Is it just me?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Here and now
Posts: 93
Is it just me?
Is it just me, or does this time of year bring out more "id" in people?
My single friends are all going crazy because they don't have that special someone to trim a tree with.
My married friends are either frazzled from all the extra stuff they have to deal with, or smug and content that they have that someone to go to a multitude of parties with...or, (and this goes for both married and single folks!) wondering if they can do better, or blow off the steam and have an intriguing "encounter."
I even heard a radio talk show host saying how much "easier" women were this time of year because they are desperate and looking to have someone. He was assurring his male audience that now was the time to "score."
There are plastic decorations all over the place, people out shopping by the score, car accidents, domestic violence, people calling into radio hosts boasting of "scoring" and not calling their score back. Oye Vey!!!
As for myself, I have hurt a dear friend deeply by explaining to her that Christmas isn't really Christ's true birthday. I assumed this was something everyone knew, but I guess she didn't. She was devastated. Yes - I am also the kid that told the other innocents that there wasn't a real Santa.
Meanwhile, my son and I procrastinate on putting up the fake tree, ponder our own lack of partners, and post our thoughts on our independent (and favorite) forums.
I have not done a lot of shopping and the bulk of my Chrsitmas involves more cold hard cash that I don't really want to spend. Of course, all sorts of emergencies have cropped up. Blown engines in cars, evictions that might leave the grandbaby out on the streets, etc.
I vow, yet again, that I will not do this next year!
Meanwhile, I've started dating, kissed someone recently (love those first kisses!) and haven't heard from him since. Have I forgotten what I am doing?? Am I too old and wrinkled, are my breasts to small, my thighs too big, ad nauseum!!!!
Guess I, too, am in a mood!!!!
Anyway, thanks for listening!!!!
Merry Christmas, and I hope I didn't spoil the Jesus' birthday thing for any of you out there!!!!!
My single friends are all going crazy because they don't have that special someone to trim a tree with.
My married friends are either frazzled from all the extra stuff they have to deal with, or smug and content that they have that someone to go to a multitude of parties with...or, (and this goes for both married and single folks!) wondering if they can do better, or blow off the steam and have an intriguing "encounter."
I even heard a radio talk show host saying how much "easier" women were this time of year because they are desperate and looking to have someone. He was assurring his male audience that now was the time to "score."
There are plastic decorations all over the place, people out shopping by the score, car accidents, domestic violence, people calling into radio hosts boasting of "scoring" and not calling their score back. Oye Vey!!!
As for myself, I have hurt a dear friend deeply by explaining to her that Christmas isn't really Christ's true birthday. I assumed this was something everyone knew, but I guess she didn't. She was devastated. Yes - I am also the kid that told the other innocents that there wasn't a real Santa.
Meanwhile, my son and I procrastinate on putting up the fake tree, ponder our own lack of partners, and post our thoughts on our independent (and favorite) forums.
I have not done a lot of shopping and the bulk of my Chrsitmas involves more cold hard cash that I don't really want to spend. Of course, all sorts of emergencies have cropped up. Blown engines in cars, evictions that might leave the grandbaby out on the streets, etc.
I vow, yet again, that I will not do this next year!
Meanwhile, I've started dating, kissed someone recently (love those first kisses!) and haven't heard from him since. Have I forgotten what I am doing?? Am I too old and wrinkled, are my breasts to small, my thighs too big, ad nauseum!!!!
Guess I, too, am in a mood!!!!
Anyway, thanks for listening!!!!
Merry Christmas, and I hope I didn't spoil the Jesus' birthday thing for any of you out there!!!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think that what you posted is a good reminder that the key to our happiness is not held by anyone else, but by us. When we remember that, we stay on track.
The holidays are as good or bad as we make them. When we focus on the "spirit" of the season and share love and joy with others, then the commercial crassness just cannot overwhelm us.
Hope you and your son have a wonderful Christmas.
Oh, and P.S., does it really matter if this is the exact day? It is the day we choose to celebrate and that's good enough for me.
Hugs
Ann
The holidays are as good or bad as we make them. When we focus on the "spirit" of the season and share love and joy with others, then the commercial crassness just cannot overwhelm us.
Hope you and your son have a wonderful Christmas.
Oh, and P.S., does it really matter if this is the exact day? It is the day we choose to celebrate and that's good enough for me.
Hugs
Ann
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 91
Not at all......I love Christmas. I buy silly gifts for my friends.....not much money at all. I spend the day with my program friends. I see the movies for the holidays........spend time with friends.
Oh, goodness.......life changes. It used to be about polishing silver for relatives! I liked both ways.......just different.
