choublak

Not from the boyfriend. From my dad.

"Please ask Mom to take me back. I need her more than anything. If she doesn't come back I have no reason for living."

akrasia

I don't know, Choublak. I think your dad needs a serious cut-off. That is some manipulative BS.

Is this a text? Block his number. I'm serious. He can reach you on a land-line if there's an emergency.

Is he somewhere nearby so that you can meet face-to-face? If so, say this in person. If not, write a letter:

"Dear Dad, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. I hope you can find support. It is not acceptable for you to discuss your and mom's relationship with me and put me in the middle. If you hint as suicide again I will phone the police and have them do a welfare check on you. If you try and bring these matters up with me again I will end the conversation. Love, Choublak."

suki44883

I agree with akrasia. If you haven't already told him this stuff is inappropriate and to cut it out, you should and if he does it again, block his number. If you want to end this kind of thing, you are going to have to be the one to do it.

choublak

He has already "threatened suicide" and the one time my mom did call the police, they took him to the hospital where he was put on a 24-hour suicide watch. He got mad at everyone, including me and my mom, and he was like, "I can't believe they put me on suicide watch!"

Well, that's what happens when you THREATEN SUICIDE...

choublak

I sent him that via text, and he replies:

"I'm sorry, I won't ask again, I'm just really desperate. Please don't you reject me too."

akrasia

No response necessary. Well done you.

choublak

Well, it shut him up...for now. Yay.

lillamy

Friend of mine's dad was like that. Threatened suicide so many times that once, his mom responded with "Do it in the garage so we can just hose down the floor afterwards" and continued making dinner.

Sounds callous and awful, but I can only imagine the emotional trauma for both the wife and the kids before she got to that point...

The dad lived to the ripe old age of 80+ and never quit drinking...

NYCDoglvr

The next time he mentions suicide ask if he wants you to call 911. Great advice, akrasia.

akrasia

I just SHRIEKED with laughter.

StarCat

During an internship the receptionist confided in me one day that she was finally divorced from an abusive, manipulative marriage. Her ex-husband kept trying to force her to become financially dependent upon him, even to the point of telling her to cash in her retirement for a massive vacation she didn't want to take, saying they could simply retire on his plan instead.

Towards the end when she began filing for divorce he also started threatening suicide unless she halted the proceedings. Finally she simply replied with, "Go ahead, I look good in black."

inpieces314

It's really a shame that some people use suicide as some kind of manipulative tactic when there are really people out there who need help with it.

Live

Suicide threats are very traumatic to me as I lost my son to suicide. Anytime anyone for whatever reason says anything like that to me now, I immediately dial 911 and yes, it can wind up with them locked up in the hospital for a mandatory amount of time if you swear to the police that they did threaten suicide to you. I will always do this and I will never regret it. Don't care how mad at me they get.

lillamy

I think that's always the best way to deal with it, Live.
Whether they are serious or not, it's not YOUR responsibility to deal with it -- that is better left to the professionals.

Like someone said to me once -- we tend to forget that in the last part of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, the wolf actually does come.