90 in 90?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
90 in 90?
I started going to meetings last Friday & went to my 5th tonight. People in the meetings and my new temp sponsor keep suggesting/talking about starting your sobriety with going to 90 meetings in your first 90 days.
I just wonder how common that is...I mean I went to 5 meetings over last 8 days, so I guess its theoretically possible for me. But, honestly, Im lazy (haha) and I was sortve okay with just going to same 4-5 meetings each week. Maybe I just need time to wrap my head around daily meetings & sometimes 2 in 1 day. I dunno...
I just wonder how common that is...I mean I went to 5 meetings over last 8 days, so I guess its theoretically possible for me. But, honestly, Im lazy (haha) and I was sortve okay with just going to same 4-5 meetings each week. Maybe I just need time to wrap my head around daily meetings & sometimes 2 in 1 day. I dunno...
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
This originally came from a rehab center.
Theoretically, it takes 90 days of practicing a new 'habit' to break an old one. Also gets you into the habit of 'hitting' a meeting, when things are going bad or good.
Did you drink every day? I sure did, so it made perfect sense to me.
Also, sponsors will use that one, and/or have a new sponsee call every day, just to get an idea as to what lengths (willingness) the new sponsee is willing to follow direction.
Your choice.
Love and hugs,
Theoretically, it takes 90 days of practicing a new 'habit' to break an old one. Also gets you into the habit of 'hitting' a meeting, when things are going bad or good.
Did you drink every day? I sure did, so it made perfect sense to me.
Also, sponsors will use that one, and/or have a new sponsee call every day, just to get an idea as to what lengths (willingness) the new sponsee is willing to follow direction.
Your choice.
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
90 days to break an old habit makes sense. I drank probably 5 nights a week on average. I took some nights off if I had something important the next morning/day, also took some nights off if I went waaay overboard the previous night.
Ill find my groove Im sure.
Ill find my groove Im sure.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: VA
Posts: 25
I know 90 in 90 would have helped me tremendously in the beginning if I had listened to it. Someone once told me to also be careful of getting too comfortable with the same meetings. Different meetings have different people which means different recovery. Congrats on your sobriety!
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Everyone will work the program a little differently. But the way I see it the more you give the more you will get from it. I'm not doing 90/90 but theres got to be a really good reason why I miss a day since I started.
Dee74 would say that when you're feeling "lazy" or don't want to go is the time you should really go and I agree. It's easy to slack off.
Keep up the good work and keep us updated
Dee74 would say that when you're feeling "lazy" or don't want to go is the time you should really go and I agree. It's easy to slack off.
Keep up the good work and keep us updated
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
hey, ShaneW
Well, 90 meetings in 90 days isn't in the first 164 pages of the Big Book, and I don't know if it started in the treatment industry or not, but if I wanted to remain sober this time, I decided to do what others before me did.
Now, there is something to the chip tradition, which I assume started with the old timers (meaning 1930s to 1940s), establishing 30 days, 60 days and 90 days as milestones to be recognized.
I have also read that PAWS sort of follow a 30-day cyclic clock...Or a rule of 3s...if the sober time is divisible by 3, it's something to watch out for. For me, that was pretty much true. My physical protracted withdrawal symptoms seemed to crank up at six months, nine months, 12 months and again as I approach 18 months. I've heard that for those of us who loved to abuse drugs and booze, serotonin seeks to get a tad whacky finding appropriate places in the brain to land and do its thing at 30-day intervals.
Who knows? Who cares? If doing 90 meetings in 90 days is a problem just out of laziness, I would suggest you do what others before you have to make some significant sober time.
For me, I did about 110 meetings in 90 days, and (had to check a calculator) have now been sober for 421 days.
Well, 90 meetings in 90 days isn't in the first 164 pages of the Big Book, and I don't know if it started in the treatment industry or not, but if I wanted to remain sober this time, I decided to do what others before me did.
Now, there is something to the chip tradition, which I assume started with the old timers (meaning 1930s to 1940s), establishing 30 days, 60 days and 90 days as milestones to be recognized.
I have also read that PAWS sort of follow a 30-day cyclic clock...Or a rule of 3s...if the sober time is divisible by 3, it's something to watch out for. For me, that was pretty much true. My physical protracted withdrawal symptoms seemed to crank up at six months, nine months, 12 months and again as I approach 18 months. I've heard that for those of us who loved to abuse drugs and booze, serotonin seeks to get a tad whacky finding appropriate places in the brain to land and do its thing at 30-day intervals.
