything to help him. I guess I need to reconcile myself with the fact that I can't help anyone before helping myself...
I wish my head would be quiet and stop teeling me things I don't want to hear.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Yeah, I get it. You are a very good person, and have a conscience. I am that way too, but sometimes the sensitivity is so painful.
From the information you have posted, you are doing the very best thing for you. Remember, you can't help someone else if you don't take care of yourself. You have to get well to give others help, even those you love. Have you researched organizations that can help him? I don't know how bad off he is,, but I have herad Salvation Army will help those with no place to go who want to get sober. I work for the State of TX, and you would be surprised at the number of resources available for people that are in a bad situation . Remeber, however, that your sobriety comes first. I have a hard time writing that because there have been tiimes when I have put rescuing someone else to the detriment of taking care of myself - it was a disaster. You have a good heart and deserve a sober, happy life. Bless you for caring about others, but take care of yourself first. You have to....that is how it works. Best wishes.
From the information you have posted, you are doing the very best thing for you. Remember, you can't help someone else if you don't take care of yourself. You have to get well to give others help, even those you love. Have you researched organizations that can help him? I don't know how bad off he is,, but I have herad Salvation Army will help those with no place to go who want to get sober. I work for the State of TX, and you would be surprised at the number of resources available for people that are in a bad situation . Remeber, however, that your sobriety comes first. I have a hard time writing that because there have been tiimes when I have put rescuing someone else to the detriment of taking care of myself - it was a disaster. You have a good heart and deserve a sober, happy life. Bless you for caring about others, but take care of yourself first. You have to....that is how it works. Best wishes.
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