Been a long time since I posted, but need some advice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Jacksonville Florida
Posts: 48
Been a long time since I posted, but need some advice
My husband is back at it again...surprise surprise. Anyway, I just bought my girls a new tv for their bedroom TODAY and when I came home, its gone. PAWNED. for drugs. Needless to say IM PISSED. He has now obtained a "pain management doctor" where he gets his Opiate RX, and has been selling and using opiates via IV.
I have half the mind to call his DR (I found his appointment card, this is how I found out) and tell them he's trafficking the drugs.
Should I?
I have half the mind to call his DR (I found his appointment card, this is how I found out) and tell them he's trafficking the drugs.
Should I?
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
If you made that call one of two things will happen:
1) Nothing.
2) Your AH will just find another source.
So making the call won't change what's going on with your AH.
That being said, IF the doctor is legit he will be grateful for the heads up and will cease writing the Rx.
If the doctor is not legit and the Rx continues, I would report him to the medical board in your state and to the police.
The Rx opiate scam is killing our citizens by the thousands and destroying lives in numbers much greater than that. Personally, I believe it takes the effort every last one of us in the fight against this enormous problem. I would make the call(s).
Have you considered notifying the police that your AH is selling drugs?
1) Nothing.
2) Your AH will just find another source.
So making the call won't change what's going on with your AH.
That being said, IF the doctor is legit he will be grateful for the heads up and will cease writing the Rx.
If the doctor is not legit and the Rx continues, I would report him to the medical board in your state and to the police.
The Rx opiate scam is killing our citizens by the thousands and destroying lives in numbers much greater than that. Personally, I believe it takes the effort every last one of us in the fight against this enormous problem. I would make the call(s).
Have you considered notifying the police that your AH is selling drugs?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
yeah, I guess if my ex's crack dealer had a biz card I would probably call the police on him.
that is....as long as it was a pretty quick taking-care-of-business call (individual voices DO make a difference, and the pill mills need to start getting "voiced down")
I would do it if I knew I wouldn't get caught up in the drama of reporting because then I could focus on the real issue, and that which I do have control over...my life.
I pray for all of us.
I am here to try to keep my focus on my recovery.
Each day I find myself resisting the urge to text...notice my yearning for his incoming texts...even in the face of recurring insanity. praying. one day at a time.
that is....as long as it was a pretty quick taking-care-of-business call (individual voices DO make a difference, and the pill mills need to start getting "voiced down")
I would do it if I knew I wouldn't get caught up in the drama of reporting because then I could focus on the real issue, and that which I do have control over...my life.
I pray for all of us.
I am here to try to keep my focus on my recovery.
Each day I find myself resisting the urge to text...notice my yearning for his incoming texts...even in the face of recurring insanity. praying. one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
So sorry for all this for you.
The doctor has a legal right to prescribe medication to patients who complain of pain. Some doctors just do not understand addiction. Others don't care. But you don't have enough information to know anything about this doctor.
If you call the doctor, he has no reason to believe you. He has no relationship with you and does not know if you are sane or crazy.
I agree that your husband is going to find and use opiates no matter what you do.
So, being unable to control the situation in any way, what would you like to do for yourself? If you choose to stay or go, you will need much help as the partner of an active drug addict. Do you have that help underway?
The doctor has a legal right to prescribe medication to patients who complain of pain. Some doctors just do not understand addiction. Others don't care. But you don't have enough information to know anything about this doctor.
If you call the doctor, he has no reason to believe you. He has no relationship with you and does not know if you are sane or crazy.
I agree that your husband is going to find and use opiates no matter what you do.
So, being unable to control the situation in any way, what would you like to do for yourself? If you choose to stay or go, you will need much help as the partner of an active drug addict. Do you have that help underway?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Jacksonville Florida
Posts: 48
I didn't call the Drs. office, yet. Its sickening really, he has no real injury but somehow he's convinced some dr that he is in as much pain as a Cancer patient
As far as divorce goes, thats underway. Although we are still married, I filed taxes and was ordered to either file with him jointly and collect earn income credit and split it or file separate and not be allowed to collect earned income. I was sour when I had to split the money with him but I got more filing jointly than I would have separetly, even tho I WORKED for most of last year, and made a majority of the money and took care of the kids. Oh well, thats money Im using to pay the lawyer and move far far away.
As for my girls new t.v.... I'm going to let him answer that question of what happened to it...
