Blaizze

So, I caved and drank last night. 4 drinks to be exact. I know it has no bearing because I know I am trying to stop. But the reason was because I found out a close family member passed away, I am on emergency leave on my way back home now. Had a couple drinks on the train ride to the airport and then 2 more on the plane to calm my nerves and help me sleep. Heres to starting sobriety over I guess...
SOB, I knew I shouldn't have gave in. I almost feel worse knowing that I can't even stick to my own guns when I say I am not going to do something.

Mainza

Sorry about your loss.

"Had a couple drinks on the train ride to the airport and then 2 more on the plane to calm my nerves and help me sleep." It seems the drinks didn't calm your nerves but made it worse because now you are starting over. Learn from that mistake and move on. It is not too late to "stick to your guns." I think it is good that you are upset because if you weren't, you wouldn't be in a position for recovery.

Purplecatlover

Life can be a tough! Just know, there's always tomorrow to stop again.
We understand. Sorry for your loss & best wishes on your recovery.
We are only human.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Blaizze.

Don't be too hard on yourself - grief is hard - it seems to be ingrained in society today to want to numb ourselves but that doesn't actually get us anywhere....

I think the natural thing is to feel the grief - it's what we're meant to do - it's not comfortable but it's ok to feel whatever feelings we feel, thats how we deal with stuff, IMO.

It's hard to change the habit of a lifetime....
Most of us have a couple of runs ups at this

As long as you follow through with the ideas you've been discussing in your other thread, this time can be different

D

Impurrfect

(((Blaizze))) - I agree..don't be so hard on yourself. Stopping the drinking or using (my experience) is hard enough....through someone dying you care about? It's pretty tough to not resort to what we've always done in the beginning.

I'm sorry for your loss. Consider the fact that you drank as another learning experience. You're not a failure unless you quit trying, and I just don't get that from you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

FlyerFan

Do not beat yourself up over this, I would have done the same thing regardless of my sobriety.....because I am an alcoholic.

instant

As part of my recovery I am learning that it is better not to run from pain, and also that it does not have to be acted on- but accepted as my response.

Sorry for your loss

artsoul

Sorry to hear about the death in your family. It's a challenge to stay sober in the beginning, even without something like this. Once you get more sober days under your belt you'll get your confidence back.

We're here if things get rocky again.......

sugarbear1

My condolences on your loss.

sugarbear1

I read your Day 5 post that you posted at 4:10 am EST.
AA meetings in Japan, for when you are ready to stay stopped:
https://www.google.com/search?q=aa+Y...ient=firefox-a

it's a google search.
Be well.

Blaizze

Thanks everyone for the condolences, my grandmothr will be sorely missed. She may finally be at peace now.
I haven't drank since the plane flight so I think I am going to just push through one day at a time. Here is to te end of 24hrs