josecarla

Hi, this is my first time doing this but i really need the support. I have 3 kids and have been married to my husband for 11 years. I just found out 6 months ago that my husband was using cocain. Also he likes to drink a lot. I was sad, upset and dissapointed. I never though this would happen to me. He told me to please not leave him and help him get over it. I did stay but it seems that know that i know what he does he is really verbaly abussive. He blames me for what he is doing. I try to tell him to stop doing it so much and cut down but that makes it worse. Then a month ago his parents seperated and he just got more addicted to it he does it every day and i just cant handle it anymore. He doesnt eat and really doesnt sleep a lot. I dont know if im doing wrong by staying because he lets me know every day if it wasent for me he wouldnt be doing what he is doing. i need help i feel im stressed out and about to go crazy. Is this a normal for a addict to act the way he does and is there anything i can do to help myself and kids? He was a great father and i miss those days!

ReadyAndAble

Hi, welcome to SR. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. For whatever it's worth, I blamed the whole world for my drinking, but the truth is, nothing and nobody made me drink. I was an addict, and that's what addicts do. So please don't believe that you are somehow driving him to use. And yes, his behavior is very normal for an addict.

I'm glad you found us. You'll find a lot of other family members who have faced similar situations at: Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I really hope he decides to get help. Ultimately it really is his decision. Hang in there.

sugarbear1

Can you call Al Anon or Nar Anon for some support? I suggest call as you have children and there may be a meeting that would allow children or have child care. You could also have someone to talk with who understands what you are going through.

Many addicts won't hit bottom if things don't change. Get support, know that blaming is something we do to justify our using, and focus on you and the children.

Peace, prayers, & hugs,

Anna

Please check out our Friends & Families forums and NarAnon would also be a good place for you to find support for yourself.

josecarla

Thank you guys for all your support! Some weight has been lifted off my back

katrinka

It's important to take care of yourself, but in this case I would put those kids first and if that means the husband needs to take a time out so be it.

katrinka

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so abrupt. I work where I am in contact with kids who have alcohol and drug addicted parents and it can cause them damaging anxiety and many other serious problems. Obviously I'm not above addiction or I wouldn't be on these forums. Children need to be protected!