As far as divorce goes, thats underway. Although we are still married, I filed taxes and was ordered to either file with him jointly and collect earn income credit and split it or file separate and not be allowed to collect earned income. I was sour when I had to split the money with him but I got more filing jointly than I would have separetly, even tho I WORKED for most of last year, and made a majority of the money and took care of the kids. Oh well, thats money Im using to pay the lawyer and move far far away.
As for my girls new t.v.... I'm going to let him answer that question of what happened to it...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
You have not called the police because he has stolen from your house?
Do you think he will tell the truth when he tells the girls about the TV?
How old are the children? Do they know he is an addict?
It doesn't matter what he says, he does not care anymore. Not at all.
Please show your daughters that you will not allow anyone to steal from you or them.
You take the proper channels, and it will start some paperwork on him that you might (just saying might) need for divorce court.
Do they know he stole the tv from his daughters?
I am being triggered badly by this, so I will stop there.
Please stay strong and keep fighting the good fight.
Beth
:ghug3
Do you think he will tell the truth when he tells the girls about the TV?
How old are the children? Do they know he is an addict?
It doesn't matter what he says, he does not care anymore. Not at all.
Please show your daughters that you will not allow anyone to steal from you or them.
You take the proper channels, and it will start some paperwork on him that you might (just saying might) need for divorce court.
Do they know he stole the tv from his daughters?
I am being triggered badly by this, so I will stop there.
Please stay strong and keep fighting the good fight.
Beth
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
If I bought a brand new TV and came home and it was gone....
I would survey each family member. If nobody seems to know where it went....
I would call the police and file a report.
I don't know what the living arrangements are. But if he is living with you...I would use this latest little trick of his to get him out of the house via the divorce attorney and the court system.
I would be looking into filing a restraining order somehow...some way.
I would survey each family member. If nobody seems to know where it went....
I would call the police and file a report.
I don't know what the living arrangements are. But if he is living with you...I would use this latest little trick of his to get him out of the house via the divorce attorney and the court system.
I would be looking into filing a restraining order somehow...some way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Jacksonville Florida
Posts: 48
Ive called the police on several of this little things he's done in the past 2 years or so, and because our divorce isn't final, and separation is not recognized legally in florida, he's got right to the property as well as I do. The only thing I could do was sue him civially. We still share a residence ( at least for the next 7 days, I move on Saturday) even though he comes and goes..we had some words, and he returned the t.v yesterday. I was surprised. I was shocked that I am the one who didn't have to come out of pocket for it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
I got triggered by this too.
I remember my sister and I sharing a TV in our bedroom when we were growing up. If my dad stole it from us, it would have been devastating to us.
My heart goes out to both you and your daughters. My father was an alcoholic his entire life. He died in 2010 after decades of abusing his body with alcohol and cigarettes. My parents divorced when I was fifteen, but my siblings and I had to "deal" with my father for the next 30+ years.
He would lie to us all the time when we were younger. He never took responsibility for his actions and would often blame my mother for things. When they first divorced he wasn't paying child support and he ended up in court. I remember him telling us that our mother wants to put him in jail! My sister and I came home crying, begging my mother to stop.
Since coming to SoberRecovery, I have gained a new appreciation of how difficult it is to leave an addict. I applaud that you are trying to create a better life for you and your children. You and they deserve to live in a home that feels safe.
When I started my own recovery (from codependency) I focused on me and trying to become the healthiest mother I could for my children. If your husband continues down this road, the consequences will catch up with him eventually. I wouldn't worry about calling doctors.
Wishing you the best.
db
I remember my sister and I sharing a TV in our bedroom when we were growing up. If my dad stole it from us, it would have been devastating to us.
My heart goes out to both you and your daughters. My father was an alcoholic his entire life. He died in 2010 after decades of abusing his body with alcohol and cigarettes. My parents divorced when I was fifteen, but my siblings and I had to "deal" with my father for the next 30+ years.
He would lie to us all the time when we were younger. He never took responsibility for his actions and would often blame my mother for things. When they first divorced he wasn't paying child support and he ended up in court. I remember him telling us that our mother wants to put him in jail! My sister and I came home crying, begging my mother to stop.
Since coming to SoberRecovery, I have gained a new appreciation of how difficult it is to leave an addict. I applaud that you are trying to create a better life for you and your children. You and they deserve to live in a home that feels safe.
When I started my own recovery (from codependency) I focused on me and trying to become the healthiest mother I could for my children. If your husband continues down this road, the consequences will catch up with him eventually. I wouldn't worry about calling doctors.
Wishing you the best.
db
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