Oh, goodness.......life changes. It used to be about polishing silver for relatives! I liked both ways.......just different.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Here and now
Posts: 93
Thanks
Thanks for the replies. To answer your question - it doesn't matter to me at all when the exact day is, but I guess it matters to my friend. I feel bad that I upset her, as that was not my intent. I guess I feel badly that I did not spread love and joy, but rather hurt a good friend.
I see that my email sounded glum, and that wasn't really where I was coming from. It was more of an observation of how hard the holidays can be, and of some of the messages that are promoted that no one seems to think twice about.
I am taking a good look at the seasons, and trying to figure out what I can/will do differently to make it something good for me and others.
What I would really like to do is not celebrate, and instead, focus on "un-Christmas" all year long. I can't tell you how often when I am out shopiing through out the year that I see something that makes me think of a freind/family memeber, and never buy it for them. what I would like to do is act on those moments, send the gift immediately, and have that be the way I honor the spirit of giving.
I see that my email sounded glum, and that wasn't really where I was coming from. It was more of an observation of how hard the holidays can be, and of some of the messages that are promoted that no one seems to think twice about.
I am taking a good look at the seasons, and trying to figure out what I can/will do differently to make it something good for me and others.
What I would really like to do is not celebrate, and instead, focus on "un-Christmas" all year long. I can't tell you how often when I am out shopiing through out the year that I see something that makes me think of a freind/family memeber, and never buy it for them. what I would like to do is act on those moments, send the gift immediately, and have that be the way I honor the spirit of giving.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 91
Cool idea.....do it. I bet you'll enuoy the heck out of it, and so will your friends/family.
Nobody really gives a dang about this 25th of Dec. deal, except maybe families will little kids who belive in Santa.
Do your deal.......and have a good time. That's the real spirit!
Nobody really gives a dang about this 25th of Dec. deal, except maybe families will little kids who belive in Santa.
Do your deal.......and have a good time. That's the real spirit!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Whooaaa Nellie Marce!!!!
I DO give a dang about this Dec. 25 "deal". You see, I am a Christian and I choose to give a dang about the birth of Jesus. I give a dang about finding some joy in the season, regardless of how disfuntional my life may be, and I give a dang about keeping the "spirit" of the season about joy and love and peace, with the best gifts being exactly that...joy, love and peace.
I find that Christmas is about as joyous as I choose to make it.
I'm not saying everyone has to celebrate the traditional way, but if this is a bad time of year for you, then find a way to be happy doing what you love to do. Alone? Then help at a soup kitchen, visit a senior neighbour and take a few cookies and some fancy tea, go to a meeting (there are lots of meetings Christmas Day), take a walk in the snow, adopt a new cat from a shelter, just anything that helps you not just make it through the day, but actually find joy and love in the day.
Okay, I'll get off the soapbox now, but I just had to get that off me chest. :soapbox
Hugs
Ann
I DO give a dang about this Dec. 25 "deal". You see, I am a Christian and I choose to give a dang about the birth of Jesus. I give a dang about finding some joy in the season, regardless of how disfuntional my life may be, and I give a dang about keeping the "spirit" of the season about joy and love and peace, with the best gifts being exactly that...joy, love and peace.
I find that Christmas is about as joyous as I choose to make it.
I'm not saying everyone has to celebrate the traditional way, but if this is a bad time of year for you, then find a way to be happy doing what you love to do. Alone? Then help at a soup kitchen, visit a senior neighbour and take a few cookies and some fancy tea, go to a meeting (there are lots of meetings Christmas Day), take a walk in the snow, adopt a new cat from a shelter, just anything that helps you not just make it through the day, but actually find joy and love in the day.
Okay, I'll get off the soapbox now, but I just had to get that off me chest. :soapbox
Hugs
Ann
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Nobody really gives a dang about this 25th of Dec. deal, except maybe families will little kids who belive in Santa.
..it's truly sad you feel that way, so many have so many blessings, and so many are still waiting for theirs, it's a time for celebrating, forgiving, remembering, loving, grieving, and hope.
... this wench will alway's believe in Santa!
..it's truly sad you feel that way, so many have so many blessings, and so many are still waiting for theirs, it's a time for celebrating, forgiving, remembering, loving, grieving, and hope.
... this wench will alway's believe in Santa!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wish I knew
Posts: 428
Alongtimegone-
I might be wrong, but from what I remember learning, the early church kinda moved things around to coincide (and compete with) major pagan(or maybe Jewish) holidays. I don't think it is likely that Jesus was born on Dec 25, but the pagans maybe had a big winter celebration that the church wanted to deflect attention from.
I'm not 100% sure it is correct, that's just what I remember.
I also remember watching Jerry Springer (a long time ago before he decended fully into a slime pit) when he had a show on racism. There was the beautiful red headed girl who got so offended when someone said Jesus was a Jew.. She was so upset she ran off the stage. I mean, seriously, Christianity didn't exist until AFTER the crucifixion!!!