Who knows? Who cares? If doing 90 meetings in 90 days is a problem just out of laziness, I would suggest you do what others before you have to make some significant sober time.
For me, I did about 110 meetings in 90 days, and (had to check a calculator) have now been sober for 421 days.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
yeah, regretting I wrote lazy now. Maybe Im thinking that I dont need as strict a schedule as others, since I was just booze...Man, just writing that makes me feel that that may have been my thinking.
And I couldnt be more wrong. Im not special.
Gonna push myself to go each night.
And I couldnt be more wrong. Im not special.
Gonna push myself to go each night.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Take a listen to Jim S. from Laguna Hills, CA speaking at the El Toro Friday Night speakers meeting in Lake Forest, CA - April 25th 2008
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2-90-90-a.html
Jim talks about 90 in 90. The solution is in the steps.
It really takes 30 days to break a bad habit. 90 in 90 is from rehabs. But, 90 in 90 does make a good beginning. We tend to isolate, refuse help, refuse following directions. We have a ton of bad habits. I attended 3 meetings a day for almost 90 days only because I was tired of being alone & isolating; and it helped me not to drink for those 3 hours plus travel time.
I found a sponsor to help me out. We decided on the number of meetings I would commit to. As an alkie, I have a hard time following through with commitments. I agreed to 3 meetings a week.
My sponsor told me that if they asked me to attend 90 in 90, then they better be willing to accompany me to every meeting. If I attend a meeting daily, when is there time to live life? When is there time to work on the steps? When is there time to actually sit with my sponsor and study the AA textbook? When is there time to work with a sponsee? I often attend more than 3 meetings a week, but if it's only 3 that I do make, I've met my commitment and I feel that I've accomplished my goal and met my commitment. That feeling is priceless.
Meetings exist so the newcomer can find us. In early AA, if you hadn't worked the steps, you often weren't allowed to attend your next meeting as you had nothing to add to that meeting. Not until you worked the steps of recovery (now there's a reason meetings have become group therapy sessions)
Chips are to show the newcomer that the program works, they are not part of the original AA program. They started around 1942 in Elmira, NY. Although Sister Ignatia may have given people a St. Christopher charm (patron saint of travelers) or a medallian, and told them to bring it back to her before they drank. Clarence Snyder, alkie # 40, had his own medallion and he put a hole in it for each year of his sobriety. Some people are told to suck on their chip and if and when it dissolves, then they can drink. I like chips and today they are a part of the AA culture. And yes, there are chips for every month from 1-12 today!
There's a story of a woman (in the 1040's) who went to a bar, put her change on the counter to see if she could drink. The bartender saw her chip and asked about it. When he found out what it was, his response was, "We don't serve alcoholics!" and showed her the door!
Clapping for an AA'er was disapproved of for celebrations in early AA as it blew up their ego. Celebrations were low key.
My sponsor and I work together. We discuss things. If you are able to attend 90 in 90, go for it. If there's a discrepancy, discuss it and work out a solution. Does your sponsor attend a meeting daily? When does he have a life? Many people hide inside of AA and therefore, they don't have to practice anything they've learned in the real world with those other people..... A sponsor's role is to guide you through the steps. My sponsor is not an accountant, relationship advisor, or a doctor. There are professionals for those things!
Just my opinion and some things I've read thrown in here. Take it with a grain of salt. Or think about it. I'm sure someone will have other things to add.
Keep going, Shane!!!!!!!! You are a miracle!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2-90-90-a.html
Jim talks about 90 in 90. The solution is in the steps.
It really takes 30 days to break a bad habit. 90 in 90 is from rehabs. But, 90 in 90 does make a good beginning. We tend to isolate, refuse help, refuse following directions. We have a ton of bad habits. I attended 3 meetings a day for almost 90 days only because I was tired of being alone & isolating; and it helped me not to drink for those 3 hours plus travel time.
I found a sponsor to help me out. We decided on the number of meetings I would commit to. As an alkie, I have a hard time following through with commitments. I agreed to 3 meetings a week.
My sponsor told me that if they asked me to attend 90 in 90, then they better be willing to accompany me to every meeting. If I attend a meeting daily, when is there time to live life? When is there time to work on the steps? When is there time to actually sit with my sponsor and study the AA textbook? When is there time to work with a sponsee? I often attend more than 3 meetings a week, but if it's only 3 that I do make, I've met my commitment and I feel that I've accomplished my goal and met my commitment. That feeling is priceless.
