RedKitty

I have been so angry the past few weeks that I felt close to insanity. My binge-drinking fiancee has ruined every special event this year. His binges have gone from once a week to three times a week and I'm sure my rage has been pushing him to step it up even faster.

Sunday was the last straw. On Monday I realized I was completely out of control and I came to the internet for help... searching online for Alanon meetings... and then I found this forum. I have more than 12 years of Alanon experience from being married to two XAH's, but I'd given up working a program... didn't think I'd need it anymore... and having knowledge but not working it is as useless for an Alanon as it is for the alcoholic.

Since Monday morning I've read hundreds of posts and found my story written over and over again. Thank you thank you thank you. I know what to do now. I remembered to ask HP for guidance and I asked for the anger to be removed, and asked that it be replaced with compassion. It feels like the anger bubble has burst for the moment.

I know that I have to get to a meeting ASAP and find a sponsor and get going... and he may never be sober and we may be together or apart, but I will be okay. I am so grateful to you all for what you share here. Just want you all to know that I am lurking and learning. For this moment I know that I didn't cause this, can't control it and cannot cure it. There will be another binge around the corner (he's an alcoholic; that's what he's supposed to do!) and my job is to plant myself firmly in Alanon and live.

This is an amazing forum. I've looked at posts from almost ten years ago! Some of you have helped literally thousands of people like me, desperate in the middle of the night. God bless y'all.

CatsPajamas

Hi Red,

Glad you found us, though I'm sorry for the circumstances. It sounds like you found a nudge in a good direction - lots of reading, maybe finding an Al Anon group since you've found help there before.

I was once in a similar situation and found this site after doing a search at 2 a.m. I have learned so much, not only about myself but about how other people have learned to deal with loved ones who struggle with alcoholism or addiction. It was good for me to be reminded that I'm not alone, and that each of us goes on this journey at his or her own pace.

Again, welcome to SR. You're among friends here.

Cats
Forum Mod

BobbyJ

Hope you stay "tuned" in and find the strength you need

Pelican

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home by reading, ranting and posting as much as needed.

We are here to support you!

I needed to find healthy ways to express my anger. Healthy meaning: expressing my anger without harming others. I also learned it was important to teach my children the same tools.

Things that I tried:

Punching a pillow
Cursing and punching a pillow
but the best for me:
Getting in my car and turning up the stereo and screaming - cursing.
Hitting the sit beside me in the car.
Putting on tennis shoes and headphones and taking a power walk around the neighborhood.

I arrived at an Alanon meeting one night, hoarse voiced from screaming in the car on the way to the meeting. Guess what? I was the second person at the meeting that night hoarse from screaming in the car on the way to the meeting. We laughed till we cried when we shared how we arrived with hoarse voices!