I'm not 100% sure it is correct, that's just what I remember.
I also remember watching Jerry Springer (a long time ago before he decended fully into a slime pit) when he had a show on racism. There was the beautiful red headed girl who got so offended when someone said Jesus was a Jew.. She was so upset she ran off the stage. I mean, seriously, Christianity didn't exist until AFTER the crucifixion!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 91
Take the label off.....the 25th of December is Thursday....
That's all
Not sad at all, Chy. It's Al-Anon tools that have given me the gift of enjoying my holidays.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday, too....
And if it's not great...just take the label off.
That's all
Not sad at all, Chy. It's Al-Anon tools that have given me the gift of enjoying my holidays.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday, too....
And if it's not great...just take the label off.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Originally posted by Ann
Whooaaa Nellie Marce!!!!
I DO give a dang about this Dec. 25 "deal". You see, I am a Christian and I choose to give a dang about the birth of Jesus. I give a dang about finding some joy in the season, regardless of how disfuntional my life may be, and I give a dang about keeping the "spirit" of the season about joy and love and peace, with the best gifts being exactly that...joy, love and peace.
I find that Christmas is about as joyous as I choose to make it.
Whooaaa Nellie Marce!!!!
I DO give a dang about this Dec. 25 "deal". You see, I am a Christian and I choose to give a dang about the birth of Jesus. I give a dang about finding some joy in the season, regardless of how disfuntional my life may be, and I give a dang about keeping the "spirit" of the season about joy and love and peace, with the best gifts being exactly that...joy, love and peace.
I find that Christmas is about as joyous as I choose to make it.
Hugs and warm CHRISTmas wishes to you.
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 727
Merry Christmas,!!!!!!!!,whatever another feels or thinks about Christmas,,one thing,i ,need, to remember,that one need not try to spoil,it for those who believe,and are joyful,this time of year.why judge it?People do the best they know how to.If ever the day comes that im perfect,,ill let ya know,,heheeee.I see things not as they are.But where i am coming from.If im a fault finder,i will find this in others.If im looking for the love inside of others,,i find that too.My thoughts and feelings are valid.However,,if they are hurtful to me,,i may want to change my thoughts,and the feelings will follow.Look for da love.Life on lifes terms,..When,Self,centredness,leaves,im then more in a position to be of" service "to others.And i feel better too.
Thanks for letting me share,,
God Bless,,take care!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me share,,
God Bless,,take care!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 91
Al-Anon is a spiritual program, of no particular faith. We are careful not to debate religious matters, since this might discourage some from finding the love and peace of the program.
Joy and peace......thankfully....is available year-round and fits all.
I hope you all enjoy the holidays in your own way and know that Al-Anon's fellowship is world-wide, made up of people from many walks of life and many religious faiths...and of none. All are welcome!
Joy and peace......thankfully....is available year-round and fits all.
I hope you all enjoy the holidays in your own way and know that Al-Anon's fellowship is world-wide, made up of people from many walks of life and many religious faiths...and of none. All are welcome!
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
That's right Marce, all are welcome here. But this forum is not an official al-anon site, so if those who believe in Christ and celebrate his birth wish to do so here, we should respect their faith, even if we do not agree with it.
As for me, I am a Christian. That's my choice. But I am not debating what my faith is, I am debating the fact that you seem to think we can't discuss or celebrate it on these boards. We can and we do. Members of all faith are welcome to do so, whenever they want, and out of respect for others, please do not insult their belief. And in case you were wondering, proclaiming December 25th is just a Thursday is an insult.
Have a good day and Merry Christmas to those who believe.
As for me, I am a Christian. That's my choice. But I am not debating what my faith is, I am debating the fact that you seem to think we can't discuss or celebrate it on these boards. We can and we do. Members of all faith are welcome to do so, whenever they want, and out of respect for others, please do not insult their belief. And in case you were wondering, proclaiming December 25th is just a Thursday is an insult.
Have a good day and Merry Christmas to those who believe.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Originally posted by 12stepmarce
Nobody really gives a dang about this 25th of Dec. deal, except maybe families will little kids who belive in Santa.
Nobody really gives a dang about this 25th of Dec. deal, except maybe families will little kids who belive in Santa.
Originally posted by 12stepmarce
Al-Anon is a spiritual program, of no particular faith. We are careful not to debate religious matters, since this might discourage some from finding the love and peace of the program.
Al-Anon is a spiritual program, of no particular faith. We are careful not to debate religious matters, since this might discourage some from finding the love and peace of the program.
phoenix
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Marce
A message from my Toby....