Meetings exist so the newcomer can find us. In early AA, if you hadn't worked the steps, you often weren't allowed to attend your next meeting as you had nothing to add to that meeting. Not until you worked the steps of recovery (now there's a reason meetings have become group therapy sessions)
Chips are to show the newcomer that the program works, they are not part of the original AA program. They started around 1942 in Elmira, NY. Although Sister Ignatia may have given people a St. Christopher charm (patron saint of travelers) or a medallian, and told them to bring it back to her before they drank. Clarence Snyder, alkie # 40, had his own medallion and he put a hole in it for each year of his sobriety. Some people are told to suck on their chip and if and when it dissolves, then they can drink. I like chips and today they are a part of the AA culture. And yes, there are chips for every month from 1-12 today!
There's a story of a woman (in the 1040's) who went to a bar, put her change on the counter to see if she could drink. The bartender saw her chip and asked about it. When he found out what it was, his response was, "We don't serve alcoholics!" and showed her the door!
Clapping for an AA'er was disapproved of for celebrations in early AA as it blew up their ego. Celebrations were low key.
My sponsor and I work together. We discuss things. If you are able to attend 90 in 90, go for it. If there's a discrepancy, discuss it and work out a solution. Does your sponsor attend a meeting daily? When does he have a life? Many people hide inside of AA and therefore, they don't have to practice anything they've learned in the real world with those other people..... A sponsor's role is to guide you through the steps. My sponsor is not an accountant, relationship advisor, or a doctor. There are professionals for those things!
Just my opinion and some things I've read thrown in here. Take it with a grain of salt. Or think about it. I'm sure someone will have other things to add.
Keep going, Shane!!!!!!!! You are a miracle!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
I went to any lengths to drink, so for me
to begin buiding a strong foundation to
live upon in recovery, I had to go to any
lengths to stay sober.
My recovery began in rehab where I spent
28 days recieving the tools and knowledge
of my alcoholism to incorperate in my everyday
life.
Lack of communication and understand I so
desperately needed in my own little family
caused me to venture to more AA meetings
to get what I needed to stay on course with
my own recovery.
Those first 6 yrs. i went to many many different
meetings listening and absorbing what I needed
to stay sober and aquire an AA support system
I needed before relocating to Tx....then I added
my online AA support here in SR and other AA
sources online passing on my own ESH of what
it was like before during and after my drinking to
others still suffering with addiction.
Some 21 yrs later, I am still living on my solid
recovey foundation and enjoying the rewards
promised us in AA as mentioned in our Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
to begin buiding a strong foundation to
live upon in recovery, I had to go to any
lengths to stay sober.
My recovery began in rehab where I spent
28 days recieving the tools and knowledge
of my alcoholism to incorperate in my everyday
life.
Lack of communication and understand I so
desperately needed in my own little family
caused me to venture to more AA meetings
to get what I needed to stay on course with
my own recovery.
Those first 6 yrs. i went to many many different
meetings listening and absorbing what I needed
to stay sober and aquire an AA support system
I needed before relocating to Tx....then I added
my online AA support here in SR and other AA
sources online passing on my own ESH of what
it was like before during and after my drinking to
others still suffering with addiction.
Some 21 yrs later, I am still living on my solid
recovey foundation and enjoying the rewards
promised us in AA as mentioned in our Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
I wasn't able to do 90 in 90. I live in a very rural area with small children and a husband that works 2nd shift. However, every single day I would put steps toward my recovery and I still do. I read lit, work steps, write out my 5 gratitudes and one thing I could have done better the day before and one thing I did well. That is my sponsors suggestion, I do it... we talk a few times per week. This has helped me as I have almost 14 months.
Hang in there Shane, don't get lazy in your recovery and remember when the alcoholic voice pops into your head, stuff like, "you can have just one, or no one needs to know...." etc....take that thought captive and cast it down cuz it really is a big fat LIE.
blessings, Lily
Hang in there Shane, don't get lazy in your recovery and remember when the alcoholic voice pops into your head, stuff like, "you can have just one, or no one needs to know...." etc....take that thought captive and cast it down cuz it really is a big fat LIE.
blessings, Lily
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
gonna echo what others have posted- changing my pattern took the 90 in 90. i hung out with winners, i did the "meeting after the meeting" , i worked the steps with my sponsor- all the things that ,left to my own devices, i would not have done [the previous 20 years were living proof] looking back on it - that foundation was vital for me to discover what living a sane life felt like.
