What a Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
What a Day
I found this forum just about 4 years ago. My daughter was addicted to heroin and couch surfing and all the other nasty stuff. I was thoroughly emeshed in my daughter's business and obsessed to the point of insanity with rescusing her from addiction.
Today, she is sober, a wonderful mother to a 15 month old daughter, employed part time and taking a few classes at a community college. She's engaged to marry the father of her child, in May. They live with their child in the area and pay their bills.
One of her classes is Ethics and she has a paper due tomorrow about Mill's theory of Utilitarianism. She has serious learning differences asked for editorial help.
Once done, we went out for lunch and then headed to the grocery store. We shopped side by side with our carts, clucking about prices and what not. She paid for her groceries and I paid for mine.
This may be the best day of my life. Tomorrow will take care of itself, come what may. And she did this all on her own and did so in spite of me.
Today, she is sober, a wonderful mother to a 15 month old daughter, employed part time and taking a few classes at a community college. She's engaged to marry the father of her child, in May. They live with their child in the area and pay their bills.
One of her classes is Ethics and she has a paper due tomorrow about Mill's theory of Utilitarianism. She has serious learning differences asked for editorial help.
Once done, we went out for lunch and then headed to the grocery store. We shopped side by side with our carts, clucking about prices and what not. She paid for her groceries and I paid for mine.
This may be the best day of my life. Tomorrow will take care of itself, come what may. And she did this all on her own and did so in spite of me.
XO
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((OTL))) - Not sure why my "thanks" aren't showing up, but your post just warms my heart
It's totally awesome to remember where you WERE and where you are today, not to mention your wonderful daughter.
Whether it's addiction recovery or codie-recovery, it totally rocks
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
It's totally awesome to remember where you WERE and where you are today, not to mention your wonderful daughter.Whether it's addiction recovery or codie-recovery, it totally rocks
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Not only do I wish to thank you for this wonderful post, showing recovery is definitely possible, but ..................................................
I must thank you for 'sticking' with SR showing all your warts, and showing step by step the recovery you have accomplished, and allowing me to watch and have my heart smile.
Not only that, but I mentally thank you every day for staying here and sharing your ES&H as it was and is for YOU.
Thank you (((((OTL))))).
Love and hugs,
I must thank you for 'sticking' with SR showing all your warts, and showing step by step the recovery you have accomplished, and allowing me to watch and have my heart smile.
Not only that, but I mentally thank you every day for staying here and sharing your ES&H as it was and is for YOU.
Thank you (((((OTL))))).
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Thank you everyone.
I nearly bankrupted myself financially, emotionally and physically trying to rescue and control my daughter's choices and her addiction. Through shared experiences and wisdom within the forum I came to understand I was substantially sicker than my addicted daughter.
It eventually came down to saving myself and taking back control of my own reactions. Giving up my own hopeful fanasty that I had any control or influence over my daughter's addiction was the most humbling experience of my life.
Establishing the firm boundary for myself- that I would not live with someone in active addiction or presumed recovery was a turning point for me.
My daughter eventually decided to save herself and pulled herself out of hell. Most importantly, she did this in spite of me. We have both learned it's easier to keep our hula hoops going when each of us remains in our own hoop.
I nearly bankrupted myself financially, emotionally and physically trying to rescue and control my daughter's choices and her addiction. Through shared experiences and wisdom within the forum I came to understand I was substantially sicker than my addicted daughter.
It eventually came down to saving myself and taking back control of my own reactions. Giving up my own hopeful fanasty that I had any control or influence over my daughter's addiction was the most humbling experience of my life.
Establishing the firm boundary for myself- that I would not live with someone in active addiction or presumed recovery was a turning point for me.
My daughter eventually decided to save herself and pulled herself out of hell. Most importantly, she did this in spite of me. We have both learned it's easier to keep our hula hoops going when each of us remains in our own hoop.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
OTL, thank you for this post. I so appreciate your sharing with all of us other recovering control freaks . I agree with the statement regarding them getting clean in spite of us!My son is recovering in SPITE of me and any actions I have done. He got placed in sober living last night and HE did it all by himself.
This Mommy is learning to get out of the way of recovery's power for him.
Thanks again as YOU helped me off the ledge when he was kicked out of the first rehab.
Hugs
Teresa
. I agree with the statement regarding them getting clean in spite of us!My son is recovering in SPITE of me and any actions I have done. He got placed in sober living last night and HE did it all by himself.This Mommy is learning to get out of the way of recovery's power for him.
Thanks again as YOU helped me off the ledge when he was kicked out of the first rehab.
Hugs
Teresa
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