To my friends celebrating Christmas....Merry Christmas
To my friends celebrating Hannukah....Happy Hannukah
To my friends celebrating Thurdsay....Happy Thursday.
I think that just about says it all.
Hugs from me and Toby
Ann
A message from my Toby....
To my friends celebrating Christmas....Merry Christmas
To my friends celebrating Hannukah....Happy Hannukah
To my friends celebrating Thurdsay....Happy Thursday.
I think that just about says it all.
Hugs from me and Toby
Ann
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Ditto!
I agree with Ann and Toby.
May you all be blessed with the spirit of the season,
which is PEACE,
The gladness of the season,
which is HOPE,
And the heart of the season,
which is LOVE.
Love and prayers,
Aunt Daffy
I agree with Ann and Toby.
May you all be blessed with the spirit of the season,
which is PEACE,
The gladness of the season,
which is HOPE,
And the heart of the season,
which is LOVE.
Love and prayers,
Aunt Daffy
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 261
Dear alongtimegone
I think your post points out some good points to reflect on.
I think people do go kind of crazy this time of year. I think it has to do with expectations. I think that your use of the term id is apt, too. I am a Christian, but I don't have a problem accepting reality, not the reality that the 25th isn't really Christ's birthday or any other reality. You see, I am free to celebrate on a day that I choose, whether it is the real birthday or not, just as everyone is this wonderful nation is allowed to celebrate or not celebrate any religion or religious holiday anyway they choose. Isn't that grand?
For me, the true meaning of Christmas is that God sent His son to the world to show His love for man, and to come in the form of a man to live among us in order to empathisize with us and love us better. I think that since He showed His love for me, I then can better show it to my fellow man. I think that is what it is all about for me.
I respect that many others will not think the same way that I do.
I do have some of the feelings you describe. I have trouble being alone this time of year. It is sad that some would take advantage of others' loneliness. I am sorry to hear that. I really hadn't heard about that. But I hope my focus will not be distracted by the fact that others choose to focus on the id, because it doesn't have to be. I can instead choose what I will focus on. I can choose to focus on good will and love towards men. I may feel my feelings that deal with the id. I may feel my own needs, and maybe that they are not being met. Some are, and some aren't. I count my blessings, while I allow myself to feel whatever feelings are real. Yet I choose to feel those feelings and still grow into an awareness and feeling for the needs and feelings of others. I choose to be aware of and respect how others feel, while allowing myself to be myself and to feel what I feel. I respect and love my fellow man, the diversity of feelings, motives and beliefs and lifestyles. Everyone has a choice. I value that and the freedom of choice. I really wouldn't want everyone to do everything my way. I really wouldn't want everyone to please me -- then they would not be free. I really respect everyone's right to be free, and in so doing, find my own freedom and life. Life is the true gift, and we all share it. We have all been given this gift of life, whether we all agree where it comes from or not!
Live and let live and love,
Nancy
I think people do go kind of crazy this time of year. I think it has to do with expectations. I think that your use of the term id is apt, too. I am a Christian, but I don't have a problem accepting reality, not the reality that the 25th isn't really Christ's birthday or any other reality. You see, I am free to celebrate on a day that I choose, whether it is the real birthday or not, just as everyone is this wonderful nation is allowed to celebrate or not celebrate any religion or religious holiday anyway they choose. Isn't that grand?
For me, the true meaning of Christmas is that God sent His son to the world to show His love for man, and to come in the form of a man to live among us in order to empathisize with us and love us better. I think that since He showed His love for me, I then can better show it to my fellow man. I think that is what it is all about for me.
I respect that many others will not think the same way that I do.
I do have some of the feelings you describe. I have trouble being alone this time of year. It is sad that some would take advantage of others' loneliness. I am sorry to hear that. I really hadn't heard about that. But I hope my focus will not be distracted by the fact that others choose to focus on the id, because it doesn't have to be. I can instead choose what I will focus on. I can choose to focus on good will and love towards men. I may feel my feelings that deal with the id. I may feel my own needs, and maybe that they are not being met. Some are, and some aren't. I count my blessings, while I allow myself to feel whatever feelings are real. Yet I choose to feel those feelings and still grow into an awareness and feeling for the needs and feelings of others. I choose to be aware of and respect how others feel, while allowing myself to be myself and to feel what I feel. I respect and love my fellow man, the diversity of feelings, motives and beliefs and lifestyles. Everyone has a choice. I value that and the freedom of choice. I really wouldn't want everyone to do everything my way. I really wouldn't want everyone to please me -- then they would not be free. I really respect everyone's right to be free, and in so doing, find my own freedom and life. Life is the true gift, and we all share it. We have all been given this gift of life, whether we all agree where it comes from or not!
Live and let live and love,
Nancy
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