Like Lily, i now live in a rural area where local meets are hard to come by- but we still manage to carpool to at least 2 a week. And thats after 16 years clean n sober....
Like Lily, i now live in a rural area where local meets are hard to come by- but we still manage to carpool to at least 2 a week. And thats after 16 years clean n sober....
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,964
Something else I was thinking of is that as isolating alcoholics, getting out of our comfort zone is important. We learn to attend meetings, as difficult it is, and find that slowly some of our social phobia is relieved. We learn to talk in small and large groups of people. We learn we are not alone, in many ways. We learn so much being in a similar group on a regular basis. Hopefully, what we learn can be transferred to the world outside of meetings. This, along with our step work, really help us to transform into social people.
There's a lot more I haven't mentioned. If you can do the 90 in 90, remember we don't explode on day 91. We just have a strong AA foundation in the fellowship of the meetings. And try different meetings in different locations and with different formats (big book, step, discussion, all men's, mixed groups, MD, DC and other areas of VA).
There's a lot more I haven't mentioned. If you can do the 90 in 90, remember we don't explode on day 91. We just have a strong AA foundation in the fellowship of the meetings. And try different meetings in different locations and with different formats (big book, step, discussion, all men's, mixed groups, MD, DC and other areas of VA).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I have a guy in my HG that was in and out for years.....He finally got it and did the work....has two years....He shared that his first attempt he did 90 in 90 and drank on day 91....He said he did absolutely nothing but show up for meetings,,,And when he was there...He was a clock watcher. Just proof you get out of this program what you put into it.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
This is mentioned in the Narcotics Anonymous literature.
I didn't realize it at the time cause I was going to A.A. However, when I started I was so Grateful at my new start at a new life, I was willing to go to any lengths. Not only that but I was very excited about Recovery!
My goal was to do 300 meetings in 90 days. I made 297. I was depressed when I went in and they had a cake with the 300 days in 90 on the cake. I told them I did a count before I went to the meeting and came up with 297 and I felt I was a failure. I was assured that I wasn't a failure. They told me the following...
"Vic, just maybe you miss counted, you might have forgotten to mark a meeting, or something. There is no reason to feel like a failure at this time. This is the time that we are celebrating your commitment to Recovery."
I didn't realize it at the time cause I was going to A.A. However, when I started I was so Grateful at my new start at a new life, I was willing to go to any lengths. Not only that but I was very excited about Recovery!
My goal was to do 300 meetings in 90 days. I made 297. I was depressed when I went in and they had a cake with the 300 days in 90 on the cake. I told them I did a count before I went to the meeting and came up with 297 and I felt I was a failure. I was assured that I wasn't a failure. They told me the following...
"Vic, just maybe you miss counted, you might have forgotten to mark a meeting, or something. There is no reason to feel like a failure at this time. This is the time that we are celebrating your commitment to Recovery."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Here
Posts: 183
Thx for all the great replies and suggestions. Im still taking everything in, and Ive always been the type to need a night to sleep on it before jumping in with both feet.
Im gonna do all I can to get 90 in 90. But if something unavoidable hinders my daily meeting schedule, Ill just talk with my Sponsor and do any work I can on my own. Tonight was #6 in 9days (I have 20 days sober, but only started meetings 9 days ago), so Ill need to double up a couple times. But having a goal for these first three months will help me kick old lazy habits that exhisted in my alcoholic life.
Seriously A LOT of good suggestions in this thread...
Im already hitting the meeting after the meeting, we've gone to late dinner last 2 nights. And getting in a groove with a group of good people. But, Im still gonna hit up a totally new meet Sunday & Thursday night (I already have meets M-Tu-W-F-Sa), to branch out even more.
Im gonna do all I can to get 90 in 90. But if something unavoidable hinders my daily meeting schedule, Ill just talk with my Sponsor and do any work I can on my own. Tonight was #6 in 9days (I have 20 days sober, but only started meetings 9 days ago), so Ill need to double up a couple times. But having a goal for these first three months will help me kick old lazy habits that exhisted in my alcoholic life.
Seriously A LOT of good suggestions in this thread...
Im already hitting the meeting after the meeting, we've gone to late dinner last 2 nights. And getting in a groove with a group of good people. But, Im still gonna hit up a totally new meet Sunday & Thursday night (I already have meets M-Tu-W-F-Sa), to branch out even more.
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