springwill

Hello everyone, I am new to this site and trying to figure out how it works and how it might help me. I feel so desperate to stop drinking. I completely admit that I have a very serious problem with alcohol. I have tried to quit several (maybe hundreds) of times, but I always relapse. I am so scared that I will relapse again and again my whole life, but I know there must be a way I can quit. Please tell me any advice you might have to make it through this. I just hope that I can stop before something really horrible happens....not to say that horrible things have not already happened, but I am still alive, no DUIs, no major accidents. I am broke though, I have missed work, I am so depressed I can't function. To be honest, I am calling today Day 1. I can't even remember the fight I got in last night with my girlfriend, but of course she remembers every word. I just don't know where to start...what can I tell myself that will make tomorrow Day 2, then 3, 4, etc? By they way I am a lesbian, not sure if there is a connection but I have heard that gay people are supposedly more likely to drink. There is alcoholism in my family. I am not religious, but consider myself spiritual, that's one of the main reasons I have never gone to AA, and don't feel very inclined to go either. I have tried talk therapy, it helped, I quit for a couple of months, then relapsed again. I am a mess. Any advice for a newcomer?

Dee74

Hi and welcome springwill

The best advice I can give you is you never have to feel this way again or drink again if you are prepared to work towards that

You'll find a lot of ideas and support here and a whole lot of methods at play. Some of us just use this forum, others find they need some face to face support from recovery groups or counsellors etc

the important thing is there's a lot of help out there and you're not alone in this.
You're among friends here

D

Taking5

AA is spiritual not religious in their own words, so that should be a good fit for you. Its at least worth a try. They have GLBT AA meetings. As you're in Seattle, these should be easy to find.

There is a GLBT forum here as well, and tons of great support. Good luck.

2granddaughters

AA is spiritual, not religious. You may be missing the boat ....

Wishing you the best.

Bob

Zencat

Welcome to SR springwill

Knowing how to treat addiction would be a good start for anyone wanting to live alcohol free. Bellow are some recovery tools which are basically learning some skill to stop the cycle of addiction.

SMART Tools and SMART Articles
Agnostic AA 12 Steps
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Recovery Tools Recovery Resources from cbtrecovery.com
DBT Life Skills For Emotional Health
Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)

I understand. My spirituality is secular in nature, whereas IMO AA's program is spiritual of a religious nature. So I limit my participation in AA to open meetings and practice a secular addiction treatment on my own. You could try AA if you haven't, just to see for yourself if its something that you would considering doing. Anyhow, there many ways to recover from addiction. Hope to see you posting often as you recover.

OCDDan

Thanks for the Links Zen!

Luckyv2

In all reality, you just look deep Deep Deep inside of you, their you will find the strength for anything.

DarrenW

Welcome to the site. I have found that visiting this site has been very important to my sobriety. Its going to be hard-no doubt about it, but you can do it. Is there anyway you could go visit a doctor?

DarrenW

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springwill

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I just wrote a reply and then lost it, I am still learning to use the site. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement and support. I know for sure I need help and it does seem to help just knowing I am not alone. This feeling is awful and I really want to get better this time for good. It seems so insane how many times I have said this to myself, yet here I am again. It's so frustrating! Maybe I will try an AA meeting, I know it has helped a lot of people and could offer me something so maybe I should just check it out at least once. Thanks for the links Zencat, and for understanding as well. I don't intend to offend anyone who is pro-AA and I definitely don't think I am better than anyone. I just don't relate at all to the higher power lingo in the literature and it makes me feel alienated. Maybe I am misunderstanding, but it seems like the approach is based on the notion of believing in a higher power as a necessary part of successful recovery. I struggle with that because what if I simply don't and never will believe (at least not in the same way as many others), would that mean I am doomed to never get better? That just seems like it cannot be true. I think I will check out some other options first. Thanks for listening and for the replies. I am looking forward to feeling better someday. I am glad I found this site.

keepfinding2

Do what works for you. Best advice I've ever gotten.

Tres

Welcome spring will, I have used only this site and a therapist to
Help me stay on track. In the beginning it was terribly hard. I read everything on here that I could. I posted a lot too.

I still may try an AA meeting someday, just not sure yet. Learning about my addictive voice helped too. Its all on this website, so just keep reading.

I have over 100 sober days. After drinking 35 Years it feels amazing.

Good luck.

jocata

Welcom springwill! Hang around here and keep reading and posting. You are definately not alone in your struggles. We are here to help.

God bless.

Zencat

AA is a faith based program as there is nothing wrong with that. But for some like myself and others, especially other atheist like myself don't do the faith in higher powers or God(s) thang. Some of the people I'm acquainted with on facebook, have groups for atheist/agnostic in AA. They have found a good way to make AA work for them by either forming agnostic AA meetings, seeking out agnostic AA meetings or work a secular version of the 12 steps.

So there is a way to be what I call AA-ish and fit in well enough as an atheist/agnostic/secular person can in AA. That is if ever you want to go this route, it can be done. Whatever you choose for your recovery path, as there many successful ways to recover for good.

sugarbear1

Try finding a sponsor at AA and work the program of recovery--the steps. The steps, as posted on the wall, are what we did as a result of working the 12 steps, not what we do.

I wish you well on your sober journey!!