lovetodrink

so ive been sober 24 hours now. went to my first AA meeting in years tonight...it was pretty good. lot's of nice and happy people and i felt pretty good afterwards.

then i got home

and my buddies started texting me saying hey lets go out, hey i got this really good coke, etc etc. and it all went to ****. even though i had the worst hangover of my life on thursday the thought of being able to get out, get social and feel amazing at least for a night is KILLING ME.

however, im at my parents house now and i told them all i cant get out tonight. i really wish i could get rid of this feeling....

logicalparadox

Hey, all I can really add is I know the feeling. The only friends I made where I've moved too, that I hung out with outside of work/class, use/drink. I'm on day 15 and I've had to go as far as changing my number (constant calling, telling me they got xyz, etc...and well some are involved in super questionable things and i need OUT of that if I have a hope in hell) and well, it's lonely. I keep telling myself that I've been one to rather easily make friends, but then again it was easy when out/about/etc/working in bars. I have to get my head right before I even am more social period (thats me and my anxiety issues too) and that life isn't going anywhere. I have to take the time to get stronger for myself and to give life in halfway wasted a chance.
This place has been a real help. It's not exactly the best time (and i was always always always out) but I got netflix, a couple great books, and a lot of tea for my night. Hang in there.

desertsong

Lovetodrink ...

I can totally relate to all you have said.

That being said ... today in AA, a 20-something friend shared that although she had attained 60+ days of sobriety, she fell off the wagon a couple of days ago. Why? Because she was still hanging around her partying friends, who were getting drunk and drugging every day, all day long.

In AA, we say "nothing changes if nothing changes." It's a very difficult concept to consider ditching "friends" that you used to party with, especially at your age, but they will contribute nothing to your sobriety. You have to decide if you can have them in your life and be sober, or have them in your life and let them drag you down into the pit with them.

It's cut and dried to me, since I'm much older than you and have already been through this agony. These days, it's no problem for me to cut people out of my life who threaten my sobriety, but you're young and your social life is important to you. I guess you need to decide now what is more important to you ... your drinking/drugging friendships or your future.

What do you think you will choose?

FLA

I am 100% with you man. I left home, came to my parents house and I'm getting sober while all my friends are out partying as I type this. I came to the realization that I need to stop putting others in front of my own well being. Normally i would feel like I'm missing out, but this time I understand that they are not doing anything new, same sh*t different toliet. Hang in there, don't slip up because in the long run your gonna feel way better about yourself and your surroundings. If you have to turn your phone off and type away on here to get your mind off everything, than do it.

janiebluebird

I'm struggling with what to do about my drinking buddies as well. They aren't bad people by any means, I'm sure many of them will be willing to do sober activities with me, but I'm worried about birthday parties and an overall feeling of missing out on nights that I just can't join them anymore. *sigh*
My future is important to me. This is my first weekend not drinking, I am considering attending a meeting tomorrow night. Maybe I'll meet some new people to socialize with.

FLA

[QUOTE=janiebluebird;3285785]I'm struggling with what to do about my drinking buddies as well. They aren't bad people by any means.



That's my problem as well. I've known most of them before we even started partying. Then mid highscool we all started partying, I've just always over done it and went over board. They don't really understand why I want to stop drinking or what addictions about, even tho two of them have duis and are required to attend AA meetings. Hopefully it will sink in and my sober living will rub off on them.

lovetodrink

thanks guys, it helps a little knowing im not alone in this

its even harder for me to cut these people out of my life because i work with them!! i see them every damn day and i dont need any more stress at work.

im hoping that if i say no enough times maybe they will just leave me alone...

i also want to get going with the whole aa thing and do the steps...from the speaker talks i listened to it sounds like the craving goes away after you've done that. but we will see.

janiebluebird

Yeah, you will lead a healthier and more productive life in the long run. Hopefully we both will stay out of the party scene somehow.

lovetodrink

on the bright side these "friends" are partying friends only, ive never hung out with them sober...only at bars and at their houses drinking and drugging our asses off. another good thing is im switching shifts next week so i wont be seeing them all day, only as i finish my shift.

im happy i could stay strong tonight at least. going to do the 90+ meetings in 90 days thing too, hopefully it will get easier!

lovetodrink

i hope so too...its so hard at our age. its also hard because, at least for me, the party isnt "over yet". i have lots of consequences from drinking/using, but when i am messed up, i still have a great time...its the next day(s) that I pay for it.

Dee74

welcome LTD

I couldn't live my old life and stay sober - I had to make some tough choices
It's definitely hard at the beginning - but you'll find a lot of sober support here

D