workingonlife

Hello everyone! I am new to the group and my husband is an alcoholic. I have had enough of the drinking and just wanted to see what other people thought about his actions. I have read some posts and starting to assume this behavior is normal for an alcoholic. First I must say AH is not the passing out in the grass, lost my car, or throwing up type of drunk. He does however drink at minimum 12 beers a day through the week and much more on weekends. Here are the things that bother me and I was wondering if this is typical Alcoholic behavior

1) He has to stop and by beer on the way home from work, even if you wanted a beer can't it wait till you get home??

2) I told him drinking is an issue with our marriage and all he has to say is that he knows he has a problem but is getting it under control one day at a time and that I need to compromise.

3) every time I leave to do something without him, I am pretty sure I never make it out of town before he is at a bar.

4) I work Saturday mornings and he is at home with 3 year old Son... the past two Saturdays I have come home at 12:30pm and he has had 6-7 beers already

5) Constantly borrows money from people and tells me it is to buy beer but also get things we need around the house ( we never need that much to borrow money for)

silkspin

Please DO NOT leave your child with him if you know he drinks while with them alone. Please. I have a 4 yr old. If I ever know that he's had one drop whilst caring for her it is out the door and I've made that crystal clear.

Regardless of anything else at this immediate moment, please make alternate arrangements. A child being cared for by someone under the influence is a child in danger. If he's done it already then he's already proven unreliable in this respect. Could you ever forgive yourself if something happened to your child because he was drunk?

workingonlife

After this happen twice I told him never again will I leave him alone with our son. And I would never forgive myself if something happen to him while alone with AH.

Thanks for the welcome and I am reading around the sticky posts and they are very helpful. I told AH at the start of week he needs to find a place to live and for some reason I feel guilty about this but I have to do what is right for me and most of all right for my son. I DO NOT want my son growing up thinking AH behavior is normal and acceptable.

Its nice to find a place that I can feel comfortable talking and reading about how most of the experiences people are having are similar to mine.


It is a sad day for me to realize that you truly love someone but an addiction has taken them over to the point they won’t even get help to keep their family together.

Thanks for the replies and Welcome!

nodaybut2day

Yes, yes and YES! I applaud you for this. This is the reason I left my XAH. I refused to have my DD growing up and thinking that a normal relationship involved the madness of addiction and abuse.

Similarly, after my XAH declared ever so dramatically that he wouldn'tpick DD up from daycare because when she cried, he just had to "leave her on the bed to wail" (she was 12 months old) because he "couldn't be held responsible for his actions then". This was said to me while slurring, beer in hand. It was the first and only time he took her on his own.

I encourage you to seek out Al-Anon or counselling, to get some IRL support. And keep reading/posting here. SR is a great place to be!