MustardHandSoap

So I went 12 days. Got bored. Drank last night. Wasn't that fun. Not remembering **** kinda sucks. No plans on drinking in the immediate future. Pretty sure completely abstaining is driving me more insane than drinking.

least

what are you doing for your recovery besides just not drinking? I had to alter my attitude and my whole life, and tho it was hard and sometimes painful, i now am living a happy sober life. Bored? I don't have time to be bored. there's so much to do with my sober days. and even when i've nothing to 'do' i'm still happy to be doing it sober - no brain fog, no wretched sickness, no regret, no hating myself, no slacking off on my duties.

my life isn't boring, it's predictable now, and i'm so glad for that.

MustardHandSoap

Not much. It's too cold to go outside. No car. Too anxious all the time for social situations. I don't see my persona ever being altered nor do I ever want that to happen. I just can't foresee anything predictable ever being enjoyable. I've had brainfog ever since I was 15. Before any drugs. That's when I found out that's just how my brain works. I have ADD. So I smoked weed. Problem solved. Best couple years of my life. Then I smoked that synthetic ****. Now I can't do anything about ADD and have headaches all the time. That's why I drink. Because it relieves the anxiety that drug permanently instilled.

I can't imagine why someone would start drinking for fun if they could smoke cannabis alternatively. It blows my mind every day.

Sapling

At least you are leaving room for doubt....Look at that as hope.