TakingCharge999

I am so upset, feeling let down and like an idiot for trusting someone who already showed signs of not being worth of trust

This feels so familiar!! I am disguted. And so upset & sad am in tears. I realize the pattern with my mom, she has been a doormat and STILL trusts some people who treat her very badly. And here I am doing the SAME thing. What a %$%% waste of time & energy & precious LIFE.

Thanks for letting me vent.


(PS to LTD/Impurrfect/Willy & the picture bunch.. I got great pics to share! but will have to wait a bit.. other than this my trip is going well thanks! off to Hanoi/Siem reap tomorrow for the week... will definitely need a journal to write my feelings and not let it ruin my mood for the tripl)

Willybluedog

TC, I am so sorry, I have been worried about you. Please don't beat yourself up, we all make mistakes, we want to trust, we want to give someone a second chance.

You are smart, and funny, and beautiful, and a long long way from being an idiot, all you did was be human!

Please let me know how the knee is doing when you feel better.

Big squish the stuffing out of you bear hugs,

Bill

Lotus2009

TC,

sorry you're upset.

I'm like you, always seeing the good in people and putting my trust in them. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but don't be so hard on yourself. It is what it is and now you know not to trust this person anymore. So keep moving forward and remember what has happened so you can prevent this from happening in the future. Don't look at it as a waste of life, just another opportunity for growths.

TakingCharge999

Yes at least now I am ANGRY as well, as opposed to just SAD, which was my main response before then keeping on with the same old same old

UGHHHHHHHH just remembering the last 4 years in the city I moved to: first XABF, then loser XBF, then "friends" who turned out to be talking behind my back (and lies as well, not even truths!!), super stressful job (and recent unfair meetings where my work is not at all appreciated..) then wacko therapist.....

As the Herbal remedy lady told me, she sensed I felt like walking on quicksand and not being able to relax and trust just watching out for the next shoe to drop... I honestly feel I have no true friends there nor real support from family (they are away so that complicates things)

But even right now with my sister, she is not very into feelings so its not like I can go and cry on her shoulder so grateful for you SR friends, the only ones who "get it" and I can rely on.

Well what happened is that I trusted the care of my cats to someone and today I got complaints from my roomies about the odor and they say they look very sad and the person who was going to be with them, play etc has not even showed up for some days (when he had sent me an email recently saying "everything was fine"!!)

So I feel ashamed with my roomies (they are nice and love cats and offered to help) and feel bad for the unattended cats and super bad about myself for having to let go of yet another "friendship".. then I think with friends like these who needs enemies? things like this can create issues that affect me and the roomies can as well kick me out. Its VERY difficult to rent a place there without some guarantee (long story but I don´t have the requisites). I don´t like lies and I don´t like to feel like I got no one to trust 100% in real life-




Ok well ..I feel slightly better allowing myself to feel my feelings

Willy thanks for asking: I got an MRI and went to this Dr House-esque hospital.. the 4th doc I saw... they ran blood tests and it turned out I got Vitamin D deficiency which has made pain much worse. Been 2 weeks since my treatment started and seriously, I feel different, pain is not as bad and things that used to hurt do not hurt that much anymore.. I am also hitting the gym more often and keep strengthening the quads... which I have to keep doing for some more time

But nothing major going on inside the knee and no surgery needed.. huge relief... (another person to add to the trust issues black list, the damn doc who said surgery was the only option and scared me!!) I guess what I needed was someone to give me HOPE my mobility was not going to be compromised forever... and to see me as a system ..and human being.. that was a also a small drama, my sister said the MRI was "too expensive" (my money not hers) and she was kind of funny-acting about my issues... something I didn´t get at the time... but I am glad I stuck to my guns and ignored her opinions... I thought "she has not been there the last 6 months to see how it has been like for ME, so I will forgive her" and it worked.

Sheeesh... quicksand...
So grateful for your kind words, thank you so much , they meant a lot tonight.

Impurrfect

(((TC))) - I would be angry if someone wasn't taking care of my cats..livid is more the feeling I think I'd have.

I can't wait to see the pics (but I will ) and glad you don't need surgery on your knee.

I slipped back into codieland, yesterday, and it's as if I had not learned a darned thing these past almost 5 years.

I cam here, I reached out, and got some sleep. The "issue" is still here, but today I feel re-grounded and I pray you will realize we ARE human and it's pretty hard to undo habits or traits that we've had most of our lives.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

LifeRecovery

TC-

Off topic for the post too, but I found that Vit D (I was really, really low) helped with my depression also. Not saying it always will but especially after they foudn the deficency it really made a difference for me.

Willybluedog

TC,

I am so glad you are feeling at least a little better, that is crap about your cats, like you would not find out, what a jerk, it is so hard to find trustworthy friends, that is part of the reason I just don't travel, I know that no one is going to take care of all my babies like I would.

I am so glad about the knee, I have been cut on so many times, I will do just about anything to avoid it, I have a torn ACL & MCL on the left knee, they put me in a really good cage brace and it has really allowed the pain to subside, of course it does not solve the problem.

I really appreciate the information about vitamin D and pain, they diagnosed me as vitamin D deficient, but nobody ever said anything about it being related to pain.

What can I do for you, do you need anything, if you need some laughs go check out my facebook page, I have posted some hysterical stuff on there from several new pages I have found. William J Stephens Auxvasse, MO

I am just glad you are back on the board, I missed you and I was worried about you!

Big hugs, talk to you soon, if you need to talk just let me know, I will be here.

Bill

Seren

TC

Wow!! You recognized the situation for what it was and have taken steps to take care of you!