Fdm

I'm ashamed this morning. I got away from the forums and back to my nemesis the last couple of weeks, beer.

The last 2 nights, I have drank 3-4 strong (over 7%) ABV beers, and both nights, my wife told me that I have had too much to drink. Even my 13 year old son said it last night, and they were both right.

I don't know what happened. I was doing so well, sleeping better, more alert and productive, and I would rather have a 3-4 hour "high" than have a good, happy life. I must be stupid.

Today, I'm ashamed. I cannot have "just 1 or 2". I have an addictive personality when it comes to cars, guns, and, especially beer.

I need you all to "kick me in the butt" today. I need to stop drinking today.

TheRealEagle

I'm sure you'll kick your own butt when your 13 year old son does it because his dad does. Maybe you'll kick your own butt when he does it and loses a fight, maybe you'll kick your own butt when he does it and jumps in his car.

Or maybe you will see what is coming and be the brilliant role model you know you can be.

sugarbear1

even when we stop drinking, our "disease" progresses. sometimes when we return to drinking, our brain wants a certain amount, but because we stopped, our bodies can't handle that same amount. lethal combination at times....

You Can Stay Stopped!!!! I'm cheering you on!!

Missy7

I completely relate to choosing that 3-4 hour "high" over the rest of your life. I do that every time. And that's why neither one of us can pick up even a single drink.

One drink in and reality changes. Then the sun comes up...

GirlFromCO

Sorry to hear that, Fdm. What went wrong?

quitforme79

You're not stupid...you're like me...a human being with a problem that makes mistakes. At least you are acknowledging your addictive personality. The next question for me always is "what do I do now to make the changes and keep them?" It's tough i know..I hope you are feeling better and able to not drink "just for today" I find that saying helps me immensely

falling

I have the same issue. I stayed Sober this weekend. I tucked my daughter into bed each night and read to her... Havn't done that in a LONG time and she loved it. We cleaned her room together, i cooked trout on the grill (stuffed AND deboned) I did laundry and dishes and cleaned... and i didn't drink. I didn't have any of my normal triggers which helped. Also helps that the packy's are closed on Sundays here. Although I think today may be a different story. I already know the triggers are coming. Once one is down... its not enough. If I can do this so can you. We fall, we make mistakes, but we pick ourselves up and try again until we get it right. One hour, then a day, then two...

BillyPilgrim

Very very wise words missy.

Anna

FDM, it's good that you are back and that you recognize that you made a bad decision when you had a drink. You can learn and you can move on in your recovery.

jocata

Get back in the saddle.

Did you learn anything from this?

Do you have a recovery program to work?

God bless.

sissy07

Been there, done that. Just learn from it and move on. Don't not realize the seriousness of it, but almost all of us have drank after committing to sobirety at one time or another. (Me? About 100 times.) Just remember that there are a lot of bad things can happen almost instanteously if you keep it up. Just consider this a mistake and move on. You deserve a happy, sober life with your family, and they certainly deserve it. It is just not worth it. I realize that you have heard this all before, but try to remember how bad you feel right now next time you want to drink. Play the tape to the end. Man, I hate that feeling of shame once the buzz is over. You can do it, you are a strong person, as evidenced by your previous posts, and you have a concience. Is there anything that you can do different to increase the odds that you don't make the same mistake? You have a great family - give yourself and your family the happiness and piece of mind that you deserve. You not being a good role model to a 13 year old - I know you realize that. You seem like a good person that is trying - you jsut need to get to the point that you see it is not worth it. You have a lot to lose with a family like that. Take the bull by the horns, and use what you have learned from this backslide. I wish the very, very best for you. Please keep us updated. Take care, and don't beat yourself up too much about this, but don't forget. You probably know that the more you stay sober the easiier it becomes....a few roadblocks and temptations still arise, but not as strongly. My best wishes.

JohnnyDetox

If it's a butt kicking you want..."GET OFF YOUR F****N ASS, DUMP ANY BOOZE LEFT IN THE HOUSE AND LOOK UP AA IN THE PHONE BOOK AND CALL THEM, THEN GO TO A MEETING"

AA works for me and many on this site. Unfortunally slips and relaspsed do happen and the only thing you can do is pick yourself up and keep going. Don't let shame get the better of you. Sometimes easier said than done as it's something I'm trying to deal with right now.

All the best.

instant

Over time we can learn there is a bigger cycle, that leads to relapse. It starts with feeling good, getting on top of things and enjoying life........then

Dee74

Welcome back FDM.
It's not our job to kick your butt - but there's a ton of support and advice here

What's your plan now?

D

Fdm

I poured all of the beer out a few minutes ago. Day 1...

Dee74

good for you fdm

D

Sapling

Good start...I'm all for dusting your self off....But I think trying something different this time works too....

Fdm

Yeah, I need to look around for ideas.

Sapling

I've seen a few floating around here...You might want to look into them. What you are doing isn't working...Find something that does.